I am one of those BM...my ex is a real number when it comes to stuff. He rarely buys the kids clothes...one to three outfits a year...yes, a year. We share custody equally. So, where do the rest of their clothes come from...you got it...me. My rule is that if it is something I bought them and it goes to Dad's, I don't care. But, it needs to come back. They are all teenagers and are capable of doing this. Electronics are tricky b/c I have bought them ipods and kindles. Dad has taken them away for a punishment and then "lost" them. The items are eventually found once I tell him I will need to speak to my lawyer about reimbursement.
When you have a BD who doesn't pull his share of the weight in providing for the kids, this is a touchy subject. I want to do what is best for the kids yet I cannot afford to supply everything they need. I know people that make the kids wear a "dad's house" outfit to dad's house...usually the one they wore when they came. I don't judge them any longer b/c I have seen how it can work.

We absolutely have clothes that just stay here.

Our situation is we have EOW and DH pays CS, but also foots the bill for 90% of back to school, Christmas and summer stuff.

Last year SD12 came over in those fake shearling boots... It was 85 degrees outside...BM expected us to get flip flops, sandals etc for her.... Then another time in the MOST gross sandals I've seen. I gave her a pair of Old Navy ($2!!) and never saw them again... I asked her and she looked away and said she just 'forgot' to wear them. Code for "My skank mother took them"...

Another time- she booked a softball practice/ tryout on our time... Fine- but told DH the day before. OK- but then sends the kid without the proper clothes... SHE is 12. I think she should know what to freakin' pack! HOWEVER- SD explained her running shoes are too small. I lent her a pair of mine that I never wear and they live here- she is welcome to them whenever she is here.

We don't let the kids take things from our house back to the home of BM and they go back in the clothes they came in. We never used to get clothes back, and actually had BM sell the DSI that we bought for SD. So now it's their stuff at our house and their stuff at BM's house.

Every other weekend when we would get SDs for their visit we would always have to go out and buy new clothes. SDs would say that BM always made them immediately take off the clothes that they were sent home from our house in and that they'd sit in a corner on the floor or in their drawer for 2 weeks until they'd come back to our house. Unfortunately, that was a lie. Every other weekend we'd be out buying brand new packages of underwear and socks because we'd send them home with size 12 underwear and no lie - they'd come back with size 4 or size 6 underwear. (How they were even able to squeeze them on in the first place was beyond me, but that's what I'd find in their dirty laundry).

As for the clothes not being worn during the two weeks with mom - we blew that one out of the water when we showed up (uninvited) to YSD school concert and MSD was hanging out in the entrance to the school wearing the clothes and shoes from our house. That kind of cleared up why the clothes would come back so dirty and the shoes were worn out and disgusting long before they'd have a chance to even grow out of them.

When the kid(s) arrive have them change clothes into whatever you want them to wear. They don't wear their mothers clothes again until they're ready to go back which is when they change back into those clothes and the clothing and the kids arrive at mothers exactly as they left.

If for some reason they're wearing some speciality clothing like for the track meet practice on Saturday well they just put them back on all smelly and dirty when they go back and that's the way it goes. Unless that offends your female sense of propriety in which case you can wash them and then send them back in the same clothes all nice and clean.

To me it depends on the age of the child(ren) as well as the sanity of both parents. When a child is bought clothes or expensive gadgets, they become THEIRS. THEY are responsible for having them where/when they need them. If they leave their favorite pair of jeans at the other house...oh well...they won't next time! Again...the child can learn responsibility when they have sane parents. My bf's ex won't even let his kids bring over expensive gadgets that HE purchased for THEM! There are exceptions when one parent is insane, aka controlling. And that's probably 90% of bms LOL

yeah this is apparently a big issue. Glad it's not just my house thats having this issue lol... We don't care if she doesn't give back the clothes right away but she is really anal about it when it comes to stuff she bought. On one hand I understand because I know clothes tend to accumulate at one house or the other, but on the other hand sometimes it is a bit overboard. For instance, she will ask for something and I tell her we don't have it and she starts to get frustrated with us about it. I know what all we have and I wash the stuff and give it back...Why the heck would I lie? So what always ends up happening is she find it over her house because it was there the whole time. So, that get annoying when she does that, but other than those times, it's not too much of a hassle. especially recently, because I started just putting her back in the same clothes she arrives in, that way we don't have missing things and I don't have to start getting crazy about clothes like she does.

Whatever we buy for the kids, we keep them at our place. Want to know why? Because if we let them take the things (clothes, toys, gadgets) back to their mother's place, the next time they come with those things - they are be torn, discoloured, or worse, lost. Their mother let them go out with torn clothes (it doesn't matter how small the hole is, it is still unacceptable!) and there is no way, I'd let that happen to clothes that I buy for them. We bought an iPod for SD and a few months later, her mother emailed me and asked me to "keep it between us" until they find it. Of course, I didn't - I told DH and I told him to never let them take anything home.

I don't know how she keeps things at home... but ever since they were married, DH said he lost shirts, socks and all. Good thing that never happens in our home!!

To be honest, I think items should be separate. I buy beautiful clothes for my SD5 because I want to see her in them. If they end up going to her mom's I usually never see them again which irritates me to no end. Unfortunately the toys also become a problem... We have our SD full time though so I'm not sure if that's different in your case. I just think it's easier for her to have the toys from us stay with us and the same for her mom's. SD frequently brings a stuffed animal to her mom's house and then forgets it and gets upset because it will be a week before she sees her again. She also has so many toys in her room that I hate when her mom sends her home with something as she just has no room for it. Recently her mom bought her an Easy-Bake oven and decided to give it to us. I don't think a 5 year old should have such a messy toy to begin with since she can't even keep Play-Doh from getting all over the place, so I sure as hell don't want it in my house.

When swins went to BM, clothes never were used again. She does not wash clothes, therefore everything goes into a huge pile and eventually gets put into a hefty bag & thrown out. Any electronics they brought over were sold by her for a few bucks & used for "groceries" she would tell them. Because DH hardly gave her any money that he owes her :? ($3,500 isn't very much ya know) she's got no food/gas. Few years of this boys wised up to her, she demanded $100 ea. of their bday money for food/gas. They gave it to her... That was the last time I gave them gift money.

My SS7 has the same thing. While I agree somewhat with the clothing (the whole reason it started was because BM would send him in stuff that didn't fit and he would go back in things that did and we would keep getting the outgrown or junk clothing) I STILL have a problem with the toy and stuff situation. Maybe it is just me, but if he has a favorite stuffed animal or game or whatever why not take it with? As long as everyone makes sure it goes back at the end of the visit what is the harm? I do see the potential for "it got ruined at YOUR house so YOU have to buy a new one" but omg it is the kids stuff isn't it? I mean holy crap no wonder I have to deal with him not respecting anyone elses stuff.

My skids come in BM clothing and go back in it, after its been washed and sewed up. We have a whole wardrobe at ours for when they are here, jackets, shoes included. Everytime I used to buy them new clothes SD's would wear them home, I wouldnt see it for months and then it would be ruined, last starw was I bought OSD a really pretty dress she wore it home, DH told BM to bring it back next visit (3days later) it came back ruined and hard and the top half was a different colour , it was originally white ?!
They bring their favourite toys or new toys they want to show us but we ALWAYS pack it for them to go back to BM's with. She on the other hand does not return the favor. This is stuff that my DH pays CS for btw

I have the opposite problem. Anything I buy for SD12 and SS10 they will not take home. Actually, anything I buy for them they will not take home. I'm not sure if it's because she makes them feel guilty or it's on their own, but I finally stopped buying clothes because they would just stay on the hangers.

LOL My ex wouldn't even let our daughter bring feminine products with her - because *I* bought them.

We have huge issues with this. Ss lives with us full time with bm occasionally abrubtly popping in (once a year to periods of her getting him every other weekend). If ss spends the night with her, she will keep the clothes, shoes and coat that we sent him over in. She sends him home in clothing and shoes that are two sizes too small and no coat. Every single time. She then "loses" our clothes and shoes and ss winter coat. She pays no CS. We literally lose money to her. We have to buy an entirely separate set of 3-4 "throw away" outfits for him to wear to bms about once a year. We have to keep extra sneakers in the house because she has sent him home on a Sunday night in shoes too small to wear to school on Monday. It's just not worth the fight. We do not allow ss to take anything but the clothes on his back to BMs because we will never see any of it again.

Nothing goes to or from BM house, she smokes and SD stinks when she comes home, I have a Baby and don't want toxins in my home

We keep some clothes for the kids just at our house. Especially clothes from Grandparents. If we send them to BM we'll never see them again.

But here is my question: BM keeps wanting DH to pay for half of what clothes she buys for them. Isn't that what he pays her child support for? I get paying for half of child care and half of medical costs, etc., but clothes? She could pay her mortgage with his monthly support, and we can't go on a date night!!

I am a stepmother and i started doing that with my ss and sd and my husband had a fit in the beginning but i told him that i was the one buying their clothes (When i was the only one working) and i would never see it once they took it to their moms house or if it ever made it back it would be ruined, stained torn or just plain dirty. once he started working and he would let them take things to her house he realized what i was talking about and he quickly backed me up, then i found out that when she would call them and tell them she was coming to pick them up she would tell them to make sure they wore something nice "because she was not going back to her house just yet" which is just code for i dont but them any nice clothes let alone do laundry enough for them to have clean clothes so they often sneak stuff in their back packs or wear stuff and unless i remember or we are going out and they complain they have nothing to wear or look like bums i ask where is all your clothes and they of course admit it is at their moms house so we have started to be on their backs about them bringing stuff back here and as often as we can try to make them not take anything more than undergarments and socks and school uniforms over to her house. Especially since we spent like $50 or more each on school shoes they wore for like 3 months then took to their moms house and they "ended up getting dog poop on them" which i told them just bag them up and i will wash them (that went on for weeks) she finally admited in a phone conversation to my husband that they were thrown away instead of being washed and she got evicted as well so i fight tooth and nail to have the stuff we buy here at my house

The only request I have in regards to this is that the outfit she was wearing when they get her comes back. I don't care if it's dirty, as long as it comes back. The reason for this is that they pick her up from school and I can't afford to keep replacing school clothes because they don't return them and send her back home in "play outside" type of clothes. It's worked for us. I feel bad because DD's SM always washes the outfit, when she really doesn't have to. But, oh well, I've told her that she shouldn't feel like she has to wash it, it's fine really. I also will let DD take electronics, but the first time they don't come back with her then she doesn't take anymore.

Different perspectives here (first as a kid, and now as a mom)...

As a child, I grew up with dad and stepmom. My stepmom would never allow me or my brother to take anything that they bought to our mom's house. Our mom didn't want the stuff and would have sent it back. I found it utterly ridiculous and petty on many levels. I still do find it ridiculous when looking back. My dad has since remarried another woman, and they tried to pull the same crap with my half-sisters. Actually, they do. My sisters have different sets of clothes at each house. They don't really want that much to do with our dad. It's kind of sad. Anyway, I am much older than them and live on my own in another state now, while they are in high school and college. I send them gifts for birthdays and Christmas, and gave one sister a string of pearls as a gift. I recall my dad's wife (he married her well after I moved out and got married, so I don't really think of her as 'stepmom') sending me a text one morning while I was on the way to work talking about some drama that was going on. She mentioned that she told my sister that the pearls (and basically anything I had given to them) need to stay at their house. I got really angry. I told her that they are allowed to do whatever they want with the gifts I gave them because they are theirs -- even if they want to toss them in the garbage. I explained how hard it was on me growing up to have to deal with that BS, and how it just isn't right. My dad's wife got so upset with me for not taking their side in the matter, but whatever. Honestly, I don't know the right way to handle things but I hate that the kids are just stuck in the middle. They don't ask to be in any of these situations.

Now, I am divorced and share a son with my ex. He is always taking things to his dad's house and they rarely come home with him. It drives me crazy. I am not going to tell him that he can't take something over to his dad's just because I bought it and his dad doesn't do this either. I do tell him that I expect him to bring it home with him (sometimes it happens). 2 things that are always going missing: blue jeans and jackets. I remember that I kept buying new blue jeans for my son and they kept disappearing. He's a very active boy and is always getting holes in his jeans. There was a period of time where he had 3 pairs of jeans with holes and 4-5 pairs of "good" jeans. Every single pair of good jeans was at his dad's house. I have had to send him to school in holey jeans on MANY occasions. He doesn't care. I finally had to email his dad asking to send home a few pairs of jeans so we'd have some too (he's with me most of the time). I just don't want to get into the trap of my house/your house. As someone who dealt with it to a very severe degree, I can say that it's really difficult on the kid. I know it's frustrating to buy things and not see them come back for a while, and if it's not your bio-kid I can only imagine that it's even more frustrating.

We had similar issues with the SpermClan and clothes when my Skid was in SpermLand for visitation. We would buy quality clothing. If it went to SpermLand it never came home. It would show up on the three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawn in school and family pics a year or two later. My Skid would come home in Walmart special clothing and his brand stuff would get scalped.

We finally started sending an inventory and price list in his bag when he went on SpermLand visitation and a note informing the SpermIdiot and SpermGrandMa that if the stuff did not come home with the kid the money to replace it damned well better or we would drag them to court for an increase in CS and reimbursement for the stolen clothing. They got all offended but after we embarrassed them with that list and note the Skids nice stuff came home from then on.

The really funny part is when SpermGrandMa would call and ask for specific items when she thought it was likely that the Skid had outgrown them. We never sent anyting to SpermLand that she asked for. First, we never lived nearer than 1200miles from SpermLand so it would cost quite a bit to ship it and second, we donated it to charity for the tax write offs.

Our general perspective was that the kid should be able to wear his clothing where ever he was and should not have to change what he wore depending on where he was.

I can see this from both angles.. With my SS, BM who is rarely employed wants high end everything on other people's dime. Then turns around and gives it to her boyfriend, or sells it. Anything he takes home is "gone" or he's not allowed to bring back due to mom & bf needing it when SS is never there.

When it comes to my kids, and their dad & gf, I literally must but thrift store clothes and send them because they come back DESTROYED or never comes back!! Usually they keep everything they get for my kids and keep all of my stuff too. Since BD's girlfriend has a kid that fits the same size!!! I'm not paying to cloth her child as well!!!

I know it's intentional until I started making them (BD & gf!) replace all the clothes they lose or ruin. Things calmed down a little but no matter what my kids are not that messy!! No need for the way the clothes get returned before I implemented the replacing policy lol

I had to start asking ex to send DD back in the same clothes I sent her in because I would send her in nice clothes and she would come back in clothes that were too small, stained, etc. I got tired off all of her good school clothes not coming back and be getting crap in return. I did tell them not to worry about washing them if they didn’t want to, but they always do send them back clean. Now, I’m having a issue with some toys. DD likes those miniature animals. She has some that were bought at dad’s and some that were bought here. She had brought all of them to my house one weekend when she came back. She took all of them, including the ones from our house, to her dad’s last weekend to play with. Her SM wouldn’t let her bring them back, including the ones that I had bought. So, when I see her dad tomorrow I have to be the bad guy again and tell him she needs to have the ones back that we bought her, so she can play with them at our house. Now I’m going to encourage her not to take anything there if SM is going to be like that.

We have some clothes that stay here...absolutely. Or we'd never see them again. BM rarely buys new clothes for SS. Annoying as crap. We bought new shorts for summer so yes...they stay. She was sending him in pants and shorts that were too small. It was mentioned and she rudely told my FI he can go buy clothes. Um, what is child support for again?

It might make it annoying but sometimes changes have to be made to get things done. Expensive toys stay here too. She will never give them back.

This same factor occurred in my family with my skids. Their mom will "claim" they didn't carry it there or she never saw it. Ummm, they are 7 decades of age, are you joking me? I think this is a situation by situation foundation and whatever performs in what family. BM has things at her home and we keep things at ours.

Crystal Lake Personal Trainer

This all sounds familiar... I make sure that SS8 has nice clothes at my house. BM sends him in nasty clothes every weekend that smell awful so most of the time I have to send him straight to the bath as soon as he comes over then I clean his clothes and send them back even undies and sock I keep nothing from BM's house. I also don't let him take any toys or electronics to BM, I feel my husband and I work hard to provide nice things and shouldn't be sent to BM for her to use, give away, or pawn for money ( everything she buys, she pawns).

This all sounds familiar... I make sure that SS8 has nice clothes at my house. BM sends him in nasty clothes every weekend that smell awful so most of the time I have to send him straight to the bath as soon as he comes over then I clean his clothes and send them back even undies and sock I keep nothing from BM's house. I also don't let him take any toys or electronics to BM, I feel my husband and I work hard to provide nice things and shouldn't be sent to BM for her to use, give away, or pawn for money ( everything she buys, she pawns).

I had to learn the hard way that if I went and bought nice clothes for SS10 (because he always came to our house in hand-me-down rags from his stepbrother's at BM's) they always just magically "disappeared" and were never to be seen again. I'm not sure if they were returned to the stores for money or what... But we stopped sending clothes back with him after losing a few hundred dollars worth of clothes. Now that we have full custody, and there is no CS being received, it'll still go the same way.

It's really so childish. My ss comes in clothes that cut his circulation off. We just change him for the weekend and when it's time to go back we put the tight clothes back on for him to go back home with. He's not allowed to bring toys or anything to our house, which isn't a problem apparently because my husband spoils him with expensive new toys every single time he comes

LOL. Add us to the list as well.

We spent a few hundred dollars on new school clothing for SKs 11 & 13...have yet to see any of it ever again. They always would come over in athletic shorts and tshirts, so we got them some more versatile outfits; thinking they'd wear them over.

Negative: I can think of four occasions where their dad told them to "dress nicely" for some event we'd be taking them to....and they'd show in athletic shorts and t-shirts again. As petty as it sounds, it makes US look like jackasses who cannot dress two children appropriately. Not to mention, it's just about winter and those outfits aren't *nearly* warm enough.

We were just saying the other day how we fully expect her to send them over in shorts all winter long in the hopes we'll buy them winter clothing. Tough luck, sister: that's what your $1,000k/month support is for...not your fucking acrylic nails or highlights.

We have separate things in our situation as well. Due to I like wearing nice clothes on my SD and the BM just has completely different taste. As well as there's been time where clothes haven't been returned and she has said "it's not her problem" my DH and I work hard to provide and she just gets government help as well as CS so why should I share the clothes I buy for my sd with her? That's my point of view

Ugh the back and forth with all the stuff!!! So very annoying! Poor sd9 doesnt have a room at her bm house, in fact her mom doesn't even have a room! They all sleep in the living room of bm husbands moms apartment. Rediculous yes. But the strange tjing is that i will take sd9 clothes shopping when she needs things and she wears or takes them to her moms untill all her new stuff is there and she has nothing that fits at our home! Where do they even keep the stuff?!? In a crate under the coffee table!?! Now if she honestly didnt have clothes to wear over there then fine but i know her mom spoils that child and takes her shopping almost everyweekend. And then they wonder why they have no money and sleep in a livingroom. But because she doesnt have a room there and gets enough stuff to fill two rooms, her room at our house is exploding witb stupid crap she doesnt need that bm frivolously buys her. It ends up all over our house because she has no room to put it away! Stop buying dumb shit!!!

We now let our ss take the clothes we buy him even though we know that we will never see them again. It is better than having him walk around school with floods and black holy socks that used to be white at some point. She has no shame!

FDH and I send SD back in clothes/shoes she comes in. We didn't use to, until BM started hording our clothes and would send SD back in clothes that were too small for her or were garbage worthy. We would ask for the clothes back but would only get clothes BM didn't want back. So when we bought SD new clothes we started sending her back in the clothes she came in. Washed of course. Before we did this BM would also text us to tell us what she wanted SD to wear back... I got really tired of these unnecessary texts. Now when BM texts to see if we have an outfit she wants SD to wear we say no. Because we're not going to lose clothes we have bought for her. BM usually says ' it's so hard to keep track of SD's clothes between houses.' SD also has a stash of clothes at her grandma's house, because thats where she spends most of her time.

If SD comes home with a toy or something other than clothes we put it in a 'special' place until she goes back to BM... Just tomake ssure nothing happens to it.
We never send her back with anything from our home.

I can so relate to this lol. The clothes we buy for the kids DH and I try to keep at our place so they can have nice clothes with us. I wash the cloths they come in and they go home in them. I do not allow items that we bought for them to go to their BM’s house. Unless it’s an item we know will be brought back and forth such as an ipod or DS (they use them in the car). Other items like games, toys, laptop, jewelry, ect do not leave my house. We bought them so the kids can enjoy them and have something to do at our place. If these items went home with them we would never see them again.

This is will only be an issue until your kid is 12 or so. Then there's no way you're telling them what they can and can't bring over to the other house. Just think if you had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, two front closets where your shoes are. Your life would be chaos! So just hold your breath until they are a bit older.

Skidmark's dad and I almost had tandem nosebleeds from the stress of this awhile back.

BM is a hoarder and compulsive shopper, so the kid is literally knee-deep in all the latest and greatest Target has to offer at any given time. Anything she brings or wears to BM's is lost in a sea of clothing and rarely seen again; it's infuriating, and she always has some excuse about why she can't give it to BD when he drops the kid off. She then makes a scene when anything doesn't make it back from BD's place, which is extremely rare.

We came up with a “Monday box” (custody changes on Mondays). When Skidmark gets to her dad's place after school on Monday, she empties her backpack of mom-related tchotchkes, folds the clothes she wore from BM's place, and puts it all in the box. On Sunday night, she puts those clothes back on and re-packs the random crap that her mother insists on bogging her down with. This way, it all gets back to that unreasonably proprietary hambeast. The woman calls and screams at BD if the kid is missing a sock Monday night. It's just not worth it. That's MY time!

Skidmark has clothes, shoes, and stuff at both houses. She isn't allowed to take anything from BD's place to BM's, since neither BM or skidmark can be trusted to return anything and it will just get lost anyway. BM and the kid have ennui (not memory) problems, so we made her a Monday box for BM's place. It got lost over there (of course), and thats when we gave up and stopped letting her wear anything that didn't come from BM to begin with. That solved the issue once and for all.

Good question!! What my BF and I do with my SD things is have what we buy for her stay at our house. Have her bring things her BM bought back to that house. We make her wear the same outfit her BM had her wear back home. The catch is sometimes SD wants to bring things we buy for her, as special, back to her BM's house. We mostly will tell her no but if it's a cheap item we will say yes. Having her bring stuff to her BM's from us feels like we're giving to charity. Occasionally we will have to have her bring clothes back from us because the outfit she was sent in didn't fit or didn't have any bottoms... :jawdrop: It sucks telling her no about certain things but we have to have boundaries or we will never have good stuff for her at our house.

Glad to know I'm not alone on this one though it's pathetic that this kind of thing happens at all, much less this often. We drop SD6 off at school Thursday mornings which is where it's become an issue for us. It would be great if BM would just send her to school the following Wednesday in whatever we sent her in Thursday morning but that would require her to plan ahead, do laundry, have some consideration for our feelings/finances, care about how SD looks, etc.

We send her to school looking nice; she's wearing clean clothes that actually match and fit, her shoes are in one piece and the right size, we do her hair and the other kids compliment her on how nice she looks. When we pick her up, she hasn't had a bath in 2+ days, her hair is stringy, she's wearing the infamous Walmart specials which the hag often buys second hand at the thrift store (I mean if you're there take the time to pick out some nice things!) and she's ALWAYS wearing slip on shoes; crocs, those ugly crosses between gym shoes and dress flats (usually w/o socks so not only do her shoes stink but her feet stink too!) or my personal favorite - the knee high kid sized hooked boots and every last pair is terribly worn in the toes. She won't buy her any clothes with a button, zipper, tie or snap and SD is 4'2" and 64 lbs at 6 years old so putting her in spandex pants and shirts that are too small emphasize the fact that she's got a bit of a tummy and a larger butt.

After arguing with DH over this because he didn't want to 'be the bad guy and ask for our stuff back' and collecting a months worth of clothes I handed them back to BM and asked for our things back. She forked over things that I hadn't seen in months which she didn't even bother to wash first and almost half of it was stained to the point that it had to be thrown out. We also found out that she's been giving the clothes we buy SD to her douche bag boyfriend's daughter! I get her dressed for school and can't bring myself to put BM'S crap back on her so there are certain things like nice dresses and shoes that she can only wear to school if we pick her back up. We even changed our weekday visitation to Thursday for a while because we picked her up from school on Friday when it was our weekend.

I think the worst part of it was the conversation with SD about this because we make it a point to talk about the hag as little as possible and try to avoid saying anything negative. SD has said things like 'Mommy only steals your clothes because she can't afford to buy me new ones' or at Goodwill a few weeks back she made a comment about how BM couldn't afford to buy her jeans like the ones I was purchasing for her; they were $3. I'm not going to tell a 6 year old that her mother doesn't pay rent or have any actual bills because grandpa pays for everything or explain that DH gives the hag money every month to pay for things like this but I'll be damned if I haven't thought about writing a children's book entitled "Child support and why Mommy isn't spending it on you."

When I first married my husband, I bought my SD a lot of nice clothes.. but it never comes back to our house so she ended up not having nice clothes to wear when we went out. She's left with clothes with holes or crappy clothes that doesn't fit her. So we decided to send her home in the same outfit she came to our house with. I'd rather make sure I washed those clothes than having to buy new clothes every time.