We have the SD for the christmas weekend...how to deal!
I was under the impression that we did not have the SD this Christmas. I had spoken with my BF about this a few months before and We both decided that we would take her on christmas eve and have her thru Christmas morning and take her back to her moms in the afternoon. However, My BF just came and told me we have her from the 22nd until the 28th of December. That is WAY to much for me! I decided to have Christmas at my house this year, so my whole family will be coming. They are staying the week. I have my 2 children and my family is used to them.(obviously) They take them sledding ice skating, all other cool kinds of stuff... We have tried before when I took SD a couple times to my mothers for occasions only to have to leave because of how SD acts. As much as I tell him to discipline her or give her a time out...he does for the first day, but then he gets lazy and doesnt bother. I wont because i have chosen to disengage from the situation. Yes she is only 3 (but she does know what she is doing she is very smart) I do tell her dad to start disciplining but it falls on deaf ears...and yes,she is literally in the terrible 3 stage...Worse than than terrible 2s.I told him I can't have her here for that long. It would be too much on me and my 3 brothers and 3 sisters and their significant others (who have no children and like it that way lol) They will be staying at my place and the last thing I want is someone else's child causing chaos. Which SD does. There is no respect, she doesn't listen has fits of rages when she doesn't get what she wants, hits my daughter, wont let my kids even sit with her dad on the couch, wont sleep in her bed, and every other joyous thing a SD who gets coddled and treated like gold acts...so I find myself crawling in bed with my son in the middle of the night because she wakes up the whole house screaming and crying until she gets in our bed. I don't want to not have her around for my BF sake, but I cannot do the whole holiday....
I mentioned to my BF my concerns and he replied "ill just go to my parents with her for christmas" and I was actually ok with it..... I didn't even fight him on it, because yes, it's sad he wont be around for a few days (i'm sure he will come by on christmas day) but i feel kid of relieved.....I am trying to figure out the best solution to this without my BF getting mad...even though i didn't argue with him to stay...cause i really don't want his kid here.....she really is more work than my own....
What better solution do you
What better solution do you need than that?! Let him stay at his parents with her. Come for Christmas Day for a few hours, dinner, etc...
Maybe you can find stuff to do those other days? Sledding, ice skating, bowling, etc...
I find it easier to "deal" with my ss out from under my roof.
I would have had a fit about
I would have had a fit about a change in plans such as that without you agreeing to it. I would have had my FDH call back BM and rearrange those plans asap!
I understand where the uncertainly comes from. Its unfair to YOU to have to give up your BF so SD can have him because shes cant act right.
Ive been in the same situation where Ive gone to my families event by myself because he had SD. And in the future I see having to give up my FDH, and my BS will have to give up his daddy so that SD can have him at his families event.
I guess its just life in this 'blended family' bs, and if its easier for him to not be there then I guess so be it.
WHy are you with such a pussy
WHy are you with such a pussy for a BF? Honestly, nothing is attractive about a man who allows his children to behave like hellions and wrngs his hands and says "But she is only 33333333333333"
He needs to tell his ex that this is her year for haing DD, she is mistaken in her calculations. Or he can go to his parents for the duration.
One thing may be that she is very sensitive to other people being around. My BFF has a daughter who was the whiniest, miserable tantrum-throwing child I have ever had the misfortune to know. And she had excema and allergies. That girl was born crying and never ever stopped! She needed her distance from others and personal space like MILES of it. I didn't bleieve a word of it but in time my BFF showed me how she managed her and now she is 20 and the sweetest kindest girl I know. Lilly was just one sad girl.
The thing is if you want to remain with your BF you will have to accomodate her and learn to at least be kind and tolerate her. She sounds very unlovable, the poor thing!
This may sound mean, but my
This may sound mean, but my FDH has a trick for his 4 year old girl. She has been going through terrible 2's for 2 years now, (BM didnt correct behavior) so for Gatherings and things like that when she acts up he gets the car seat out of the car and locks her in it in a room away from everyone to take a nap, we have found when she is misbehaving is when she needs a nap only she wont stay in a bed so he had come up with that idea. She cant unbuckle it her self yet and 9 times out of 10 after 5 minutes she is passed out and he goes back in, unbuckles her and puts her in a bed. It always works.
However right now she is a little monster because BM took off and nothing is working, the little shit has bitten and drew blood on me twice! (I do love her)