Newly married--one year after short courtship. Two teen boys (16, 13). Both have ADHD and poor social skills. One is introverted (extremely limited interests) and is passively defiant and failed the semester in new high school. His interactions with his mother consists mostly of sarcastic banter. I question the strength of his bond with the mother as he has another father and spend 5 years in counseling with mom due to tantrums. The younger boy is extroverted, very interruptive and has had a few issues with small scuffles with kids in the neighborhood. His father's visitation (interest just spiked. He's inconsistent with child support ($700 a month), but biodad still gets to interrupt our families first year of blending. Both kids withdrawal to their room and games. They are incredibly independent and have a knack at telling their mom what to do. Mom is owning her reverse parenting role/style, a past contributer of not instilling responsibility and respect. Mom has an emotional/reactive parenting style, but she has been open to my feedback and learning to cool down before correcting. She struggles with consistency. I had lost patience a couple of times when we started living under the same roof, but I have pretty much understood some key principles of blending, such as allow mom to be the disciplinarian, don't prevent bio-dad from visiting, and be patient with the process. We started counseling a week ago. I am struggling with the prognosis--that is, the requirement to deal with situation with extreme patience, feeling villified even though I am doing darn good as a provider, etc, and having to be let circumstances and others seemingly lead my family. I am committed to my wife and children. I am thinking that I should count gains and just hold-fast and endure. This may be a bit of a belly ache and my part, but any tips/suggestions, resources, ideas for a new outlook would be appreciated!