Please help

Tymi2626's picture

Hi... I dont really know how to start so i will just dive in.. When my husband and i got together i never thought things would be this bad. He is amazing he is a great father to his three girls ( my step kids) and my two children (his step kids) and our now 1 year old son..(we had him together).. The brady bunch from hell...    The mother of the girls is awful.. When he left her she let the lights get turned off she got the water shut off and for 5 months forced the kids to lie to my husband and i about it all. During that time the girls were in school still all but the youngest and the school even believed things were ok still. When school ended she dropped the 3 girls off at our house and left the state for 4 months telling us she was looking for a new place for them to live ro start over... During that 4 month period my husband and i took very good care of the girls but yet children and youth kept calling him telling him there were allegations made against me. Saying i was beating the girl that i wouldnt let them shower so many awful things.. We were baffeled at who was behind this.. We later found out it was her the mother... No mind u during this time the girls wrecked my house they put holes in the walls ripped up pictures of my decesed relatives. Bullied my 4 year old (at the time) and would do deliberate things against me and still i never put a had on them.  Our choice of punishment was the corner.. And how long the stood there depended on their action... Over the course of time we found out via talking to the girls that their mother had told them to do everything they could to make me mad. She told them not to listen to hit my son to break my stuff ect. I was furious and asked them why they would do that to after all the nice things i personally had done for them.  ( their mother was a stripper and a coke head)( i dont care about her occupation as long as the girls were not exposed to it)  the coke part was an issue tho. Anyways... When school started well actually it was a month after the mother came back to town and demanded the kids seeing that my husband and i were still together and were now pregnant. Needing a break we agreed only because she would be living with her mother ( the grandmother) and we thought she would keep them safe. As time passed maybe a month or so we got another call from children and youth. We were informed that neglect had been reported by the school and they were stepping in. Months went on like this we had the kids 3 days a week and she had them the other 4. Because of school.. And all along children and youth kept in contact with us letting us know how uncooperative the was being.. This lead them to forcibly remove the kids from her care and place them in ours.. Luckily it was summer again and we had more time to work on the damage all this was causing them.  When school started again the girls begged to go back to theur old school and if staying with us they would have to switch.  So my husbands mother agreed to take the 2 older girls so they could go back to their old schools. That year.. Now this whole time the girls were still the same they were disobedient they would ruin whatever they touched and when we disciplined them they would call the mother and children and youth would show up... This went on for almost three years.. 

When the girls would visit with the mother they would come back telling us how she didnt do anything with them 90% of the time she wasnt there and when she was she was with her boyfriend who would show the girl naked pics and laugh about it.. Fast forward to this month. The situation is still the same. The two older girls are at my husbands mothers and the youngest is here now 4 with my 6 year old my 16 year old and our 1 year old. The two girls are now 12 and 7. We are at a loss what we should do as we live in a 3 bedroom apartment and do not make enough money to move.. We have provided all the clothes food literally everything for all 6 kids.. The mother is now taking us for child support and has refused to give us any paperwork for the kids and children an youth wont even write a letter stating the kids live with us so we can get insurance for them.  

Tymi2626's picture

The girls have beaten my son up pinched my one year old till he cries they have broken everything i own. Recently the 7 year old took siccors and cut the tip on my 6 yearr olds thumb them went and told her school i beat her.  The 4 year old wont stop peeing and pooping on herself. And some of u may be thinking oh no what happen to her... No nothing happened she does it on purpose.. She will poop then wipe it on my walls she will stand at the bathroom door and pee herself ... She steals my money.. All the kids lie constantly its so hard to deal with this 

SteppedOut's picture

"It's so hard to deal with this"

Then stop. Don't allow the ferals in your home.

NO WAY I'm letting a kid in my home that constantly hurts (or tries) to hurt my child. Protect your children! 

shellpell's picture

Exactly this!! ^^^^

I would NEVER let anyone hurt my children. Skid tried to be aggressive ONCE with my then baby, and I've never let him close to either of my children since then. Never touched them, never left them alone together. Cut off your child's finger tip? Are you kidding???

tog redux's picture

These kids have been traumatized, are they at least in therapy?

Tymi2626's picture

We asked the school counselor to talk to them on a daily and they kids either refuse to talk or they out right lie to her.  They know what they are doing and i believe its the mother telling them this. 

Tymi2626's picture

We asked the school counselor to talk to them on a daily and they kids either refuse to talk or they out right lie to her.  They know what they are doing and i believe its the mother telling them this. 

Aunt Agatha's picture

Figure out a way to move out with your kids or have i your husband move out with his feral children. This is your husbands problem. Not yours. Certainly not your kids'.
 

You don't mention this, but if you don't have a job, go find one while the economy is good.

Your children's childhoods are being stolen from them by these horrendous children.  You need to get your kids to a safe place where they aren't being abused.

Good luck!

Tymi2626's picture

I am at a loss because he has cried literally cried because he is starting to feel hatred towards his kids.. And as far as them staying away since the thumb inicident i have not allowed that child back in my home. Both my husband and i dont want them here anymore but at the end of the day he is still the father... If he walks away the state will step inand take them... To the traumatize comment. Yes maybe they are but i and my husband have both tried to show them a better life in my home and they still fight us.. These kids feed off of drama and u can sed it in their faces they light up watching their sibbling get in trouble. They love when my husband and i fight.. I looked up signs ur child my be a psychopath and i crap u not the oldest hit every mark except animal cruelty... My relationship with my husband is now falling to pieces. since my fist comment we have argued about every little thing. I know were both frustrated bit im loosing my mind over all this... Im hanging on by a thread at this point. I have never secretly cried so much in my life.   

Tymi2626's picture

With everyday that passes i feel less and less heard.  I dont want to lose my realationship and to be completely honest he doesnt want to continue to deal with them either. He is starting to hate his own children.    I know it sounds awful but the reality is these kids are doing everyrhing in their power to drive us apart and neither i nor my husband want that... So what do we do?. He has stated that even if he and i take a break he will resent the kidseven more. So a break wont help them any.  I hate to say this but after 4 years of try i ng i dont care if th3y go in the system anymore.  As a mother who loves her children please understand how it pains me to feel this way about a child..its killing him to because he feels the same. So are we wrong for letting them go? I cant even describe to u how bad these kids are.  They really dont care...    The one whocut my son just took a bottle of tylenol to school and way handing them out... She stole the bottle from his mom. And then told the school the grandma gave it to her to share.. So the school called children and youth again.  Like omg. This doesnt end. 

Tymi2626's picture

I do have a job and no it diesnt make enough to go on my own but again i have removed the 2 oldest from my home for good. But the issue hasnt gone away.. My husband and i are still being told by children and youth that they are his responsibility.. Which yes he is the father but how do u take care of kids who are deliberately trying to ruin u.. I say we send them to the mother since they dont wanna listen and let them see what life with her would be like. If the state takes them then thats on her at this point. I dont know anyother way

Tymi2626's picture

My husband doesnt want to lose me and i dont wanna leave him. But we cannot coexist with his children. He is willing to let them go but as a mom im struggling with this choice. No kid should be in the system but these kids are so so so bad and they know what they are doing. 

Rags's picture

The toxic crotch droppings need to be banished from your home. They are a danger to your own young children.  

One thing you may consider is letting the 16yo protect their younger sibs.  A 16yo will chew up and spit out the toxic Skids.

Let the 16yo loose to be the big sib and protect the young ones.

I am 6 years the elder to my younger brother and 8yrs the elder to the youngest.  My parents made it clear that one of my primary responsibilities was to keep them safe when they were in my charge.

Release the big sib when the toxic StepSpawn get shitty.  

But, if they are never in your home, they won't be a problem.

Now for disciplinary methods. Standing the corner is useless when applied to evil little shits.  So, find escalating age appropriate misery inducing consequences rather than repeating an ineffective consequence.

Tymi2626's picture

Should we just let the state step in and take them . i think we should just send them to tgeir mom and walk away... And yes my 16 year old now wont let them near her younger brothers.   But she wasnt here during any of the times they were bulling. My 16 y old leaves whenever they come she says they are worse then saten cause saten atleast acts like saten. They pretend they love u and the second u turn are they go ham. Its crazy... Like right now the coke head is calling my husband for the 4 year old and were arguing because if she goes to her moms i dont want her back.  We just got her to stop peeing herself again...