This may be controversial here. My stepdaughter is gone - moved out and no longer a part of our household. She is sixteen, and caused so much havoc here, including (but not limited to) violence against my kids and me, hiding and doing drugs in my home, hitting her dad, declaring that she did not consider the child I just gave birth to her brother or even human and wishing him dead, hitting her mom and leaving bruises, and refusing to follow any rules of our house.

She is living with mom, who has her own issues, and who is willing to "buy" her for the moment, taking her for belly button piercing, tattoos, and overlooking her mental health needs so daughter will want to live there. Social services was involved, recommended a psych eval and drug treatment for 16, but neither was done and ultimately social services said they couldn't force it.

As a result I refuse to allow the girl here, for overnights or parenting time. She has chosen not to be here anyway, and in fact doesn't want to visit with her dad. She doesn't take his calls, hangs up on him and is disrespectful to him at any possible turn. We have the same birthday and when we were in a family member's house for the birthday (a big one for both of us, as it turns out, year wise, she is 16 and I am 40), she stomped out of the room and locked herself into another room simply because my name was sung in the birthday song. She told her dad to leave her alone, and from that day on has not spoken to him.

All of this and so much more is why I am glad she's gone. I feel for her dad, but I can't force her to a relationship with him, and frankly the one they had was so unhealthy (him buying her same as her mom does, giving in to her and doing anything she wanted, no matter how much it affected any other family member including her full blood sister) I don't think it is a bad thing that they are not in relationship right now. I wish for the day she is eighteen and there is no chance she will have to live with us, even though I know that parenting doesn't end then. I really feel the girl needs mental health help and feel for her on some level, but I have washed my hands of it since there is nothing I can truly do.

Roast me if you wish - I know it is not very adult or loving of me to have removed myself emotionally, but I had to. It was the only way to save myself and my other kids. She was destroying our household and every relationship within it. I still shudder looking back. I will never allow such dramatic, negative garbage here again.