Hi all,

As usual, reading and writing here is the only way I keep my sanity.  I got sucked back into caring about 2 months ago.  My SS16 has been consistently getting in trouble to where it has escalated into criminal damaging.  This has been happening since 8th grade.  I have completely disengaged since I realized it has become like dealing with a best friend who calls to complain about a psychotic boyfriend....and then gets back with him.  Insanity ...doing the same thing (or in this case, not doing anything) and expecting diffrent results.  However, this last time, after seeing my DH was completely distraught and upon his request for my advice, I supported him.  As of two months ago, BM and DH (for the first time in a long time.....) seemed on the same page.  No phone, infinite grounding, no driver's license, military school, counseling, psych assessement, and community service as required by the law ----- the physical community service option that required weekends and not the attendance to a 2-hour class that gave him 5 hours of credit.  Well, as you can all guess, not ONE thing was followed through.  My DH removed the Xbox from his room.....but guess who is allowed to lay around all day long on our sofa and play ....... SS16 is getting his license today at mommy's! I took him to his initial intake at a mental health center with my DH.  BM was to bring him to a clinical evaluation.  Despite my DH providing her with the releases, guess who never followed through......As for my SD17, she is the coldest human being I have ever met.  DH says she is exactly like her mom - a bully, can't take no for an answer, and he doesn't enforce ANY rules because he would rather avoid her.  After a day of partying on a boat all day, she in her infinite laziness and disrespect took wet clothes of her brother's out of the washer and dumped them in my clean, dry clothes in the dryer.  Couldn't even be courteous enough to take my stiff out. Anyway, I hit my limit.  I finally realized that I have two choices:  continue to be the naggy unhappy wife that I have become over the past 2 months or revert being back to the bubbly, caring, happy person and keep psycho BM's toxicity (which has been passed on to the kids) away from my life and my heart.  My point to anyone with compassion who wants to enage again:   DON'T DO IT.