I can’t stand my boyfriends 13 year old son
I have been with my boyfriend since his kid was 5 he is now 13. His son and I used to get along great when he was little but around the time that he turned 8 I lost all respect for him and I can't seem to get it back. He is extremely disrespectful and never listens. I have always felt that my boyfriend is a huge pushover and lets him get away with everything with no consequences all he does is yell at him and then 15 minutes later he will be in there babying him! It's mind boggling to me. He's never even been grounded just has video games and his phone taken away but can still go do whatever else he feels like doing. I'm sorry but when I was growing up being grounded was awful and made me not want to get into trouble. But this kid constantly back talks and when you tell him to do something and he doesn't want to he will straight up say no. I always thought things would get better and maybe the father would step up and discipline but nothing has happened and I am at my breaking point. I almost left once due to a combination of the kid and the father but I didn't not two months later I am miserable and don't know what to do.
You were going to leave...but
You were going to leave...but didn't. Time to evaluate if that decision needs to be changed.
There are problems with your SO and his kid. Likely won't change. The only thing that can change, is you and your decisions.
Well, your BF is the problem
Well, your BF is the problem here, the kid is just behaving how he's allowed to behave. You've given it 8 years, how much longer will you give it? Your BF isn't going to change, and as a result, the kid will likely just get worse.
You do know what to do, it's
You do know what to do, it's just hard and scary.
You are 100% right and it's
You are 100% right and it's more then just the kid. He is not responsible with money and 2 years ago asked my mom if he could borrow $13k and did start paying her back until I found out about it last month. He owns his own business and is always busy there is no reason to need to borrow money other then he has a spending problem. It's hard because they live in my house and idk where they would / could go with him having bad credit and no money.
Where they would go is not
Where they would go is not your problem. Put yourself first this time and tell them to leave.
I can relate
I completely understand what you are going through. I initially had a good relationship with my SS and when he started puberty, everything changed. Three years later our family is constantly arguing about SS refusing to follow rules, generally being disrespectful and consequences do nothing to change his behavior. He actually acts out more. He has started to sneak out, does underage drinking while out and has been brought home by cops. He is the cause of many of our explosive arguments because I feel his dad is not doing enough to let him know this is not tolerated in our home. I try desperately to disengage from it but I am his primary caregiver while his dad works 3rd shift so I get to deal with his terrible behavior regularly trying to enforce rules to a teenage who doesn't care about consequences. Saying all of this, its my experience that if the dad won't change his approach immediately and really drive the family change, its not going to. You as a stepparent are a support only and if your partner and you are not on the same page, the stepchild will take full advantage. I would leave especially after 8 years. I dont see it changing for you. At least it hasn't for me. I know its not easy and I need to take my own advice.