article about gift buying

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Just wondering what everyone thinks of this:

https://uk.yahoo.com/style/mum-kickstarts-debate-online-whether-grandpar...

Sorry in advance if it doesn't work I've never done this before

well..... they do not have to

well..... they do not have to by any child anything..... and I do not think the mother has a point,

who's fault is it that her daughter has no contact with the paternal grand parents or maternal grand parents for that matter..

nope sorry the step grand does not have to buy her anything, seems like woman is GUBM who thinks her daughter is a poor COD and every one needs to buy her gifts and dote on her... bulltwang I say

This mother of a COD always

This mother of a COD always thinks her child is owed.
The child must get. Gimme, gimme, gimme!

The grandparents have no right to decide who they give to. It must include the stepchild!
It is fine if her own parents ignore their own grandchild, but if step-grandparents do the very same thing there is hell to pay.
This mother has a double standard and wants to sponge off people who care about their own flesh and blood.

No wonder people sometimes hate their stepkids. One needs only look at the disgusting mothers to see why.

I don't think I have an

I don't think I have an opinion one way or the other. As a stepgrandmother I have always seen it as DH's place to buy the pressies- at the start of the relationship I made an effort but then saw how much those kids got for birthdays and Christmas and why would they want a meagre offering from me? I buy modest gifts for my own grandkids as their parents say they have enough, and they do.
I only posted it because it came up in my newsfeed (strange in itself!) and I've never shared an article before.
I think any adult who is insensitive to the real needs of their grandkids and refuses to get the stepchild a gift is showing a certain kind of meanness, but why go overboard in the first place?

it's not all her children....

it's not all her children.... the grand parents showers their bio grand children with gifts.....

why should the grand parents suddenly stop what they've been doing for years? I know I would've told SO to take a hike if he ever complained because my parents spoil my kid rotten and never gave Aergia gifts.... but then again if we went to SO's parents they never gave to my son.. I never found it to be wrong

I wonder if the situation

I wonder if the situation were reversed if she would care. If her parents were buying presents only for her daughter...would she be upset with them? Her daughter has grandparents, right? Where are they?

Kids can understand complicated relationships a lot more than we give them credit for. No need to baby or demand a certain kind of treatment from everyone. The grandparents are free agents who can act as they choose...and have no obligation to her child.

This is the dilemma my mom

This is the dilemma my mom has. She doesn't know what to get for my SD(17) but she loves bargain shopping and getting things for my DD5. I have extended family nearby who will buy DD gifts.

SD17 doesn't have contact with her mom (whose been in and out of jail the past 5 years) nor any contact with members of her mom's family. So far no gifts have been sent but as far I know her mom currently out of jail.

DH's mom (SD's paternal grandmother) doesn't buy a lot of gifts. His family are immigrants from SE Asia and aren't really into a highly commercialized Christmas.Gifts in his family are to reward achievement or hardwork at school, not just piles of gifts on Christmas.

I hate wasting money on junk SD isn't going to use. My mom doesn't have money to waste on her. But I know she will buy something SD won't use and won't want. I've told my mom if she's going to get anything, get a gift card but that doesn't really balance things out since I know DD is going to have some bigger items around the tree.

SD has had two in-school suspensions so far this school year, so rewarding her isn't something DH wants to do by giving her gift cards. I know it looks like DH favors DD and SD will complain that DD got so much more than she did. But DH absolutely won't waste money on things SD won't use. It's so impossible to buy her anything. And again she's going to be whining and complaining all Christmas. My mom is hosting Christmas dinner, but I'm pretty sure what we'll end up doing is DD and I going to my mom's and DH staying home with SD. I hate that SD always ruins Christmas for DD.

I'm sorry that Christmas is

I'm sorry that Christmas is such a time of conflict for you- I wrote this last year when I was also conflicted after 9 years of being with TheX- last year we had Christmas completely on our own- just me and him; our relationship was going downhill rapidly and doing this did not help. DH only ever really wanted to be with his family- not with me.

Now he has them, but I doubt they will invite him over for Christmas lunch as this is BM's prerogative. I think he will spend a lonely Christmas mostly by himself. How sad.

I don't see why your mum buys for SD- except that if she goes there for Christmas day I can understand a small gesture may be in order.

I think it is hard for your SD, if her family doesn't support her in the way yours supports you, and I can see your mom is a very caring person who likes to buy gifts- but the gifts are not everything- maybe getting SD to help with preparing decorations etc might make her feel more valued. Kids can see through the present thing- they often want presence too- but her own family don't provide this. This is DH's place, and if he has put her on the back burner too I don't know what can be done. Maybe just tell him how you feel?

I hope you have a peaceful Christmas at least.

For anyone else reading this who remembers her- I miss Acratopotes- hope she's having a great time with a wonderful new man and no steps!! Let us know Acrat- we miss you!

I miss Acratopotes too! And

I miss Acratopotes too! And LadyFace! There are quite a few old members I miss hearing from, before the "purge" happened and people got deleted. If any of you are still on here under new names, send me a message :-)

My parents accepted my SKid

My parents accepted my SKid immediately as a full GK. Though he isn’t their first, he is their eldest GK. They met my bride and the SKid a month after we started dating.

Mom and dad were visiting for the Holidays. I brought my then GF and her son to my condo to meet my parents. Both dad and the kid had killer colds and were miserable. The kid walked in the front door, stopped, surveyed the new people and immediately walked across the room and got in my dad’s lap. They spent the day like that being miserable and blowing their noses together. SS-26 was ~16mos old.

My niece was born two months later. 6 months after she was born my bride and I married.

My parents have never differentiated between my SS and my brothers BKs. When SS asked me to adopt him, my parents were in the court house with us when the Judge signed the order. That was 4 years ago.

Though our GP situation is a

Though our GP situation is a good one, I recognize that it is my parent’s choice that makes it work.

I don’t necessarily fault the GPs in the article for how they deal with it. There are a lot of variables in the blended family world.

I agree with Rags, there are

I agree with Rags, there are so many variables.

My family has always treated SD the same as BS, although I know sometimes it's hard for them because she talks about her mother a lot when they're around. I know they feel bad for me sometimes because they see how much effort I put into her and how little I get back. But they try to treat them the same.

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article about gift buying