I am so done...

Forums:

So my username should be changed. Lol. Dh refused to respect my disengagement with dss22 by:

1. Scheduling a vacation with dss22, his wife, my dd25 and her bf, in hopes that it would “force” me to go on vacation and ignore my request for disengagement.

2. After I learned of the vacation (overhearing did talk to her bf about it), I was furious, and dh committed to not involve my children with anything unless he talked to me first.

3. He then paid for a ticket for my ds23 without talking to me about it, and told all of the kids that he hoped I would go after learning they were all going.

Dh insisted that the trip was for his mother’s birthday and he said it was absolutely NOT a vacation. So, now, he is posting pictures on Facebook of them renting a boat, having fun on the beach, swimming, eating out at nice restaurants, basically having the time of their lives on vacation. WTF?! He texts me every day saying that he wants us to work things out?! He just drove the last dagger in my heart.

i hired the lawyer (that dh recommended) and set thup divorce in motion, I hired a real estate agent to sell the marital home, and I packed away all of the family pictures to depersonalize the house for selling purposes. I think he is now trying to hurt me with his FB pics, and I now feel betrayed by my own children. O.M.G.!!! I can’t believe this is my life and that he is being so disrespectful and hurtful towards me.

Take yourself off Facebook.

Take yourself off Facebook. What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Continue to get legal advice. Get counselling if you get ‘stuck’ and can’t move on. I’m sorry you feel like this I hope things change for you soon.

Take yourself off Facebook.

Ugh, I'm sorry. He sounds

Ugh, I'm sorry. He sounds like a master manipulator and emotionally abusive. Anyone manipulative enough to get your own kids on his side has some well-honed skills.

I agree about unfriending him on Facebook and just following through with the divorce process. Your kids will see through him at some point.

OP, you need to remove

OP, you need to remove yourself as an active Facebook “audience,” either through blocking or temporarily deactivating your account until all the dust settles.

Yuck, he’s back from vacation...

...and made sure to let me know that my children want to maintain a relationship with him. I told him he had me to thank for that since I nurtured their relationships with him, thinking our marriage was “forever.” He told me he would see me at my daughter’s wedding, and he is going to try to get ds23 a job interview at his company. I told him his son (my ss23) is a jerk and I wouldn’t even choose someone so mean to be a friend, and that dh helped enable to mean, disrespectful behavior towards me. He made sure to let me know that no one in the family wanted the divorce except me, so, yes, he made me out to be the bad guy throughout his vacation with me.

You shouldn't expect anything

You shouldn't expect anything less from him. He is now afraid because his future comfort is being threatened and he is also afraid of losing the control he has had over you. He will paint a picture to everyone else, including your kids, that he is the nice guy being wronged. This will stop when the proceedings get to the point that he has nothing to gain from them.

You need to find a counselor to help you traverse this path alone. When I divorced my ex, he had many people convinced that I was leaving because I was cheating on him. Narcissists can't stand to be painted in a bad light and he will manipulate your own children. Decades later I have a better relationship with his family than he does because time has proven who is the better person. He lives with one of his sisters now and she has definitely seen his true colors. I believe time has a way of sorting this crap out, and you need to keep your nose clean and let him dig his own grave.

I would respond to him that your children are adults and free to have relationships with whoever they want. Tell your children the same thing. That will work itself out on its own.

No one in the family wants

No one in the family wants the divorce but you? The only people on the marriage licence is the two of you.

This guy is an evil prick and evil must be distroyed.

So destroy the evil.

I agree that you need to keep your kids out of it. Make your destruction of STBXH as private as is reasonably possible but make it happen.

Once the D is done then season your adult children with the facts and spend as long as it takes working through the toxic relionship recovery with your kids.

Good luck and take care of you.

I have to say

I have to say that you have my genuine sympathies about your children's behavior. Even though you did everythiing to encourage a good relationship with your H, they should know better. They are not small children. They presumably have ex'es of their own as I am assuming your son did not marry his elementary school sweetheart and your daughter is not still dating the first boy she kissed. Obviously there is not much to be gained if their heads have been turned by money or access to vacations or possible inheritance but it might be worth at least broaching the subject of who their actual loyalty lies with and that they are likely being played for the purpose of literally messing with your heart. If they are so blind that they can't grasp that then polite distance is going to have to do and I recommend finding a counselor and the solace of some good friends. That your attorney should rip his spleen out through his nose goes without saying.

I wouldn't be surprised if

I wouldn't be surprised if the purpose of this "vacation" was to manipulate and brainwash everyone against you. Keep your head up and know that you are doing the right thing by divorcing him and this toxic marriage. Wishing you all the best and cheers to new beginnings and living your best life.

Keep closing the box around

Keep closing the box around him by not giving a shit about what he is doing. Don't look at his FB. Block him from seeing yours. If anything, use his FB activity to build info for your divorce case. His attempts to guilt you will invariably bare his own ass. Be prepared to take advantage of those opportunities.

Move on. Once he is in your past your kids will focus on their relationship with you rather than their relationship with them.

Update...we sold our house in 8 days, the divorce agreement...

should be finalized within a month. I am looking at places to live this weekend since the marital home was sold and we have to be out in 6 weeks. This is moving really fast, but it beats the alternative. My husband tells me I should live with him until I find a place (he closes on his new home soon), and/or that he will help me get moved in and situated into my own home. I politely declined both offers. We DO have the dog that will keep us in contact, as I cannot leave my dog and he refuses to let me have him even though he originally agreed to let me keep the dog. Well, at least I have a dogsitter when I go on business trips and/or vacations.

"He originally agreed to let

"He originally agreed to let me keep the dog"

But now he isn't.

You do realize he is using that as a way to force contact and communication, right?

Thats so wrong

What A selfish ass. Just leave and never give him another chance ever to fuck you over in such a callous evil way. You cannot trust this man now you know he DOES NOT have your back!

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