Wow, really? Double standard much?
For goodness sake... so my 10 yr old has a school project that was due today. For weeks he has known. I have pushed and pushed him to do it but flat out REFUSED to do it for him. I am always like that about homework... last time I checked, the work was to TEACH THEM how to do the things, not teach me. Reasoning, responsibility, etc... that comes from THEM doing it, not me doing it for them. My job is to raise them to be responsible, independent thinking, and well functioning adults. SO and I have always agreed on this I thought. He backed me on the project and would remind my 10 yr old of this with other homework as well.
That's all fine and dandy but tonight we get home from church and he drops his 11 yr old off at her mom's and comes home. I put my 3 to bed and his phone rings. I hear a young girl's voice and figure it's the 11 yr old b/c the older 2 have been just BRATS to him lately.. refusing to be around me and the kids at all for no reason.. literally.. nothing happened... they just decided one day. We had not even seen them in a few weeks and they were excited to come see us and then decided randomly they hate our church and don't want to be around me or the kids.. wtf??? SO anyways.. I hear him saying some odd things and I say "Are you doing someone's homework?" jokingly. HE WAS! He sat on the phone and missed our bed time routine with the 4 yr old b/c he was not HELPING his 15 yr old do her work, but was doing it FOR HER even with how she is treating him and how he even pushed to make sure I didn't do the 10 yr old's for him. And it was EASY homework.. it was about the book Jurassic Park... wow... even the movie answered most of the questions. AGHHHHHH Way to go there, dad... that's a good way to create an adult that thinks for themselves. This wouldn't piss me off so much if we hadn't just agreed to let my kid lose points on HIS project, but he does HER homework for her. WTF.
Men are so stupid LOL. I
Men are so stupid LOL. I catch my bf all the time in double standards. They are totally objective when it is about someone else's kid, but when it comes to their own, they are blind.
It's not just men, it's most
It's not just men, it's most bio-parents.
I don't think it is "guilt" -
I don't think it is "guilt" - though they try to play it like that.
They are so in love with what they view as their little biological clones that they think of them as extensions of themselves. They treat them like like little babies since that is how most men want to be treated by women. Taken care of and coddled like infants. Too bad they don't love their kids enough not to totally mess them up.
The Behemoth starts doing
The Behemoth starts doing VD's (SD13) homework for her when the zeroes start piling up. She's at a low F average in all her core subjects and has been for YEARS. The Behemoth would NEVER demand nor even ask her children to do anything as distasteful as homework or class assignments. There are so many big, fat GOOSE EGGS for marks on VD's online grades it's pathetic. Then out of the blue she starts getting "100s" on every homework assignment. And this kid is supposedly "learning disabled--other." The Behemoth had her tested repeatedly until she "got the answer she wanted." She would rather say that "yeah my kid is learning disabled" than "yeah I'm a piss poor free ranger of a non-parent."
So much for "best interest of the child."
Question is did you point it
Question is did you point it out to him? I started doing it and he is better now...He slips occasionally, but then he compares their ages which is BS. They are only three years apart.
Wow. Awesome replies. I love
Wow. Awesome replies. I love this place!
Yes, I confronted him. He stared at me for a minute and goes "I really didn't even think, I just answered what she asked." To which I replied "soooo... Her asking you to repeat things slowly so she could write them down didn't clue you in she was writing exactly what you said? Or me asking if you were doing her work?" He still claimed he didn't even realize what he was doing. I was pissed the whole night. The next night HE stayed up WITH me working on DS's project. After I gave up and let DS go to bed with the project unfinished, I pointed out that this was why I was so pissed and he better not say a word about how long it was taking DS to do the work. He apologized profusely and the next day more fun ensued with SD15. I must share that in another post bc it's just funny and he said he was "channeling his inner VetStepMommaBear" when he talked to her instead of letting her snow him again LOL. I guess there is a learning curve but hopefully he will see what he did was piss poor parenting and will not do it again. He says he won't. He was verbally and in other ways abused by his first wife and at moments I see how badly it has really affected him... My fear is that seeing how the older girls treat him, they have already learned too much from their mother and will treat him the same way (as they do).... But I'm hoping him standing up to them and how I treat him will change that... Even if it doesn't change THEM, maybe it will show them that HE won't allow himself to be treated that way anymore.
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