BM and Teenage SS are killing me.
Argh,
Partner and I had to make a tough decision and ask 17yo SS to move out and live with his BM as he will not follow our rules at all. This has been going on for two years and partner finally snapped at him and said he could not take it any longer.
- Refuses to go to school (he only has to go 2.5 days per week)
- Won't clean up after himself and leaves things EVERYWHERE
- Won't get a job but always on our case for money and has major breakdowns when he doesn't get it or things don't go his way
Now, he never had a relationship with BM as she's quite narcissistic and he stayed away. The past week, he has been at her place on and off and coming back to our place relaying messages to us from her and pushing the point. He tells us mum is broke and can't afford petrol, electricity, food etc for the children and that it is up to US to fix that problem. Umm, we pay child support and a lot of it too. She also refuses to work because it's easier for her to just have income from other avenues. Why is it our problem when she spends all the money on hair-dos and expensive clothing rather than looking after her own children. This has been an ongoing issue with her for years. She is constantly broke and is always looking for a handout.
The latest is that she has met someone off the net and she will be seeing him for the first time, so she has 17yo ss tell us we have to take the other two kids for 10 days while she has her holiday. We both work 5 days per week and start at 7.30am. it would have been fine if she didn't pull them out of the schools they were enrolled in before (close to our house) ...she has now put them into private schooling and is already whinging that she can't afford that either. THEY WERE FINE WHERE THEY WERE! but when partner tried to argue it, she told him he had no idea about what's right for a child's education. (well, he finished school and went to college... she never did? I think he knows a bit more than she does.)
We had the children full time while she worked and never got a cent. She never wanted to see them then... but now that she has zero dollars, she wants her children back so that we pay more and more.
She has also been telling the 17yo to tell us how to parent the children etc. Partner asked him to STOP and respect him as a parent and the 17yo kept pushing and pushing. He also contributes ZERO to society but believes he is an adult who can be involved in adult conversations and decisions.
WTF... BM and SS are completely unhinged! I don't even think I've scratched the surface with this massive rant...
So Daddy met his limit and
So Daddy met his limit and tossed him out. Good. It shows the boy there are some consequences even if they're not earth shattering so far. Meanwhile insure that your husband doesn't start handing over more money or takes the kid back. Either will make things worse as it will entrench his reputation is a push over.
Threaten to leave if necessary and do so for what would hopefully be a temporary separation while he sees the light if necessary.
Most of the complaints about money are fabricated as she just wants to have more fun money so don't let him fall for that and as for taking the kids for 10 days so she can go on a vacation he would have to be very foolish to do so. First the 17yo would come along with the deal I assume and second she'll soon start asking for more and more "time off" from the kids. These type of people do not self-restrain. Either he does it or its endless.
I would cancel any visitations the kids have over the weekends or holidays just prior to her leaving on this holiday for fear she would just not accept them back until she's back home. Use illness as an excuse, bad flue cases taking both of you down for at least a week.