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Step son and bio son clash

Jennifer12's picture

Submitted by Jennifer12 on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 4:01am

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Blended Family Issues

My bs and ss clash and 4 years on everything seems to be getting worse !!! They are both 7 ( 6 days apart ) and the jealousy between them is unbelievable. There's not a day that goes by that we don't have bickering , lies , tears , tension ..... Stress upon our family life ! When we speak to them they admit they like each other , my bio sons started to say he hates him but we have narrowed this down and he just dislikes him sometimes. My ss comes for tea twice a week and every other weekend , father works a lot so I look after s children 24/7 when they are here ! Any advice or similar situations . Thank you

ncgal1980's picture

Submitted by ncgal1980 on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 8:22am

My three stepsons gang up on my older BS from time to time, and their dad falls for it whenever his boys come crying to him about something BS supposedly said or did. I know my BS isn't perfect, but I've personally witnessed my stepsons lying outright to DH, and DH believes everything they say.

I separate them if it gets really bad. I hate to do it, but I send my BS to some other part of the house and tell my stepsons not to get ANYWHERE near him until I say they can. It's hard on BS, because a lot of the time, he ends up feeling like he's being punished when he didn't do anything wrong, but I do it to prevent the drama from escalating even further than it already has. Let the stepkids fight amongst themselves, I don't care. I stay out of it. But I don't want them dragging my BS into it.

Again, I know my BS isn't perfect, but he's becoming the scapegoat for a lot of the dumb shit my stepsons do, and I'm getting sick of it.

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Mon, 04/21/2014 - 9:10am

Separation. In all honesty, sometimes my DH annoys the crap out of me. Kids have those feelings but don't understand how to navigate them the way adults do. Separation can be a helpful tool for calming them down.

tabby yabba do's picture

Submitted by tabby yabba do on Wed, 03/19/2014 - 10:46am

I thought the same thing as LadyFace.

Your situation sounds a lot like a neighborhood-mom I know who's two kids (14 months apart, biological nuclear family) have terrible, knock down, drag out fights. The kind that are sort of scary to witness, but seem to be the norm for them.

I hope they out grow it, and find a relationship someday.