I don’t want to come home
I guess this is more of a vent, but I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know who to talk to.
I do have a therapist but he can’t see me this week and there is marriage counseling, it helps but then it doesn’t if that makes sense.
ive been married for five years, together for 10. Husband has custody of two teens 14 and 15. I guess they are ok, but they aren’t my kids and none of the things they do are endearing. Like the 15 year old started having sex last year— pressures a girl to have sex, dumped her when she got “clingy” and now this girl is a walking “thirteen reasons why” waiting to happen, and my husbands like meh. That’s his favorite kid so it’s whatever. He’s also failing school, but that’s no big deal either. His other kid ha gs out with older kids and he’s always getting in trouble in school. NBd either. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m sick of his kids. Every break I can get I go on my knees thanking G-d for. But of course DH doesn’t get it, they are his kids. So FM right.
but we got into a blow up fight this Monday because i asked him if he spoke to BM about the summer. I’ve been asking for weeks. I’m giving birth in July and I know SK1 has summer school until the end of July, but i was hoping he’d go to moms by then. The other kid will be at moms. I really don’t want to deal with teenagers screaming into their headsets playing fornight and being assholes when I’m trying breastfeed. Watching DH cater to them when my whole pregnancy it’s like “man up”. Oh, he blew up at me. Saying he’s on vacation then and he misses his kids and maybe I shouldn’t have married someone with kids (vacation? He’s taking FMLA supposedly to help me with the baby, he has custody of his kids- what?) so Inwent to bed crying. Next day he says he’s got to go to work and he doesn’t want to argue and he’s done nothing wrong.
I don’t want to come home after I give birth, at all. I don’t want to be surrounded by teenagers, watching him revert to super dad catering to them. I don’t even want him in the delivery room.
maybe I want things to be about the baby and me for once. All I know is, I’m tired of thinking about it and tired of this. I want it to end you know?
Do you work and have options?
Do you work and have options?
Nice the fmla time has turned into his vacation w "his kids".
Not working right now.
Not working right now. Supposed to get my last couple of checks soon. Trying to figure out where to go/stay that’s not too expensive. Family lives out of state.
Family lives out of state...
Family lives out of state....maybe a change scenery wouldn't be such a bad thing.
This kind of stress is the
This kind of stress is the last thing you need when pregnant and I'm sorry your husband is making his FMLA about his other kids instead of you and the baby. If he won't take the FMLA time for you - tell him you are going to stay with family and then good luck with him getting the FMLA approved or paid for.
ok, so if your dh won't man
ok, so if your dh won't man up, YOU man up.
You tell his brats, in front of him, that you are sick of their crappy behavior, and that THEY.WILL.BEHAVE. with a new baby in the hosue, because YOU.WILL.NOT put up with their crap, and that if DH can't control his spawn like a good parent should, perhaps he should re-consider his visitation with them, or make alternate arrangements for them while he's at work, because YOU sure as sh!t won't be the one to have those brats around disrupting you and the baby when he's not home.
Tell him you knew he had kids, but you didn't know he was such a crappy parent.
Just my 10 cents
I feel very sorry for you. I too am expecting and have SS17 and SD16 living with us full time. The LAST thing on earth I/you need is having 2 sullen a.hole teenagers living in your house like ungrateful lodgers when you have just had a baby. Your DH doesn't sound very supportive at all to be honest.
I have told DH straight that as of October 2018 both will be moving back to their mothers. All being well, my baby is due mid January and I am quite simply not having 2 overgrown, ungrateful ratbags skulking about my house when I am preparing for the baby and when it is a newborn. NO WAY. Hell or high water, they are going back to their mothers. SS17 will be 18 anyway and If BM wont have them, then they will be homeless. DH has agreed. They have another parent that they can live with and it certainly will not be me dealing with their BS day in day out whilst navigating the needs of my first child.
If DH had not agreed to this, it would have been a marriage ender. The only way I cope with them is by knowing their is a clock on them going and having as little as possible to do with them. They don't give a rats about me. Why should I about them?
You need to have a serious word with your DH.
So why wait? Find the
So why wait? Find the nastiest killer shark attorney that you can, lock up all of the resources, and leave. Commit your life to countering the influence of the shallow and polluted gene pool you have spawned with and protecting your child from that poor choice.
Move now. Before the baby is born. That gets out from under the jurisdiction of the courts where he lives and puts you firmly in control of the situation before you need to battle out a move in court. Get back to where you have family and some support and never again settle for anyone who does not make you and the adult relationship their priority. Your DH's behavior is not that of a worthy equity life partner for you. His comment regarding you should not have married someone with hids... he is right... sadly. You particularly should not have married THIS person with kids. This person who has demonstrated that he is a parental waste of skin and far from a quality partner for you.
Good luck and congratulations on the baby.
I know exactly what you mean!
I'm due in 10 weeks and I can not stand being around my husband's youngest son. (I posted about it)
I have said those exact words to my husband...i don't want to come home. I feel your pain.
To be honest, there is a comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one feeling like this. Just keep venting here.