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SS17 ran up debts,Im getting worried about future

Ritka88's picture

Submitted by Ritka88 on Wed, 03/08/2023 - 4:49pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Hi,I was not here long time,life was prettu sure ok.Until monday.SD17 is a lazy stepbrat,no rules,no chores,no school,repeating classes,wanting to be a "boss" and thinking money comes easy.This is long story.He has no brain really. On monday he called my husband telling that he is pursued for money he supposted give back.Long story short,he taken big amount of e-cigaretes from one guy he distribures it and had a plan to sell it out(what obviusly is not legal) and earn money.But he is a stupid kid and he was not controlling anything.Stuff got end,money he supposted to give him back is gone...Is around 700$ what is a lot on poland where we live.Now he is looking for help and thinking his dad will pay it.No fucking way...Situation is still in progress,husband thinking to get his iphone and sell it but I can see that he is touched by daddy guilt and trying to avoid this.I don't know what to do,what to think,if he will give him these money then he will make a dept again and again and it might be not 700but way more next time...Im afraid next time he will get a debt for himself to pay for his stupidity..I will not accept it at all.What should I do? Should I think about magriage articles? Im afraid he will come one day telling some people trying to kill him for money he should give back and daddy will save him again ruining our finances..Help!

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Wed, 03/08/2023 - 5:18pm

Separate your finances, if possible.  You're right, this behavior won't stop.  Protect yourself.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 03/09/2023 - 7:40am

Is your SS coming over any more?  I am assuming you went forward with buying a home that didn't accomodate his son.. so son eventually stopped coming?

Where is the kid's mother in all of this?  

This IS an issue that should not be resolved between your DH and his son.. it should involve a discussion with the boy's mother as well.. and both parents should be insiisting on a resolution that requires his son to repay any money the parents front to get him out of this jam he has put himself in... it should involve a requirement for him to get a job as well.  and if he has a substance abuse problem..  he should be in counseling/therapy.

I would worry.. your DH does not seem very responsible based on the back history where you were sleeping in the living room... then not able to afford a home big enough for both his son.. and you as a couple.. he may be contributing toyour household.. but he has fallen short on fully supporting his son.

Ritka88's picture

Submitted by Ritka88 on Thu, 03/09/2023 - 12:12pm

Hi,thank you for spending time looking at my past appreciate that.Yes,my husband had a huge daddy guilt but more less two years ago one situation happened(we had a huge arguee and I send him away) after that I told him we can be back together but he needs to babysit his son in his family house.That was happening around 6months,then SS decided he does not want to sleep with him and stopped coming.He lives in her mother house,she is involved in situation with debt,she is demandig him and saying is just a kid,we need to help him...But she is not a smart one,no school,has no clue about real life.Today SS is saying that one of his coleague has his stuff so he can take it back and sell but this is I think next lie,just to play for time.Im so angry we are arguing again because of him..And even that we took him for a lovely mountain snowboarding weekend (just this lats weekend) and he has been playing innocent and on Monday he came with this stupid issue...Really thinking is worth to have a kid this times,childrens are terrible now...

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 03/09/2023 - 11:42am

Your partner and yourself should separate finances. AND you should tell your partner that if hes going to help his son, he will still need to pay his share.