Hello,
I will try to keep this as short as possible, but I would like to explain my situation and hope to receive feedback. First, I am extremely glad to have found this site. I no longer feel alone and know there are many others with similar issues. I am 32 and have a bio son 14. He is a freshman in high school. 2yrs ago, I starting dating a man who is 11yrs older than me who is divorced and has 2 teenage boys of his own. One is my sons age and the other is 16. WHen we began dating, him and his ex-wife were still living in the same house. She had a boyfriend who would spend time there as well. I was not comfortable with the situation, but did give him a chance. He was paying 100% of all the house bills and paid for all extra activities his boys wanted to do. As our relationship started to progress, I became more and more uncomfortable. I couldn't understand how he could continue to support his ex-wife, but he kept saying it was for the kids and he couldn't get her name off of the mortgage. After 7months of dating, I lost my job. Him and both of his boys moved in with me in July. He left the house and put it up for short sale. She had no where to go and could not afford the bills on her own, so she moved in with her bf of 3months. He has a 6yr old daughter and only has a 2 bedroom house. My bf took her back to court since the kids were living with us 5 days a week and he lost. The judge said he had to follow their divorce decree from 2008 and the parenting schedule they agreed to. In the mean time, the boys are sleeping on an air mattress on her living room floor. In the beginning she was nice, but about a month after they moved in, she started showing her true colors. She would talk about my home and me to her children and in front of my son. I would confront her by email and she would show the kids. Since my bf paid for everything, she still expects him to pay and feels she can dictate what he is going to do and not going to do. He pays child support, health insurance, tuition for both boys, and extras as well. We try to provide a nice home for everyone, but it's progressively getting worse. My everyday life is being affected because she doesn't want to be a mother, she just wants to control my BF. BF says he doesn't want to punish his kids for her, but can not afford certain things. He will over extend himself to pay her portion just so he doesn't have to hear the kids say anything. It's one big mess and I do not know how much longer I can take it. I am ready to pack up and leave my own house. My sons father is not in his life and I plan to keep it that way due to his addiction. I have told my BF how I feel and he says he agrees on many of my points, but won't punish his kids for her lack of human being. She is more of a mother to her BF's daughter, than she is to her own kids. SS16 has said he wanted to live with us, but it has caused more drama with his mother. I just don't know how much longer I can continue to try and hold on. I do love him and he is a good guy to both me and my son, but there is always an issue ranging from money to pick-up/drop off times to parenting schedule. SHe manipulates both the SSkids and BF. When she doesn't get her way, she starts screaming and crying like a little kid. BF says it's easy to give her what she wants, than listen to it. If someone could please give me advice, I would greatly appreciate it.