How do you respond??
I am wondering if anyone knows how to deal with the most recent situtation I have come across. My Husband and I have been together for a few years, he has a SS7 and SD4, I have a BD8 and the BM has been hanging out with questionable company, I recently did some diging and found out that she has been posting ad's on Craigslist looking for the pleaseure of Animal company if you know what i mean. (Just to clarify, Beastality is not against the law in the state that I live in) I also know that her boyfriend has been in jail for domestic violence and also allot of drinking offenses. Anyway so not only am i completely disguested but also in a position where I do not deal with her at all, i leave that up to hubby, after all he married her.
SO the other day she asks for my phone number in case she had an emergency, and since she ALWAYS have a different motive than she says I told Hubby that I didnt want her to have it (clarification when she first found out about us, I got allot of drunk calls, volgur text messages and one night when i wasnt gaurding my phone my daughter answered and it was her and her boyfriend on the other end making sex noises and telling me to f-off, thats when i changed my phone number) I am an emergency contact on both their school forms and all the right people that need to have it, do. So he told her that i did not want her to have it and she went off on him, with the kids right there of course, so he just said ok and left, as not to argue in front of them, then she sends an email to my work saying "I thought we were past these little games, and it doesnt matter if you give yoru number to me or not i already have it, so this is my right because you are taking care of MY children this is my right to call you anytime i want day or night" blah blah blah...
She is so up and down one minute she cooperates the next minute she starts all sorts of drama, I am afrid that maybe she is going to start causing problems for me at work and that is something I cannot handle. How do i Deal with this situtaion? My Hubby sent her an email but I am afrid she doesnt act like an adult very often so there will be more before she cools off, has anyone delt with anything like this or does anyone have advice?
She does NOT have the right
She does NOT have the right to have your #!! I found this out when my bm tried the very same thing. This is what I did, I told her that if she called me I would file harassment of communications against her. I was told by a cop to do that. She called too many times to count and left some great mess. I took them to the police and filed. She never called me again. Although she told dh that he needs to tell me that the [police said that if she files those same charges on me again that I would be arrested. And that she has already filed 2 other times before so it is 3 strikes and your out. LOL I laughed so hard over that b/c I never once called her. I told dh that that is what the cop told her about her!!
Anyway my point is that she does not have that right and that she has your dh's # and that is all she needs!
Although she told dh that he
Although she told dh that he needs to tell me that the [police said that if she files those same charges on me again that I would be arrested. And that she has already filed 2 other times before so it is 3 strikes and your out.
Hahahahahaha - what an IDIOT!!
Yea I know it really was
Yea I know it really was funny, I really laughed hard on that one. That is not the first or the last stupid thing she has ever said. The best one though was when it was proven that dh was ahead in CS but called dh to tell him that he had to pay it anyway and he needs to do it before they take it out of his check. Dh told her that that is not what the paper work he just got said, she said I don't care what kind of paper work you have you still owe me and have to pay it. Dh told her well I think I;ll wait for them to take it out of my check. She growled at him and hung up. Too funny! She did the same thing when she took him to court b/c she said she had pics of us having sex in front of the kids, of course she didn't have any kind of pics like that. Anyway she tried to tell us that the judge gave her everything she wanted b/c she won with the pics????? That was right after dh talked to his lawyer and she said there was no pics (DUH)!
Here was Hubbys Response to
Here was Hubbys Response to her emailing me at work and such: We are curretnly working on boundries!
BM,
First off, I don't appreciate you hounding me for Her phone number 'in case of an emergency or in case you can't get in touch with me'. I have a cell phone with voicemail, so use it if there is an emergency with the kids that you need to get in touch with me about. I am the father and any communication regarding the children goes through me, period. Second, sending nasty emails to her work address, threatening that you'll 'discover' her phone number for your own purposes is also crossing the line. It is disruptive and not appreciated.
Perhaps you're unclear on boundaries, so let me clarify them for you:
1. I will not tolerate you attempting to initiate unwanted correspondence with any person in my home for any reason. I do not badger you for contact information for any person that you choose to allow the kids to interact with and expect that you will not either.
2. If there IS an emergency with the children while they are with me (ie, sickness, serious accident, serious behavioral issues), I will contact you directly. If you are not available on your phone I'll leave a message. I will not attempt to contact any people you associate with to 'track you down'. I also expect the same on your end.
3. Also, "emergency" means something urgent or of vital importance in context relating to the children. This does not include calling me at work to inform me SS7 got a frowny face on his report or SD4 has a rash on her bum. These are the types of things you can relate to me at pickup/dropoff or via email.
4. Both (name removed) M and I are employed and sending emails for any reason to a business email address is not acceptable. Your address has been put on the blacklist and will be marked for deletion upon delivery if you persist in sending harassing and unwanted emails.
If you'd like to discuss or need further clarification on these boundaries, please feel free to email me.
Thank you
Make sure you print the
Make sure you print the harassing e-mails she sent to your work so that you can give a copy to the Judge the next time you go to court.
This is the kind of thing that will often bare the opposition’s asses in court and motivate the idiot family law Judges to actually make a viable decision.
Hang in there.
Here was BM's Response to his
Here was BM's Response to his email: (M in the below is Me and everything in () is my comments). Anyone else here dealing with someone like her on a daily basis?
I did not harass anyone and don't appreciate the accusation. I should (and do) have M's phone number so that in the event of an emergency and I can't reach you-I can contact her. It's sad that you are too paranoid and ridiculous to see that I needed that phone number for emergencies only. (Clarification BMsBF harassed me for over a year i am right not to want her to have my phone number) I have not and will not contact M unless I absolutely need to and since she clearly plays a role in caring for my children-I have the right to do that.(I dont believe she has the right to do anything that has to do with me) You don't even dress your own daughter for crying out loud. (This was a stab, how does she think she knows this? he has to dress his kid, he doesnt send her naked) I thought that after nearly 2 years of separation we could ALL be adults about these types of things but apparently you are still the child that I married. I will contact you whenever I want and in whatever fashion I choose to,(somehow she still thinks this is OK?) if you choose not to answer that's your choice. Contacting you to keep you posted on your children is not harassment(it is when she calls yoru work and continues to call till she gets a response out of you to tell you that SD pooped) nor should it have to be for emergencies only and I do not harass or pass messages to others in your household. You clearly aren't looking at the whole picture and it's simply that I wanted the number if something really major happened involving our kids and you don't answer your phone when I call. This is typical and should the occasion rise where I really need to get in touch immediately with you I won't hesitate to call your girlfriend of 4 years to try to reach you.(Not sure why this was said either, our anniversary is July 1st and this year will be two years) I would hope you would do the same and I know you have BM's-BF numbers as does M.(M also has a PPO against him) Now grow up and realize that you will have to deal with communication from me for the next 15 years whether you like it or not. It's not harassment-it's parenting as a divorced couple. Deal with it. Feel free to email ME with any questions as long as they are reasonable and do not include false accusations or name calling.(for the record he doesnt name call, she tells him to go fuck himself on a weekly basis because he wont loan her money or buy her smokes)
Mmmmkay. Having your cell
Mmmmkay. Having your cell number is not a right. It's a privelage. It's a privelage doled out to people that are able to use your cell number responsibly. I don't give my cell number out to a lot of people. In fact, my cell phone is actually for MY convenience, not everyone else's, as is my home phone.
In case of an emergency, what is it you are going to do in regards to your steps? If there's an emergency, there is no reason whatsoever their dad can't handle it.
She maybe should have thought about this cell phone issue before she wasn't a good steward of communication and allowed her BF to harass you. Now that's not a form of communication she'll be able to use with you. That's really a shame. But she bought it, so, I would let DH handle it. Try ignoring her. That's what we do half the time. One of ours gets worse by the day. I can't believe I recently referred to her as reasonable. Somebody shoot me.