Yet another fight over sd. Even on my days off, I don't get any peace. the new boyfriend that lives down the street from us dumped her. She wanted to go home and has no interest to be here now, wonder why? Poor daddy though she came to see him, lol as if, 

I had to remind her on fathers day to at least say happy fathers day or draw a card. She drew a card with a big heart with " thanks for all you give me, I appreciate it"!  It Didn't matter that she has money in her room and could have walked five minutes to the store. 

He just got his 5000 dollars visa so he drags me around shopping with him. We get into the grocery store he starts filling the cart with everything the sd wanted, I picked up a powered can of juice and he said, I'm not buying that because I don't know if sd will like it! I replied, "I like it " His response " I'm not buying that for 16 dollars if I don't know if sd will like it " I just followed him around the grocery store watching him fill the cart with everything sd wanted. I told him a few days ago I need a phone card so what does he do? He goes out and buys him and sd one and as per usual he didn't get me one! We went out later that night to supper at my sister's and he runs back into the house and grabs my debit card from my desk passes it to me and says Oh, you forgot your debit card! I was pissed because I'm usually the one buying him and sd one and he couldn't offer to pay for mine? of course, He knew I was pissy and he said oh, ill get dessert, ya, that big of him to offer to pay ten dollars, isn't it? I said, never mind and I bought it! 

Sitting around here on my day off of course he wouldn't offer to take me out and spend anything on me. he'd be ok to go anywhere as long as I'm paying that is. I've been with the man for seven years and he has never once bought me flowers, taken me out even for a fast food meal, paid for a weekend getaway, or even bought me ice cream. It's always me who pays if I want to go anywhere.

He'd never offer to pay but would give the shirt off his back and watch me do without to make sure the sd gets everything she wants and needs, If I want to go do something I have to pay for him, the kid, and myself. Who wants to be with a man that won't do anything special or make you feel special. everything is about the kid it makes me sick to my stomach. It pisses me off even more than my credit card is maxed out and I haven't even spent 20 dollars on myself it was to fix his car, etc. ( that he doesn't have anymore)

Were in a big fight again today, he send me 200 to cover his tobacco from his credit card. That was nice just to cover his smokes the idiot wouldn't go out of his way to cover mine. I guess, he doesn't take into consideration I've been paying for his for years.

I told him I wanted to go out but he would drive me ( i don't drive ) He take me to value village and I know, he wouldn't offer to pay for the few cheap items I would have gotten. I just told him never mind, I'm already into overdraft for my next pay. I told him he doesn't give or do anything for me to make me feel special or to try and make me happy, and he wouldn't spend a damn dime of his money on me because that would be a waste of money. Told him maybe you should take your mini-wife and leave because you sure in hell know how to treat that lady but have no clue how to treat me, I told him who wants to be intimate with a man that wouldn't even buy you a 6 dollar ice cream?!? I took his 200 dollars for his tobacco and went out and played the video machine and went out to lunch myself. Of course, I walked. It's funny isn't it how I pay for the car, the insurance, the gas, and the upkeep, and I'm the walking while him and his mini-wife get driven around.? I don't even have the extra money to get my license. I'm just paying for a car for him and the sd @ss to be driven everywhere. 

Of course, he told me he doesn't have to buy me everything he buys sd. I laughed at him YOU DONT BUY ME ANYTHING OR DO ANYTHING FOR ME, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SICK IN THE HEAD NOT ME" of course, twist it all around that I'm immature and jealous of a child and I need professional help. I asked him again to leave and take his mini-wife with him he will not go!. I figure from now on screw the car payment, the mortgage, the groceries, and everything. if he wants to keep a roof over his and his mini-wife's head he can pay for it, he can pay for all her junk food and special meals he caters into her room, he can pay for his own car to drive her @ss all over the place, and ill ruin my credit to get out of this shit hole...Starting today I am spending money on things I need, a haircut, new clothes, shoes, dinners out, and if he can't pay for everything himself then they can reprocess everything. I'm gonna go out and live my life for me and be as selfish as he is. I mean, after all, they don't appreciate what I do without making sure they have. The idiot even told me ' WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE FOR ME OR MY CHILD" I looked at him really, I don't even have a license and I'm paying for a car that drives me to my sisters for supper once a week The car just drives sd and you around, not me. I don't have any children so why do I owe a 3-bedroom house with a big backyard? Oh, yes I'm selfish and I only think of myself. The guy has no clue and doesn't appreciate anything it's just expected. 

Oh well, looks like him and sd are gonna start living my life. You don't pay for the car the bank can take it, you don't pay for the house the bank can take that to, and all my money is going to be spent on me. he can run his credit card up to keep it all he already run mine up. I'm done if I need to ruin my credit to get rid of them it looks like that is what I have to do. I might claim bankruptcy and let the bank take it all thanks for letting me vent here i feel so stuck i just want my house and them out