Actually I don't need help with the fact that the boy has ADHD. It's been diagnosed a few years ago when he started school and they (my BF and the boys BM) are working on finding the right meds for him and getting it straight. What I have an issue with is that on the weekends we have the boy my BF doesn't like to give his son his meds.

Don't get me wrong, I like the boy on or off the meds and I don't advocate medicating kids for ADHD but this kid really needs it or at least needs to be totally off or totally on the meds. I know alot of kids misdiagnosed as having ADHD or those that have it and really don't need to be medicated, but this kid really does, especially on school days. The problem I have with Dad not giving it to him when he has him is I've seen the mood swings and what it does to the kid.

If the boy doesn't have his meds for a day or two he is off the walls...very loud, obnoxious, rambunctious, chaotic, out of control and kind of manic. Then if you give him the meds after being off them for two days he gets quiet, sullen, and almost depressed. He completely loses his appetite and all of this sends my BF into a tizzy thinking the boy is upset about something or not feeling well because he's quiet and not eating. I told my BF the only reason he's like that is because he probably feels 'high' or doped up after not being on the meds for days and then getting a dose of it. To me it seems a horrible thing to do to put the boy on and take him off the meds like that. If he's on them regularly and continually he's a happy, more calm well adjusted kid (not sullen or wild). Seems to me it would be better for the boy to keep him on an even keel with it. My BF says the doctor said it's ok for the child to not take the medicine regularly but judging by his behavior I don't agree.

I know that the BM uses the meds to make parenting the boy easier on her and not necessarily for his benefit. I think my BF sees the meds that way too as the last time I watched his son he gave me his meds and said if you want wild child don't give it to him if you want calm child go for it - it's totally up to you. I gave it to him because I knew he'd been given it the day before and I didn't want him to swing out of control and then get so sullen when given the meds later. My BF says he 'forgets' to ask his ex for the meds when he picks the boy up. If the BM is so intent on him having them you would think she would give them to my BF at that time. I almost think the BM doesn't give them to my BF because she wants the kid to be uncontrollable when we have him and then she wants to dope him up when he gets home so he'll be sullen, quiet and no trouble when he comes home!

My BF is a good dad, don't get me wrong. I don't think he sees any harm in not giving the boy his meds continually. I tried to express my concern with the mood swings but BF doesn't really want to hear it. He has such a hard time thinking or hearing that his child has a problem and it really tears him up to think of it. I don't quite know what to do. I feel bad for the kid and have a hard time dealing with and caring for him when he's off his meds because he's so wound up, yet I know it's not my place to say one way or the other. I just feel the kids should be on the meds all the time or off them entirely. Is that wrong?