I finally shut down on SS18 today....feeling a weight lifted
He has been such an ass for so long that today I snapped. Today he was an ass to me for the last time. He pissed me off again today, and I'd simply had enough. I'm always the one making the effort, being nice, trying to make him like me, blah, blah, blah, only to get little moments here and there from this little jerk -- like little tidbits and hanging onto them like they are gold.
He pissed me off to the point today that when I left the house today i was so pissed that I simply don't even want to talk to him anymore. I got home, and simply haven't talked to him. Dinner was ready -- I didn't even tell him. He told his Dad thank you for dinner -- I cooked the bloomin' dinner! I didn't even respond -- screw him!
When i talked to my counselor earlier in the week she said something that i remembered today, and she said to just talk to the kids in a monotone voice and not give them any emotion because they are looking for the reaction and the response -- to get my goat so to speak. So that is what I'm going to start doing. As far as going out of my way to do special things for him anymore -- not happening.
I'm simply done. He needs to move out -- it's time.
he's already graduated --
he's already graduated -- he's just failing to launch! he's been taking one class at the firestation that takes 1 1/2 days per week and then works part-time. i'm ready for him to go. he just bought himself a new (used) car to replace his piece of crap car. My DH won't do anything -- just let him make the decision on his own. He doesn't see what his son does. He kind of shrugs his shoulders about what his son does.
I went one even better -- one of my friends and I prayed together today, and I've been praying almost daily the last few days for him to move out. I'm believing its coming soon.
I found it very easy to ignore him last night. if he wants to be an ass -- he can be it and he's not getting any more special treatment from me. Why be nice to someone who is jut going to throw it in your face? DONE!
I have totally disengaged
I have totally disengaged from my lazy SS18 who is supposed to graduate from H.S. in a few months. I have already told his mom that the day that he goes to college is the day that I tear down his room, pack his crap and turn it into my office.
My Soon to be wife just had surgery last Thursday and he has not done anything, including eating since his mommy has not done it for him. I told her this morning that she should continue not to cook for him (this is due to him not eating anything I cook).
I told her that in 5 months when he goes to college is when our life really starts.
wow reading this i don't feel
wow reading this i don't feel so alone anymore, i agree with you !!! I just do my thing like noone is here, was very hard but getting easier !!! I also went on strike, so to say , cause i was the only one doing anything ! Not anymore !
I love the luggage as a gift for graduation !!
Last night he spent the night
Last night he spent the night at his sister's house -- SD22 -- she hates my guts. I felt nothing -- nothing at all. Before it would have bothered me that he was hanging out with her, or worried that he was lying that he was saying he was there, but really doing something else, blah blah blah. But last night i really didn't give a crap -- for the first time! it was great! I journaled a LOt of my feelings last night and I literally wrote 7 pages worth of verbal vomit and it felt good!!
I am praying diligently that he move out. I know God hears my prayers. If SS18 hates it so much here -- get out. Go live with your sister you pain in the ass. If it is so bad here -- get out! He literally has to do NOTHING here! I have him take out the garbage on occasion and empty the dishwasher. Yes he does his own laundry - but his food is taken care of and I take care of all the other housework. So as far as I'm concerned he is just a blood sucker and he can GO!
He constantly complains about the food I buy, bitches about my dog, yells at my dog, and is generally just miserable to be around. GO! I know that SD22 asked SD17 to move in with her so maybe she'll do the same thing with SS18. That would be fantastic. I am fine with that -- get out. They will realize that I'm not so bad once they are out. I have done so much for these brats and I'm tired and I'm done.
What sucks is that he is so
What sucks is that he is so hot and cold. one day he is an ass -- so I ignore him and give it back to him -- then he starts being nice again. What's up with that? Yesterday after i dished it back at him, he was back to talking to me and joking with me and my daughter -- and my daughter and my husband are like 'well, he's being nice today...." -- yah, and then when I let my guard down again, he's going to be an ass again, just like he always is. He is mean and sarcastic -- that is his norm. My DH even told me that people are always telling him that he is nice and a good kid. I looked at him and I said that is great -- that's so awesome that he is so nice to other people. I guess what you're saying to me DH is that I'm making this up and I'm over reacting. Thanks DH. I actually said that to my DH. I said I suppose you think I'm making up the stuff about SD22 too hmmm? Even though he is witnessed and heard her say the crap to me -- it's like he goes into this denial mode. What is up with that? Why can't these Dad's see their kids for who they really are?
It is driving me frickin' crazy! I have been having a harder time than normal lately with this whole thing --- and I know it has to do with the fact that SD22 had her baby, and the skids are going over there more often and I know that SD22 is bad mouthing me to anyone and everyone who will listen. I don't even know how to defend myself to that stuff. How in the world do I defend myself? The kids say they want to stay out of the middle of it, yet they are right in the middle of it because they go over there, they listen to her crap, and it's going into their head and whether they want to admit it or not it does affect how they feel about me.
SD17 barely even talks to me now. I hate being at my house anymore. I mean I literally HATE being here. HATE IT. And I don't know what to do anymore.