SS hates me
I have disengaged entirely. I don't acknowledge SS 17, I don't talk to him, we just live together. I'm not mean, I just stay out of his way. For years my husband has excluded me from concerts and other fun activities I'd like to do with him and his son and it really hurts. I would say goodnight to SS and he would ignore me. I threw him birthday parties that had I not, he wouldn't have gotten to have as his dad is simply not creative in that way. He has stolen from me and we just caught him with a handle of vodka in the bathroom that I had just bought that day.
Now that I'm disengaging, SS hates being at our house and threatens to move in with mom full time. Says that I'm putting off a vibe he doesn't like. My husband is beside himself. He just wants me to talk to his son but I don't know that there is anything I can say that would help. He wants me to apologize to his son for not talking to him but if anyone were to steal from me like he does I wouldn't talk to them either. I don't know what to do because my husband is so upset that he's losing connection with his son and feels like he has chosen me over his own kid. I keep telling him that isn't true, he's chosen us both, but there's nothing we can do to control his son's reaction to our marriage. He is so hurt and I really feel for him. I just don't know what to do.
**For years my husband has
**For years my husband has excluded me from concerts and other fun activities I'd like to do with him and his son and it really hurts. I would say goodnight to SS and he would ignore me.**
This is a problem of your husband's making. He shouldn't have excluded you, and he shouldn't have allowed his kid to be rude and ignore you when you spoke to him. He should have called his son out and done something about it when he stole from you. He has brought this all upon himself. Just keep that in mind as you continue your disengagement, which is completely appropriate.
" He wants me to apologize to
" He wants me to apologize to his son for not talking to him"
Oh hell no! You do not need to grovel to a brat. It is your DH who owes you an apology for selling you out and having you be subjected to such a rude, thieving brat.
Your DH sells you out
And now wants you to fix things. Big NO. He created this crazy household, let him fix it.
You are the adult. You must be respected in your home.
Change your mindset right now
Change your mindset right now.
You are the one who is owed an apology! Not rude ignorant SS. Your H and SS have both been rude and disrespectful towards you.
Why are you feeling sorry for your H? Don't waste any more time on that.
My husband about 3-4 yrs ago when i had enough of
Adult ss bullshit claimed ss who was 19-20, threatened to run away from home and how would hubby feel about that?? He had no job, no money, no house to live in, relied on a monthly allowance from daddy, he thought if he ran away that daddy would still continue his monthly allowance and provide a free rental lol.
i told my husband that we have 2 young toddlers terrified of seeing him in our marital home, ss completely shuns everyone and enjoys pretending we don't exist until inlaws come over. The vibe is toxic/negative and I don't feel motivated or desperate enough to remain as his wife and won't continue to livr in such a toxic home.
hubby bought a home for us to live in in my country of birth, he's an essential worker o/seas so we fly back and forth pre covid as both kids are in school.
my husband told ss about 2 yrs ago that he's burned so many bridges for no reason than just because, that no one wants to spend holidays with him and have it ruined. My husband said he couldn't even bring ss to my country for holidays as his toxic negative presence and vibe makes people feel not welcome in their home
hubby reminded his son that his own mum abandoned him and disowned him, he has no relationship with his full sisters who are brainwashed by bio mum, so basically he's destroyed the only positive relationship with people he could have had and therefore can spend holidays alone because my husband isn't choosing him over me and our 2 young kids together.
ss as usual claimed he wanted to apologise. The last apology was mumbles out I couldn't even understand what he was saying until I realised he said "daddy told me to apologise" and hubby copped a mouthful from me how disingenuous his apology was he couldn't even make an effort to talk properly. Hubby lost it with his son and as usual ss default to his "person is stressed" to shut hubby up which is him referring to himself in 3rd person form with his inaginary stress syndrome of bullshit.
Its been 3-4 yrs since i even talked to ss and really we have no relationship since i married my husband over 7 yrs ago and i refuse to spend another day with ss in my home
Oh, I would talk to him all
Oh, I would talk to him all right. He would rue the day he ever pulled that kind of shit with me. It would take him a week to get the vodka bottle out of his ass, DH would know for damned good and well that his POS spawn was not a welcome presence in my life due to DH;'s abject failure as a parent, father, and yes as your life partner.
Neither of them would want me to know they were anywhere near me.
Ass chewing, invoking an existence of abject misery, and a crystal clear view tha their shit would be broadcast loud, clear, and publicly if they ever pulled this kind of crap again.
And... SS should have the clear understanding that when his 18th b-day lands his ass is out. Unless he turns 18 before HS graduation in which case, his bags will be on the curb at the graduation venue with an Uber waiting to take him anywhere he wants to go that a $100 Uber ride will get him to.
Grrrrrr!