Driven out of home by SD
This is just a vent, as there's really no advice that can be given or action I can take. The entire time my ex and I were together, her daughter (now 15) caused problems between us. She refused to do chores, cried when I prepared healthy meals -- because somehow serving vegetables meant I was calling her fat (she is morbidly obese and diabetic), and told me point blank one day, "Before you were here, I had all the power. My life mission is to get Mom to break up with you so I can have my power back."
Her mother didn't believe me, needless to say. Told me I just didn't understand teenage girls, and that a (then) 14 year old wouldn't say something like that. My ex kicked me out in November, but we maintained a friendship on account of her two sons (14 and 4). Over the months, she let me know she still had feelings for me but she "had other people's happiness to consider" besides her own. A couple weeks ago, she showed me a letter her daughter wrote to her and left on her bedside table months ago. Basically, she (SD) told her mom that if she didn't kick me out and get back with her ex-husband (not the two older kids' father, but they still refer to him as 'daddy'), that she would run away to live with him. The guy was never around, didn't pay child support on the youngest--who is his biological child--while I raised him from an infant to starting pre-school, and made their mom miserable the entire year they were married. He's a pathetic excuse for a man and a human, but now he's living in the house I built because of SD emotional blackmailing her mother.
My ex is miserable. She's even talked about reconciling after her daughter moves out. I still love her, but I honestly think if she wants me back, she should start by kicking her ex out and putting her daughter in her place. And that's not even touching on the miles of trust she destroyed by kicking me out.
The sad thing is, when she and I first got together, I had no children of my own and knew she was unable to have anymore children. I chose being a father to her children over having any of my own. And now neither of those are an option, all because one spoiled brat didn't like doing dishes.
I feel your pain. I do think
I feel your pain. I do think the relationship is over- she chose someone else over you- in this case, it was her daughter. You sound nice! There are a lot of fish in the sea.
Best of luck.
Holy crap dude this woman
Holy crap dude this woman thinks her bed will not even get cold because all she has to do is kick out some asshole and you'll jump right in?
Jesus what an insult - talk about sloppy seconds.
And you're keeping in touch? Dude man up. As other have said completely cut off all communication with this wh... I mean sad excuse of a woman. Block your cell - get help from your provider if needed, block her email and your social pages such as Facebook if any. Return to sender any snail mail and if you see her approaching you at work or home run the opposite direction.
Don't mourn this woman, the dreams you had sure, but not this woman. This is horrible.
^^^^^ LIKE X's
^^^^^ LIKE X's 100000000000000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree. What happens when
I agree. What happens when little miss "I run the WORLD" can't get away with her normal straight forward manipulations? She turns more sneaky and/or passive aggressive.
And mommy believes her every word? Good thing she didn't get mommy believing you were physically ABUSIVE to the little snowflake! That's something that could ruin your life forever.
The mother of this girl has little to no good character. Her daughter will be and is the same way. What you need is to find a woman with good character and a BACKBONE.
Yep--coming up next: stepdad
Yep--coming up next: stepdad ABUSED meeee!
She did him a huge fav by breaking up!!
Wow! In my case, Mr. Guilty
Wow! In my case, Mr. Guilty Daddy provided most of the labour for the gut rehab yet:
1. I was right there with him, swinging hammers, climbing around on the roof, scribing drywall etc.
2. I paid for 90% of the materials.
3. Mr. Guilty Daddy pays no rent or bills other than an occasional TV bill due to his massive CS.
4. He put me though hell and back dealing with the feral skids and BM
5. I do 99% of the cooking, cleaning, 100% of the secretarial, legal work
Still Mr. Guilty Daddy thinks he owns the house, is "king of the castle" and has threatened to do harm to me and burn the house down should I ever ask him to move out. He will be in the SAME financial situation for the next 10 years (CS ends at 21 in theory--the BM will no doubt try for CS beyond 21)
OH and he has one of those jobs where he's free wheeling in a company van and makes SEVERAL random, unannounced stops to the house during the day.
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^
What is it with these obese
What is it with these obese skids running the show? It's like they're throwing their weight around or something!
I truly understand as my
I truly understand as my story is very similar...I can't empathize with you enough.... My ex-fiance's daughter was always the problem...to make matters worse, she was born with a silver spoon and the money only made it worse. Ex-fiance spoiled her to where I had to leave 2 years ago because I was losing my mind. It was the hardest thing I had to do. We recently tried to reconcile late last year, but it was always the same issue. I was pretty much the only father in her life since ex's daughter was 5. Broke up with her a year later when child had a hissy fit at a wedding...she is now 14 and a complete mess. Her mother has emotional issues and did me a favor by ending the relationship for the final time a couple of months ago when I suspected she had another man in the picture. It hurts because it seemed we had something so good, but reality finally set in and I am no longer a part of the sick drama that unfolded from a very damaged woman and her daughter who will have problems for years to come.
Try to be grateful for this blessing...as another poster mentioned, these young kids can get away with anything these days when they grow up with no boundaries. As a male, it always scared me that the daughter would make some baseless accusation and ruin my life. To every guy out there, you know its a scary feeling. All in all...just a horrible situation I held on for too long because I gave them both a lot of love. But, I was the bod cop while mom spoiled her and never corrected her behavior, etc....Frankly, I wish I would have gotten out sooner and never tried to reconcile.
Count your blessings and be glad to get away from this trauma and drama. When you look back, you will be grateful. Now you can find someone that doesn't have the baggage or at least not this type of issue. It certainly was a very painful experience and a long 9 years. Don't let it take you that long my friend. Be at peace, grieve the loss, and start life fresh. New beginnings.
There are other fish in the
There are other fish in the sea. Time to move on.
To make things clear, the
To make things clear, the ex-husband moved into the guest room. He moved in to help with the kids and bills. Of course, he doesn't do either of those things; he's there because the SD wants him there. Last I talked to BM, she was crying and said, "I've given my kids everything, and they have no gratitude. No more. It's absolutely stupid that I let them push a good man out of my life to make room for a useless one. I'm going to make this right, and if anyone doesn't like it they can leave." To which I said, "You know I'm not coming back, right?"
When I was a teenager, a friend of mine's sister did accuse her SD of abuse (not sexual), so I have seen how, even when everyone knows the truth, the simple allegation can ruin lives, and I'm thankful things didn't get that far.
The thing is, I built and maintain a good relationship with her sons. I'm the only father figure either of them have ever had, and I can't turn my back on them. On the rare instances I do get sentimental, I still have on my cell the text SD sent me two days after I moved out. It simply says, "Game over", and that says it all.
Similar situation in so many
Similar situation in so many ways...but I got one of those txt's from the sd too; It read "HaHa...ur never coming back here again" I told her to stop contacting me...she replies "I know I'm hot and all, why are you txting a 14 year old?" Then I just txt'ed her mother to tell her stop contacting me. Talk about scary for guy who was the only father in her life.
Sad part is this happened only after a couple of weeks I talked to her for 2 hours on the phone when she called to tell me her mom was flipping out on her about how she was depressed and her mom didn't believe her. Toxic drama. So glad I'm away from it all now. Been moved awhile.
But then one more a month later..."HaHa...mom has moved on" just a couple of weeks after I last saw her. All of 14...thank God I got out and finally its over.