The parents are in charge. The two of you consider things to be pretty equitable and this "professional" having been told by a child thinks they're not. Find another counselor unless this guy is otherwise real real good.

Sounds like you two parents have things in hand. This kid, as was said above, is just trying to sweeten his own pot. I write that off as typical kid behavior and Daddy should set him down and tell him that the counselor is full of bull and knock off the "gimmies" routine.

Personally I wouldn't be putting money away for your step-kids college unless its in an account with only your name on it so you can take it with you should you change your mind about anything. Of course you'd have a beneficiary for it but as long as your kids are underage you'd want them to receive it perhaps via your mother or whoever.

Nothing in life is ever equal. Not in nuclear families, not in blended families, not in school, not in the work force.
In fact, it could be a lot worse as you don't have to do crap for him.

There was a study that revealed that nearly every single employee interviewed felt that they worked harder and/or did a better job than other coworkers. The point is, none of us see ourselves and life situations as they really are. Sure you SS thinks his wittle life is sooooooo unfair and he gets sooooo much less than his siblings. Honestly, he likely would feel the same even if they were bio sibs. And he will likely feel the same when someone in a future work place gets promoted and not him. Humane nature.

Is his counselor an idiot? Or one of those "feel good" types?

He wouldn't like me to be his counselor. I'd tell him "suck it up, buttercup you ain't entitled to ANYTHING. Be happy you got anything at all!

Yup, let it go. It's a ploy by SS. Sometimes I think they just want to complain about something, anything at all for attention.

Really, in blended families things can't be even unless you both have a 50/50 custody arrangement. If one of you is the custodial parent and the other is a non-custodial parent, things are going to be uneven as far as expenses go. The parent who has the kids more often needs more clothing at their house, school supplies to buy, etc.

Sounds to me like you two are doing great, and you and dh are on the same page. That's the most important thing! Definitely try and let this go right out of your head!

Time for a SPREADSHEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take an hour or so and put together a spreadsheet by month for the past 12mos and do a SWAG of total household spend by kid. Include % of rent, utilities, clothes, food, gifts, etc..... Don’t forget to include the cost of the “professional” therapist under the complaining Skid’s column.

As with most things in a blended family situation the only consistently effective way to deal with the "I am neglected and you love .... more" crap is with data and facts. There is no need for the column for each child to balance out. Some gifts will cost more than others but the basics per child spend will be close. They invariably are. Kids of different ages and genders require different things and have different interests. Some more spendy than others.

When you have the spreadsheet put together go to the next "professional" appointment and smack the therapist about the head and shoulders with a rolled up copy of the spreadsheet. Figuratively of course. These "professionals" often cause far more trouble than they resolve in my experience.

We used the spreadsheet method to bead my Skid's Sperm Clan into submission. They bitched and moaned about paying CS. We finally got sick of their whining and rolled out the spreadsheet. Housing, transportation, food, clothing, utilities, schooling, medical costs, dental costs, extracurriculars, entertainment, etc...... That got them to STFU for a while. Then they shifted tactics and started bitching about what "their" CS was being spent on. The idiots completely missed the point that $110/mo does not pay for shit for nothin. In their toothless moron minds that $110/mo was covering about $1300/mo in costs to raise the kid. To them CS was also taking food out of the mouths of the three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.

As usual facts and truth came to the rescue. The numbers do not lie.

Good luck.