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Guy's perspective please

Mojo78's picture

Submitted by Mojo78 on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 4:25am

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Step/Bio Father's Den

I have jealousy issues over my SD7 - I have had to tell my partner because it was becoming obvious. The short of it is that I think I see her as a threat (although I know she isn't) and I feel like I can't bear her to hug or kiss him, I have to leave the room. I feel like we are competing for his attention Sad

He has no one to talk to. He wants us to work and loves me dearly but he now has niggling worries that I may be horrible to her. I do feel bad feelings towards her because of whats happening inside me(when it is happening that is) but I would NEVER and have never been horrible to her. She is just a kid. I do everything for her even though it is a strain sometimes.

How can I reassure him? How would you feel if your partner had these issues? Will i Lose him?

Son of Man's picture

Submitted by Son of Man on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:48pm

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. My girlfriend is in a similar situation as yourself. Though I have yet to see my son (still going through CS, visitation, etc.) the whole situation weights heavy on her and she is constant thinking about leaving. She is worried that she will come to resent my son, but I don't blame her. Instead of directing that frustration at the real person that is causing her unhappiness (me), she is directing it elsewhere. In my opinion, having certain undesirable feelings are fine. You're human, in a very difficult situation. Maybe, things might be better if he understands where you are coming from. For instance, what issues are making you feel jealous and do you think he can help you overcome that feeling by making the situation better? Obviously you are are not going to act on every feeling. But you should be able to express your feelings and have them understood. And he should do his part to make you feel comfortable too.

Person66's picture

Submitted by Person66 on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 3:01pm

You're jealous of a 7 year old! :jawdrop:

Do you have no maternal instincts.
There is no reason to resent this little girl.
There is also no reason to be ashamed of getting professional help.
I can assure you, she is no threat.

What did you think of her before you got married?
I don't mean to make you feel bad, but I keep seeing parents putting their love lives ahead of the needs of children and that's not right!

-Tom