I believe future stepparents should "be required" to read this(and other)StepFamily websites to outline the possible problems ahead !!!
Granted,there are good outcomes but far too many nasty situations,JMO !!!
Honestly, I would never have believed I'd be one on this site. I mean, DH and I discussed in grave details what we both wanted in a spouse, in a family and the expectations from our children. It matched up totally, what could possibly go wrong.
I don't know that FDH lied on purpose, in my case, but he certainly was/is deluded.
But yes, we also discussed our kids, being a parent, what we wanted, how we would handle certain things...all of his answers sounded good in theory. They just either haven't panned out in practice or he has a warped vision of reality.
They live in their own world, where they say it will be this way, we will do it that way, the rules will be blah blah blah, I will enforce them by x, y and z. When it really happens and the skid is living with you, what happens? Oh, they forget, they bend the rules at their whim, they get tired and dont want to deal with the skid/their own kid.
Just last night, DH let SD9 on youtube. We had talked about and set firm rules because of BM letting SD have total access to the internet that we didnt agree with. SD9 IS NOT allowed to go on youtube or fb or anything, in fact she is banned from the computer. So he gives her his phone to listen to music on youtube? REALLY DH? WTF? I said, wow, hope you enjoy breaking rules because she will be a young mom at 16 with that kind of lazy ass parenting.
Honestly, I would never have
Honestly, I would never have believed I'd be one on this site. I mean, DH and I discussed in grave details what we both wanted in a spouse, in a family and the expectations from our children. It matched up totally, what could possibly go wrong.
men lie.
I don't know that FDH lied on
I don't know that FDH lied on purpose, in my case, but he certainly was/is deluded.
But yes, we also discussed our kids, being a parent, what we wanted, how we would handle certain things...all of his answers sounded good in theory. They just either haven't panned out in practice or he has a warped vision of reality.
They live in their own world,
They live in their own world, where they say it will be this way, we will do it that way, the rules will be blah blah blah, I will enforce them by x, y and z. When it really happens and the skid is living with you, what happens? Oh, they forget, they bend the rules at their whim, they get tired and dont want to deal with the skid/their own kid.
Just last night, DH let SD9 on youtube. We had talked about and set firm rules because of BM letting SD have total access to the internet that we didnt agree with. SD9 IS NOT allowed to go on youtube or fb or anything, in fact she is banned from the computer. So he gives her his phone to listen to music on youtube? REALLY DH? WTF? I said, wow, hope you enjoy breaking rules because she will be a young mom at 16 with that kind of lazy ass parenting.