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its our weekend again-hurray.

treetopannie's picture

Submitted by treetopannie on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 12:23pm

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Parenting Issues

Wow. I am so glad I can vent here. So the stepkids are coming this weekend and I spend the 48 hours before they come just basically freaking out. They have SO MANY ISSUES - so I try to prevent or minimize the impact on our household. I don't know what stresses me out more. The energy and time I spend trying to prevent drama or the failure to plan ahead and just having to deal with the resulting fallout. I do feel more in control when I prevent rather than pick up the pieces or deal with surprises. But either way it's more than a notion. Argh! Generally when they're not here, our household runs smoothly and its pretty peaceful. When they're here it's chaotic, noisier, and one dramatic episode after another. I just want my peaceful house back!

MarriedwithChild's picture

Submitted by MarriedwithChild on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 2:51pm

I "feel" your pain...trust me. That's why I am sitting here with a bottle of wine waiting for 6PM- UGH

Not much help right now but keep your chin up.

treetopannie's picture

Submitted by treetopannie on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 4:29pm

LOL
You know it! I'll be cracking open a bottle myself b4 this wknd is thru! Now's the time I wish I hadn't quit smoking. Dirol

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 4:22pm

Can you go somewhere yourself? Friends? Family?

Don't stress yourself out over the kids, it's not worth it. They are not your children so you have no responsibility to them, since this obviously upsets you.

Find a good friend and a bottle of wine and let DH handle the kids this weekend.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

treetopannie's picture

Submitted by treetopannie on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 4:33pm

Currently can't go anywhere ...we're in middle of a blizzard. But you're right, I need to make effort to not be here when possible. Becuase of our schedules, I am the one who picks them up when its our weekend, and truth be told, even when you go somewhere, you still have to come back home eventually! Smile but it sure is nice to get a break.

fedup315's picture

Submitted by fedup315 on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 4:45pm

I feel like such a bitch for feeling the same way about my ss13... I literally can't stand him. He makes himself at home here..we live a whole lot differently than BM and acts like he is the king gracing us with his brief appearances... although he has a room and a queen sized bedm he takes up residentcy on our living room couch... feet on the couch, soda cans all around. He goes in our fridge and cupboards like he is on a mission ( which he probably is ) to see what we have yet when I serve him a perfectly good meal, he picks at it like it's poison. MAybe because it isn't from a box or microwaved he doesn't know what it is? I don't know and frankly I don't care. I hate it when he is here... HE is so fake with the hugs and bullshit, meanwhile when he isn't here for two weeks at a time, he never calls DH

oceangirl3's picture

Submitted by oceangirl3 on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 2:27pm

This sounds like a spitting image of my sd10. She does the same exact things when she is here and it drives me absolutely mad! It is really taking its toll on my relationship with her father. He won't step up to the plate and be the parent to her. I am not and quite frankly I'm sick of having to be the parent to her because he won't and her mother is too selfish to be one to her!!!!

treetopannie's picture

Submitted by treetopannie on Fri, 02/05/2010 - 4:46pm

and why are they so LOUD and OUT OF CONTROL! I literally have to wear a whistle around my neck to get their attn.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 10:15am

Yep...On the rare instances when my bf's daughter goes to her mom's, the peace around the house is complete serenity...when she returns you can already hear the screaming and chaos as she walks to door. I find myself "living" for the peace and quiet when she is not there (which is very rarely). Boo for me I guess! LOL

Rebel78's picture

Submitted by Rebel78 on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 1:05pm

I don't mean for this to sound harsh...but did you all start out feeling this way? Like I know that older kids can be way different than my SO's youngsters (2 1/2 and almost 4) but I really never want to be so negative about the kids...

It seems odd that wouldn't you know ahead of time that you had the kid(s) EOW, etc.? And if you don't like the kid(s) why would you choose to get married/move in together etc?

Again - I know that it could sound like I'm being harsh/antagonistic/judging - but I'm not at all...really asking the questions because to be honest the more I read posts on here the more scared I get...