DH and BM giving SD19 joint b'day gift/ card ?!?!!! Me and half siblings excluded from her event as usual
Soooo....... Please can I have some thoughts in this one....
SD19 is having a birthday dinner at a restaurant tonight with BM, grandma, her fiancé (yes she is engaged AND pregnant with first child - announced she was pregnant the day I gave birth to her half-sister......what a surprise, not!) and yes DH is going without us. I didn't get an invitation nor did her half siblings..... Never mind, I expected that and would not like to go, no way nor would I want my kids there.
Issue for me is this..... BM had a huge fit when DH told her that he is giving a gift and card from all of his, i.e, from HIS family. BM wouldn't have this, saying "she (that being me.... She rarely calls my by my name!) has insinuated herself in all Sd19's events. No I will not have it put in Sophie's face in her special day. Just shows me how self interested she is".
And that's the kinda stud BM says ALL the time.... As well as many many "you do this and we will never speak again or if you do that you'll never see your daughter again". Oh and guess what, sd19 talks just like her mom!!
My DH said to her "no, separate gifts and cards are in order."
What is your take on this? Is this kinda situation something that sounds familiar to you? Entitled behaviour?!
%[#{#}%{^{^]%!!!!! With lack of other words.
Don't you want to have
Don't you want to have nothing to do with this kid? Well then have nothing to do with her.
First, Sophie is 19yrs
First, Sophie is 19yrs old...she doesn't need her BM's permission to 'see' her father and/or have a relationship with him and his family. Two, why are BM/DH giving a joint gift and card?
" "you do this and we will never speak again ". LOL. Oh, please. Please BM, never speak to 'me' again.
Seriously, why would you want your name on a card from a spoilt brat that didn't even invite you to her 'special day'? And I certainly hope you reply isn't because you chipped in your own money into purchasing said gift. Keep your finances separate. That way when DH is stupid enough to keep pretending he and BM are a married couple, you'll not resent it so much.
Your BM sounds like a real handful and your DH a wimp...you have my condolences.
Exactly .... "Sd19 is 19yrs
Exactly .... "Sd19 is 19yrs old...she doesn't need her BM's permission to 'see' her father and/or have a relationship with him and his family"!! But what BM means is that she will MAKE SURE that her daughter won't WANT to have a relationship with her father.... Which she is succeeding at anyway just by being herself..... No but of course that is all MY fault, the mean ol' step mama, ooh please. It's not me who used to call her daughter 10000000000 times a minute when she used to come around to ours and make her feel like our home was a bad place, it's not me who keeps telling DH what a terrible , selfish fraud of a dad he is..... Is not me who used names like idiot, bitch and fraud instead of "dad" and "stepmoms name" . It's not me who blames "her dad's situation over there" for being the reason her precious sd19 can't have the newest this and the latest that and go to private schools and live by the motto "spend and god will provide". It's not me who has never had a job in my life and lived happily on others money..... The list goes on and on..... And to think I have , for years, almost bent backwards for this woman and sd who acts EXCTLY the same? !?!? Co-dependent me I know..... And I just wanted this innocent girl (not so innocent anymore) to be happy
No more giving in a "relationship" that does not include me!!!
Haha thanks all, I will not
Haha thanks all, I will not defend DH or even myself for being so foolish, all of you are absolutely correct! In fact I told DH to get a new card and sign it himself. He did end up telling BM that NOTHING will be "joint" between them anymore, so she could F off. What a relieeeeef after the last 7 years off .....wimp would be an overstatement!! I also said that I was very wrong in letting our 5 year old to sign the card..... I want to teach him to have respect, NOT to suck up to others drama and entitled behaviours. I feel sad for him, he adores his older sister..... She has her sweet sides, but just a tad too much like her momma!!!
See we used to try that but
See we used to try that but her answer was always something like "no thanks having a party at home/seeing friend/going away" etc.... And I'm pretty much in process of disengaging.....
Mmmm are you sure you're not
Mmmm are you sure you're not reacting to the BM instead of the kid? Just sayin.......
Yes I think you're right....
Yes I think you're right.... It's just hard to tell the difference between the two these days with what they and do.
I would completely erase her
I would completely erase her from your lives. She would never be allowed to go to your home, and niether would her spawn.
Since your kids are not allowed to be around her, then her kid will certainly not be allowed around you and your kids, including in your home.
What a nightmare! Hope that her fiance knows that sd and the newbaby are a "package deal" for life. A true golden uterus.
"A true golden uterus" for
"A true golden uterus" for sure hahahaha!! Oh indeed he already says he wants 6 kids with her!!!!! Haha GOOD LUCK to him! They can't take care of themselves - they live with her mom! Wait until they have a baby...... This will be interesting indeed.
If my SO attended SD's
If my SO attended SD's birthday party without me, I'd kick him so hard in the balls he wouldn't be able to walk for a week. Then I'd pack his shit and ship him off to live with either SD or BM or both. Screw THAT nonsense.
He did this to me at the beginning of our relationship when I didn't have a clue. STalk helped me understand why I was so damned hurt and feeling like an insignificant piece of shit. I now understand that my feelings were right and after counselling, he has agreed to never, ever do tht to me again.
Seriously, that would do my head in if he did that. Not only is it highly inappropriate, but it undermines your relationship and only causes heartache and stress. Different story if everyone got along wonderfully, but if that were the case, then we probably woudn't be blogging on here to save our sanity.
Boundaries and respect are so very important to step families. If SD has no respect for you, then your DH as your husband should support you and also refuse to attend. He will also be sending a message to all the kids that you are a united front and need to be respected and treated as such.
Amen!!
Amen!!