This community has been so helpful to me but now I feel I need your help more than ever...I'll try to keep it brief.

My SO and I had an arguement last night and now it's a matter of do we stay together or not and I don't know what to do but I want to to do the right thing for my son (9 yrs) and his kids (girl 6 and boy too. We've been living together for nearly a year and it hasn't been easy. He has his kids every other weekend (but would like them more) and I have mine full time - his Dad only takes him every other weekend. We both know that "blending" families (I know that's an oxy moron) is difficult but we are trying.

So, we'd planned to go to my SO's brother's house today and spend the night because he needed someone to watch the animals. We talked about it all week and how it would be fun for the kids and a change of scenery for us. We don't have a lot of money so it would be like a little vaca for us almost in a bigger house. Late in the week my SO became a bit withdrawn and seemed like he didn't really want to spend much time with me. He needs his space and I get that. I asked him if he'd prefer to take his kids to his brother's and stay there alone to have time alone with his kids (he's very possessive of his kids and likes time alone with them which I understand). He didn't respond when I said that and I didn't call him out on it but for the rest of the week I kind of thought he didn't want me to go, even though he invited me earlier in the week, but that he didn't want to upset me by saying so. You know I'm a pretty laid back easy going girl who doesn't need every minute of her man's time so I think if he'd been loving & attentive to me earlier int he week and met my needs and then said, 'Gee honey, I'd love to be alone with my kids at my brother's on SAturday', I'd of been totally ok with that but since he was so distant late in the week I admit I would have been upset if he'd said he wanted to go without me. But understand I give this guy plenty of space to hang with friends/family & such and as far as that goes I'm really cool about all that and always have been.

Anyway, last night his kids came for the weekend. He went on and on about what time THEY were leaving to go to his brother's and what THEY were going to do that day. He didn't even include me or my son. Granted my son was with his Dad and we'd no idea what time he'd be home and SO said that's why he worded it that way but I guess I was already on the defensive feeling hurt & rejected that he didn't want us there. A few other issues came up in that my ex husband got my son a guinea pig without askimg me and expects me to just take it in and that my ex who watches my son before and after school while I work has been in our house (was formally my house but SO moved in) and snooping a bit.

So last night my SO told me that he doesn't like the relationship I have with my ex, that I depend on him too much. I need someone to watch my son while I work & cannot afford child care! Yes my ex and I do still have a few dealings together as far as business and our son is concerned but it's not like we want anything at all to do with one another. We are just trying to parent/support our kid. You know my SO's ex wife is the one that called him at nearly eleven at night crying because her new husband beat the crud out of her and he ran to her rescue yet he says my relationship with my ex is to close and I rely on him too much? Are you f*5&ing kidding me? Then my SO also said that I let my son control my life and I spoil him and allow him to get away with too much and basically if I allowed the guinea pig he was leaving. Now my son is an only child but I try hard NOT to spoil him. He can get a bit bossy and talk back sometimes but he's 9! My SO's kids aren't angels either (although he likes to think so)- the girl whines and tattles constantly and he babies and favors her even over his own son and the boy is a terror (ADHD) and my SO refuses to give him his meds when he is here for the weekend so he's wild and totally out of control. When my SO's kids are here we cannot get a milliseoond together nor can we get a moment's peace. It's constant demands, whining, crying, screaming and mayhem! I didn't say any of this to him last night mind you. I just tried to explain why I'm working with my ex on getting things setteled & that I'm working with my son on not talking back but it's taking time.

So next thing I know my SO says, "I need to get MY OWN place." I know he doesn't like living here at this house I had before him (but my ex-H never lived here) and we are working on getting a place together or we were but suddently he comes out and says not that he wants to move out of this place or wants to be with me but not here but that he needs his OWN place! To me he might as well of said, "I don't want to be with you anymore" I practically ran to the bathroom crying. When I came out he was sound asleep or pretending to be on the sofa. I was so upset that he could just pass out and not even consider how much he'd just hurt me!

So today he didn't really speak to me much all morning as he prepared to go to his brother's and I stayed away from him. Right before leaving he says, 'do you want to talk now or on Sunday?' which basically said to me, "don't even think about coming to my brother's house and he figured I'd say Sunday which would give him the weekend alone with his perfect angels (NOT). The fact that he waited nearly four hours until right before he walked out the door to ask me or talk to me spoke volumes about his ulterior motive. I told him I didn't know and he asked if I still wanted to see/be with him and I told him I do not know to which he responded by putting his arm around me and rubbing my back as if concerned. Then I told him, "It's not that I don't want to see and/or be with you, because I really do (I do really love this man) however I don't want you to stay here in this house with me if you are unhappy. On the other hand, I don't think that I would be happy if you got your own place and then just called me when it was convenient for you or you decided you wanted to see me (which would probably be like every other week when he MIGHT want sex) and the rest of the time you went on as if I didn't exist." He said yeah that it did sound very one sided and I said it was downright selfish. Then he made some excuses as to why he didn't think that we would ever get a place of our own together and if we did it would be problematic but they were all pretty lame. Basically what he was saying was that although we talked about moving out of the place we are in now and geting a place 'together' (both names on the lease) he said he felt it would never happen and that I was just dragging my feet on that. Then he said my son would be mad at him because my SO doesn't want our dog if we move (and I don't blame him the dog is not the best and pees in the house sometimes). Right before he left I told him that I'd already told my Land Lady I was moving soon and set a date of no later than 6/1 and that I was already calling on rentals so that he would understand it's not that I'm promising him something I'm not willing to fulfull and as far as the dog I told him I'd never tell my son we have to get rid of the dog because SO doesn't like it. You don't tell a kid that - I'd tell him we couldn't have him where we are moving or take the blame on myself. Then SO softened a bit and asked if I would 'stop by' his bros house (we were all supposed to have a fun sleep over mind you) and I said maybe. He kissed me and I just turned and said bye because I had to leave the room as I was starting to tear up and cry.

I've spent the whole day worried about what he will say/decide and trying to figure out my position on this mess. I don't want to lose him, I love him and need him and want him and our kids all get along well and we're all pretty well bonded, however, I will NOT beg him to stay here and/or be with me nor do I think I can go back to square one with him living elsewhere because I feel like it's not that he doesn't like this house but that he doesn't want to live with US personally. My SO did call about an hour ago and left a cold message (I didn't answer) saying he was at his brother's and not going anywehre so I could 'stop by' if I wanted to. I don't know what to so at this point. Do I go there, do I talk it out, do I dump him, what do I do if he dumps me? I'm a mess and I don't know what to do, please help!!!

I have been so loving, kind affectionate and sweet to this man. I cook for him, try to make sure the house is clean when he comes home and I'm looking pretty. I welcomed his kids with open arms and they really adore me and I them, and I've bent over backwards to make this man happy. There is NO way in hell that I think he can find anyone better than me or that will put up with his issues like I do. Why can't he see that and at least fight for me and us just a tiny bit? What should I do?