13yo sd searching disturbing topics on youtube
on a whim I checked the search history on my sd's phone tonight. what I found had me shaking and quite upset. now I know kids this age are curious about sex and the searches started out fairly tame like boys kissing girls, tongue kissing, etc. but soon she began searching for disturbing topics such as boys raping girls, sex with doctor, sibling sex, torture sex, punishment sex, teacher and student sex... I obviously took her phone away and she is not to have any internet access for the foreseeable future. I tried to talk to her about it but I was in shock and so disgusted I couldn't wrap my head around this to have a meaningful conversation. her dad wasn't home at the time but I will have to tell him tomorrow when he gets home from work. has anyone dealt with anything remotely close to this? am I overreacting? kids are growing up so much faster than when I was young (I'm 37 so a teen before internet) I don't know what's "normal" anymore. how do i approach this with sd? i don't know what the point of this is or if anyone will even respond. i'd probably nope my way out of a post like this so i'll understand if most of you do the same
I was with you right you
I was with you right you until your last paragraph. I will worry about this and will not "wash my hands of it". We have other children in the house and I can not have her discussing these nasty things with them or sharing her search results.
Her father does not internet
Her father does not internet and her mother is out of the picture. She may not be my bio kid but she is my daughter. She is also a child so I will "snoop" whenever I want to protect her from herself. As I said I will tell her father about what I found and let him lead on how to handle it but I will not just ignore this because I didn't give birth to her.
Echo: validation or approval
Echo: validation or approval it would seem. Neither of which any of us can give.
I disagree with everyone who
I disagree with everyone who says it's none of your business and you should stay out of it. She lives in your house, your husband (and ultimately, you) are responsible for her, and you have other kids in the house. And you care about her.
Talk to your husband and then the two of you talk to her.
It is normal for teenagers to be curious about and to look up weird stuff, and even think weird stuff, yet never act on it, so I wouldn't be accusatory or shame her. At the same time, you don't want her doing something stupid, like making contact with some pervert. She needs to be aware of the dangers out there.
I grew up as a teen with the
I grew up as a teen with the internet and I don't think it's a huge deal. It's easy for one thing to lead to another on the internet. "Interested in boys and girls kissing? You may also be interested in this..." Also I think kids have to explore the deviant side of sexuality. They hear this and that from friends and a lot of it doesn't make sense.
I remember when my 13 year old brother asked me how a condom worked. I told him since I was 15 and he was horrified because he thought the condoms were for the girls. He decided to search it online to verify and my parents busted him watching some kind of porn involving food, multiple partners and " some kind of work out contraption" as my mom put it. lol
I would say that adjusting
I would say that adjusting for the availability of porn and sex topics that is prevalent today your SD-13 is not doing anything that many have not done throughout the history of teens. Rather than sneaking mom and dad's Playboy/Playgirl/Penthouse/etc... issues from their hiding place and scoping them out with a flashlight while hiding in a closet anyone with a web enabled device regardless of their age can access far more information on this topic than those of us who were preteens and teens in the pre-internet age in a split second of two.
Rather than punishing the young woman for natural curiosities I would suggest that you and dad sit her down for a adult to kid talk on sex, relationships, etc... and start to pollenate her on healthy sexual curiosity and on being a sexual being within a mutually respectful relationship.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.