I am so happy to have found this site. My SD is 16. She stays every other weekend. My DH works away and comes back every other weekend and that's when we have SD. She has commitments galore so he drives her around to her commitments or hangs around the house with her. She has him by the balls for sure. I hate it. I want to love her I really do and I feel disgusted by the way I feel sometimes. I hate that I don't mean anything to her. I have known her since she was 9. I have learnt the hard way not to say anything to DH about her and vice versa because I get smudged out. I pick up her room, get her lunch ready, wash her clothes, drop her off pick her up. I never get a thanks. NEVER. It's like it's expected of me. Admittedly, I have done a lot of this to win her love and approval but it doesn't come. I read the article on disengagement and will do this. Have had to disengage from DH too as when he's home and I want him to myself he switches off. We have a 3 year old too BD. I think she sees me as a loser because her mum remarried a wealthy guy and she works PT. They travel 6 times a year and live in million dollar properties and we are the antithesis of that. She resents that I don't work and thinks that is why DH works away. There is no mention of her mum cleaning him out in the divorce which caused him to work away. There is no mention of her mum leaving him for another man and taking every thing from him. She sees me as the cause. I guess it's easier to blame the SP then face the reality of what her mum did. I hate that she doesn't think twice about back chatting me or arguing with me. Rolling her eyes. She does nothing to gain my approval or love. It doesn't matter to her and I hate that I don't matter.