I remarried two years ago to a widower who has one daughter. I have 3 children of my own. My husband is the most caring, loving, generous man I've ever met. His daughter is very loving as well. My husband lost his late wife when his daughter was 9 and from that point on he only over compensated for the loss. Although she is a caring child she is spoil beyond belief. She never was set boundaries, rules, or discipline. Basically her role after her moms passing was like a wife not a child. My husband and I discussed this prior to marriage. I realized it would be a culture shock for her to have certain rules. Like a bed time. So I asked him to put some in place before we were married. My step-daughter bonded with me immediately. She calls me mom and tells me she loves me. Once we married we discussed discipline and decided I would discipline my children and he would discipline his. First two years of marriage were great, even though my husband did not install any rules prior to us getting married. The only problem within our marriage is my husband not ever saying no to his daughter. She still doesn't have a bed time when mine are in bed by 10pm. She's usually up till all hours of the night. A few months ago she asked for unlimited text messaging for her cell phone. I told my husband that it's a bad idea, my step-daughter does well in school even with the hours she keeps. I told him her grades would drop and I also suggested some sort of bed time rules for her because it's difficult for her to get up in the morning and she also looks so tired. He as usually just listens to what Ihave to say and does what he wants. Even though I love my step-daughter I am forced to not care by him. So just 2 months after having the texting the school calls, her grades have fallen so badly they are concerned with what is going on in the home. My husband finally agrees with me and decides to take her phone away and internet at 11pm. 11pm sounds late to you and me but believe me for this kid it was the end of the world. Each night she cried like a 5 years old being told to go to bed for the first time. Thanks to me my husband stood his ground. Then the cell bill came in. The text messages my step-daughter are receiving are from a 39 year old married man with 3 kids. My SD baby sits for this family. The man was indicating text messages to her at all hours of the day and night. 3,989 messages in one month. We immediately went to the police and my husband forbide her to baby-sit for this man. Verizon Wireless was not able to get the detail of the messages only who sent them and the time. I do not believe he abuse her sexually however I do believe he planned too. 3 years ago I met this man and told my husband to not allow her to babysit for him. My step daughter felt uncomfortable with the man so it didn't go on for very long. Unfortunately it started up again a few months ago. Me being a step-mother I have no say it what my step-daughter is allowed to do. My husband felt it was ok and basically because he never says no to his daughter. Well the bottom line now is my step-daughter went from loving me to hating me. She believes this man was the best thing to ever happen to her and her having boundaries now is all my fault. She also tells her father she has a mother and she's in her heart that I'm not her mother and do not need to be concerned with her. Just my own children. My step-daughter was not talking to either of us for about 2 weeks. We broke got onto her computer one day to see if there were emails to this guy. We found emails from her just saying how much she loves him and how safe she feels in his arms. Along with how much she hates me now. And that her father is always putting me first instead of her. She starts therapy next week but it bothers me deeply that she hates me so. She just recently started speaking to her father but barely to me. Another thing that is really bothering me is that I've only done the best for my step-daughter. Never have I threated her differently then my own. So now my husband is feeling guilty for his daughter hating me so. He feels maybe he didn't give her enough attention. She has gotten plently of attention, unfortunately nothing is ever enough. It makes sense that she would become jealous of me to a certain extend. She did sleep with her father up until we married. Which of course was not continuing. My husband and I are very happy and show it. I understand even though she lost her mother their relationship wasn't as good. Has anyone experienced anything like this? When will it get better?