I had step parents and got over the ickiness issue of them being affectionate with my parents...it is part of being in a relationship & the kids need to accept it.

Of course, I personally don't go OTT with my SO but I certainly wouldn't stop being affectionate simply because a Skid had issues with it

Just my humble opinion.

Welcome Tamm.

Since you remember similar feelings growing up, i guess just think about what would have made you more comfortable. Also, did it really affect you that much to see it? Even if it was weird.

I guess to me, I try to be careful mostly so the skid doesn't go tell BM something and blow it out of proportion. But, otherwise i don't really see anything wrong with it. Infact, it's kind of a good thing. (as long as it's not over the top lovey dovey)

Kids will model their relationships after what they saw growing up. It sounds so simple and obvious but we always forget this. If something is extreme they might hit the other end of the pendulum, but just as often they end up copying the behavior.

So, if you and your husband have a good relationship and you're sweet to each other giving hugs here and there or a kiss when he gets home. That's a good thing. The kids will get used to it, and they might even imitate the same behavior when they end up in a relationship. Which, is perfectly healthy. So, it doesn't seem like there is any harm in it.

I know i am hesitant to hold my bf's hand or give him a kiss if his daughter is around, afraid it will be weird for her. But, the only example she's seen so far is a mom and dad who fought all the time, who are politely civil to each other otherwise, and no physical contact. I actually want her to be able to see another relationship that is healthy, just so she can see the difference. (we limit it to holding hands, a simple kiss on the cheek or lips, and innocent hugs)

All kids will complain. Ewwwww mom(gf)/dad(bf) stop it! But i don't think it's THAT big of a deal. I teased my own parents when they got all lovey. But, they set a really great example of a good relationship. Now that i'm older and have had a few relationships i am glad to have had that example to reference.

I remember being a kid and being grossed out when both of my bio parents did that! Kids will complain regardless! I don't think there is anything wrong with showing your children that its ok to show/embrace that kind of love when you are in an adult relationship!

When I lived with both my bioparents, I didn't like seeing them smooch. When I lived with my mom and stepdad, I didn't like seeing them smooch. Too bad so sad for me. I didn't get a say on that issue, and that's the way it should be.

I'd much rather have my DD15 see my husband kissing me than a worse alternative.

When my DH's oldest grandson,13,saw us hug and kiss his response was, "Ewww, old people love." It cracked us both up! Frankly, any kid of a certain age can be uncomfortable with adults displays of affection. No one wants to think that their parents actually have sex.

It's not up to the children, bio or skid, to dictate how the ADULTS treat each other in their own home. As long as your PDA's are respectful (smooches, hugs, hand-holding, arm around the shoulder) then there is NOTHING wrong with showing affection in front of any child.

If the kid doesn't like it, the little turds can go to another room. I wish my parents had been more affectionate with each other when I was growing up. Now, because of what I didn't witness, I feel very uncomfortable with basic PDA.

I always show affection for my DH in front of my SS - the last 3 years that his parents were together were quite awful for him - they fought constantly and there was no affection. Now BM is single and dates a married man that SS had never met and probably will never meet but BM does tell SS that she dates A LOT of men (yes he told DH and I that quite proudly that his mother does a lot of men - he was about 11 at the time and did not understand what does a lot of men meant - I told him to stop saying that it made his mother sound cheap) I do show affection in front of SS because DH and my relationship is the only healthy relationship that he sees in his family. All of his aunts and uncles are divorced and most if not all have cheated on their spouses and his grandfather cheated on his grandmother and his slut of a mother cheated on my DH - so I always feel that at least he sees in one couple a good and healthy and loving relationship. My parents always showed their love in front of us kids and we really did not have a say in the matter - as long as it is appropriate I say continue showing affection!! Good God woman with all of those kids you are lucky you have the energy to show anything - lol

Yeah I hated it when my mother and stepdad smooched in front of us, but they went too far...comments, hands up shirts, and they were assholes so that didn't help much :O
But I actually thought it was really sweet when my dad and stepMOM kissed or hugged. Because it was real, and it was appropriate.
My stepkids sometimes say "No! My stepmommy!" when me and DH kiss...but I kinda like it. We make no excuses for loving each other and needing "us" time...cause that's just healthy and a fact of life, kiddos!
As soon as they fall in love and discover kissing - they'll get. Might not like it, but they'll get it

DH and I hug and smooch here and there and my bios have never said anything about it (BD13 is from my first marriage) but SD8 said something just today. It wasn't a complaint and was more of an afterthought about her BM and her SD and how they never hug or kiss or say "I love you". I told her that was really sad but that her Dad and I loved each other very much and it was OK to show that you love someone and if it bothered her that much then she could leave the room or look away. Plain and simple! We don't go out of way to make anyone feel uncomfortable but we do show affection to one another if and when we want to!

As long as it isn't overboard groping I don't see a problem with showing affection. I think if it is healthy affection in a restrained amount it is good for them to see a healthy couple who love eachother, kids need to see what a healthy couple looks like so they can try to have that with there future significant other. My daughter is 1 and she claps and smiles if me and my dh kiss, it makes her happy expecially if we then go over and give her a kiss. It doesn't seem to bother my ss7 at all either, although when his mom was dateing awhile back he did say it bothered him that her boyfriend would hold her hand, but my dh talked to him about it and said that if it made mom happy then it should make him happy. After that he seemed fine, he wanted his mom happy and he relized it didn't take away from him so he moved on.

my bio kids will laugh and say ewwww if my fdh and I kiss in front of them. They don't care that he's not their father, who is currently not in their life. My issue is that I give affection to THEM and not to my SKID and i'm sure he's got to notice, but again, I can't help it. I don't feel affection for my skid and I do for my bio kids. And I try, when he hugs me and stuff I do hug back and when he tells me he loves me i tell him back, i just can't initiate any affection towards him.

My parents divorced when I was 5. My dad remarried. He and my stepmom were definitely affectionate: kissing (no tongue involved), holding hands, hugging, etc. I never felt it was weird because she wasn't my mom since I remembered what my parents' marriage was like and it was not a happy household. I felt it was weird because "ew, grown ups doing romantic stuff...grown ups that I can't see or imagine in that way."

I suspect a lot of your stepdaughter's discomfort is just seeing her dad, a man she does not see in any way shape or form as a sexual being, having obvious affections to that element.

And if it is because you're not her mother, then maybe your husband needs to sit down with her and just have a talk. Nothing confrontational, just make it clear that part of a normal, loving relationship is physical touch and intimacy. Find out if there is a specific action that irritates her the most and what it is. If it is something you guys are willing to cut back on a touch like kissing a lot in the kitchen but holding hands or hugs don't bother her, maybe make that compromise for her?

I don't really have this issue since my stepson is 2.5 and he has no memories of his parents together, and lucky for him considering his mother was physically abusive to his father who realized that with 12 inches and 70 pounds of weight over his babymomma, if he had retaliated he would have been branded the abuser. He sees me and his dad be affectionate. We hug, we kiss, his dad pulls me into his lap sometimes and tickles me, etc. He mostly just giggles at it. Occasionally he'll yell out "NO KISS!" and when we do, he just laughs. If he's feeling left out of the affection, he just climbs up in the middle of us and everything shifts to play with the toddler and as soon as he runs away to escape the hug/tickle fest, it goes back to us just enjoying each other's touch. I know it makes the kid feel more secure because the two people that are around him the most obviously care for each other.

My DH and I were young newlyweds, 19 and 20, so we were constantly silly w/ each other. CTBB would think it was funny! DH would chase me with the hose- CTBB would join in, either running w/ me or helping DH.I think the trick is, which we just stumbled upon actually, is to act natural. Do what feels right for your family. CTBB asked DH once if i had a cousin his age! LOL

I personally don’t think it really matters if it’s your bio-parents or a bio and a step-parent; I think all kids, especially teenagers, can be grossed out or uncomfortable seeing adults being affectionate. I definitely would not stop what you are doing, as long as it is not over the top, which you said it is not. Kids model their future relationships after what they see growing up, so you want them to see that being affectionate is a good thing!