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Gift pick up options

Fed Up after 14 Years's picture

Submitted by Fed Up after 14... on Mon, 01/07/2019 - 3:48pm

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Step-Grandparents

How long would you wait for the "gift pick up"? SS37 has not showed his face at our house since way before his wife left him, but I suspect he is now dreading a visit. 

Last year we took our Christmas gifts for gskids to the nursing home where my MIL lives 10 days prior to Christmas and did not see anyone after that. DHs birthday is the 26th but the skids ignore it.

This year SD35?, came with her husband and 5 year old for Christmas eve supper and it was nice. SS37 has a job with weird hours and 3 kids by 2 mommas on top of hating me, so he has not made a visit, only excuses. I haven't seen him face to face since baby momma 2 left...with the new baby by the new guy.

What is a reasonable time to keep the gifts without reminding him? I could probably get baby momma 2 to come and get them. Would you use that option?

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Mon, 01/07/2019 - 5:30pm

We never know when YSD will come with the kids, but we do know that sometime they will arrive. This year she called on the 30th of December and said they'd be here in a half hour. Last year they came on January 15th. One year, it was in February. The Christmas gifts are wrapped, and they get them, when they get them. We can rely on them showing up before Spring.

OSD we haven't seen on a holiday in years. DH stopped buying gifts. 

I wouldn't get involved with BMs. SS knows you buy the kids gifts. DH can remind him to pick up the gifts, by himself or with the kids, if he chooses.

 

 

 

fairyo's picture

Submitted by fairyo on Mon, 01/07/2019 - 5:35pm

I have hung onto Christmas gifts for months after the day- I once bought some chocolates and eventually ate them myself! Just wait for them to turn up and say- 'Hay- Merry Christmas!' Even if it's July lol!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 01/07/2019 - 5:52pm

My SS19 is basically alienated, whenever he shows up, he gets any gifts that were bought and never given. He got 2017 Christmas gifts in August of 2018. Who knows when he will get 2018's.  At least he's not the greedy type who shows up for gifts.

 

disrestep's picture

Submitted by disrestep on Tue, 01/08/2019 - 7:24am

Since SS hates you, why even bother wasting time, money and effort on him picking up his gifts? I wouldn't lift a finger for gifts for someone who hates me, even if they are all for gskids.

why not ask your SO to give SS a date to which he is to get the gifts and if he doesn't make that date the gifts will be donated, given to someone else or sold. 

ss has been given long enough to complete his gift grab.

 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 01/08/2019 - 9:18am

We just stopped participating in the gift "exchange" (no exchange, just DH and me giving). It is very stress free.

But, you have already bought for the grand kids, I take it, so if you are okay with the BM coming to get them, do that.