For the past 8 years, I've been in a blended family. I have 2 Skids (SS 15 and SD 19), and I have a 14 yr old DS of my own, who lives with us 100% of the time (his BD is not part of his life by choice). My Skids have gone back and forth between our house and their BM's since I've known them (50/50 custody). We've had issues with boundaries, favoritism of our own kids, control issues regarding how to I should or should not speak to my Skids, and issues with my Skids being gone at their mother's every other week while my DS is always with us. Resentment/negative feelings have been building and communication between my husband and I has broken down. Over the years, in order to avoid blow ups with my DH or hurt feelings on part of my Skids, I've learned to hold my tongue/bottle my feelings. The issues are recurring- especially with my DH's parenting or "coddling" of his kids and tendency to be stricter with my DS. I set rules and expectations of my DS (who is the youngest of the 3 kids), whereas, my husband tends to be more permissive and indirect with parenting his kids. His permissiveness is most obvoius with my 19 yr. old SD. In his eyes, she can do no wrong. She is the oldest, a self-described "adult,"  but my DH expects more of my 14 yr old DS and my 15 yr old SS than of her. She has never had a job and is always asking my husband for money, although she tells him she feels like a "burden" (a manipulation in my eyes).  She's currently home from college and still isn't attempting to find a job. She instead does nothing but sits on her cell phone and monopolizes my DH's ear when he's home. She never cleans up after herself, e.g., leaves her dirty dishes, personal items all over the house, and her bedroom and shared kids' bathroom are like a *bomb* hit with makeup wipes on the floor, etc... I don't say anything to her, and I instead will leave her dishes in the sink or leave her items in front of her bedroom door (she'll just step over them as she enters her room!). She is a complete narcissist (go figure) and lazy, and expects my DH to listen to her rant on and on about herself sometimes for hours on end. It's exhausting and utterly annoying to witness and my DH thinks she's adorable and just giggles at her self-absorbed, scatterbrained stories. I often feel invisible when she's around (which is every minute of our week with my Skids thanks to COVID), and when she's not around, my DH is distant and works later hours away from my DS and I. I apologize if I sound negative or like a jealous wife, but this is the first time in years I've been able to vent to anyone who might relate. I've read about this happening in marriages, especially those with Skids, so I've told my DH that we need to make our marriage a priority with more "date nights" or "adult getaways", but they never happen because the only getaways my DH wants to do are with the whole family. He says he'll do a date night when Skids are at their mom's house, but never when they're with us (my DS would have to stay at grandma's or friend's house, but with COVID, we can't risk it...). What does this lack of prioritizing our marriage tell my DS and Skids regarding where I stand and where they stand in the priority list with my DH? Not to mention modeling how to have a successful marriage. Yes, my DH and I have alot to work on, but he really is a good man whom I love dearly, and I am NOT ready to call it quits. Anyway, I'd love some constructive feedback from those of you who can relate to any of these blended family/SD issues.  TIA!