My 15 year old step daughter is seemingly unable to accept responsibility for anything. For example, she left a pair of boots that she borrowed from a friend in her uncle's car. The boots now can't be found, and she insists that it's her uncle's fault, not her own. I've explained to her that since the boots were intrusted to her, she is in charge of making amends. She just doesn't get it! She thinks that it's her uncle who should make good, totally bypassing herself. Whenever she and her dad get into an argument, it almost always is started by her raising her voice at him, talking back or trying to take control of situations she doesn't need to be in. She always thinks that he is at fault, and she never acknowledges that she has a hand in anything. Her dad does a good job of setting her straight when he's here, but he works out of state so SHE IS ALL MINE 90% OF THE TIME. Her mother lives 2 hours away and they only spend time together one weekend a month. Needless to say, I feel like a single mom most of the time. I don't want to burden my sweetheart with the specific situations all the time because he's spending all his efforts towards making a good life for our family. I know he doesn't need the added stress, and I really feel like when I explain things to her, she gets it but only for a minute. It doesn't stick and I know this is a serious quality she needs to have. She'll be going to college in a few years and I know she'll have to learn this the hard way if she doesn't listen and absorb while she's at home.
Does anyone have any tips on this? Since she's with me all the time the responsibility falls on me and I don't want to fail.