Can you say military school?
My 14 yo stepdaughter recently shared with a family member that she is drinking, using drugs and is sexually active. When her father questioned her about this, she claimed that she only said those things because she knew that it would hurt her father. Which lie do you believe? Which is worse; that she is using drugs and sexually active, or that she munipulated someone with the intention of hurting her father?!
We have had this child to several counselors. She refuses to talk to any of them. Gives them the same one word, short, curt answers she does us.
My husband's response to all of this was to ground her and take her phone from her for ONE week. He gave it back to her today. He also allowed her to go somewhere with a friend that we suspect contributing to the behaviors. When I found out that she had gone with her friend I was so furious that my husband finally when and got her and brought her back home. I am so angry with him I can not sleep! ONE WEEK!! Obviously, I think this is a bigger deal than he does.
My husband is a smart man, but when it comes to his daughter he acts like such and idiot. He is either an idiot, or does not care enough to do anything about it. He did not have good role models as parents, but give me a break... Surely, he can figure out that a one week restriction is not severe enough for this offense.
What do I do now? My husband clearly is not capable of handling this. I can not do anything because I am the "wicked bitch." I love my husband very much. He is a good husband, he just sucks as a parent. We have been married for 5 years. His daughter has been a problem before day one.
After five years, things are mildly better. But,I have my own 14 you daughter to worry about. I do not want her around this. He is allowing his daughter to screw up her life as well has his. And there is nothing I can do about it. I am incapable of saving her or him. But I do not have to let them drag my daughter and me down with them. I'm considering leaving. I feel so helpless. What do I do now?
Sorry to hear about this. We
Sorry to hear about this. We have the same issues with my SD14, she is not using drugs or having sex that we know of. But, she is just on the edge. She has been a problem since we were dating. I warned him of this stuff back in the 6th grade. He didn't want to see it. I think he is starting to. We have a custody battle going on now for her. She wants to live with mom and he keeps going back and forth on it. Last night it was for full custody. God help me, I don't want him to. You need to do what I do with my son for your daughter. Don't tolerate the insolence that she will do to you, because she hears it from your SD. I call him on it. Otherwise, he is fine. He can't stand the drama that she brings. Right now, I wish I knew what the summer brings. I don't want her here.
Just keep telling your child that the way sh behaves is not the way you will allow your child to behave. Say it in front of your husband and her as often as you can. Don't be mean just be matter of fact. Eventually it will kick in. I noticed that when I called him out on this stuff, he started to be more aware of how he was not handling it. Also, we have issues with punishments not consistent at BM's house. When it is brought up by the kids, I alway say that is your mother right, but it is also our house and you will follow our rules. That works. But, it does get blunt sometimes with the kids. There answer is ground me, it doesn't matter I am off grounding next week at mom's. UGH. Good luck. But, I think you should stick around, you love your husband. Stick it out. Just don't let her behavior affect your child without a fight.
There is no one right way to
There is no one right way to handle disciplining your child. That’s because all children are different and have different approaches that might work or not work for them. If you are struggling with a son or daughter who is acting up, performing poorly at school, experimenting with drugs or getting into trouble with the law, it might be time to consider sending him or her to military boarding school.