My 12 year old stepson has a crush on me

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I'm not entirely sure "crush" is the right word, but I'll go with it. I've known him since he was 9, but I've only been married to his dad for 2 months. He doesn't live with us full time, but he's here weekly at least 2 days a week.

Over the course of the past few weeks, I've noticed him acting very clingy with me. He has anxiety, so at first I was suspicious that distance learning was starting to get to him. But last night, after his father went to sleep, he confessed to me that sometimes he checks me out. Told me that he even had a dream that I chose him over his father...he had more to say, but you get the general gist of things.

I told his father about it, and he is going to have a talk with him. But honestly, I don't know what to do with this. I'm mildly uncomfortable knowing that he thinks of me this way. He and I always had such a fun relationship, but I fear that puberty may be getting in the way now. I get that I might need to watch what I'm wearing when he's here, and maybe cut back on the hugs a bit. But I don't know what else to do...

Yes, boundaries are in order.

Yes, boundaries are in order. Watch what you are wearing, and definitely fewer hugs. Let him know that his feelings are normal, but since you are an adult, and his stepmother, he needs to keep it to himself. I would have limited physical contact with him, it's not really all that appropriate to have lots of hugs and physical contact at 12 anyway (maybe if you were his mom, but you aren't).

DH also needs to normalize it but make clear that it's not appropriate for him to check you out or try to touch you or anything of that sort. Also, is he watching porn? Lots of "step" stuff in porn right now.

Yuck, I know. I googled to

Yuck, I know. I googled to see if anyone else had this issue, and a bunch of porn popped up under the subject. We've been searching his history on his phone and computer, but haven't found anything yet.

The hug thing isn't unique to me, he's just a really affectionate kid with everyone. But I knew something was off when he wanted more hugs from me than usual...

Thankfully, husband had a talk with him when I was out grocery shopping this afternoon. I think he went with the respect route, told him he wasn't okay with him looking at his wife that way. We've agreed to be more mindful of how we show affection toward each other when he's around. And I don't mind making sure I dress a little more mom-like when he's around.