Question about 3 year old Boys behavior
me and the boyfriend have quite a few different veiw points when it comes to his son. so I'm here to find out if I'm just stupid for assuming something when I don't have kids of my own, or if he is just in denial that anything is wrong with his kid.
2 days ago, we were in the process of cleaning up the house that were getting ready to move in, my boyfriend, his parents, and his son were all there during this. well his son pulled his basketball goal out of his bed room, and was trying to place it in front of some exspensive things we hadn't put away yet. I told him no and move the goal to another room away from anything breakable, he argued with me and finally gave up. I walked into the bathroom, and when I came out he had moved the goal right back into the place that I told him not to put it. so I moved it out again. well I was talking with boyfriends mom, and his son just walks up to me and punches me in the stomach as hard as he can and acts like its nothing, I raised my voice, and told him "you do not hit me". maybe 15 minutes later, hes already getting into stuff hes not suppose to be getting into, he went into the basement and got some sharp gardening tools and was trying to sneak them out the front door, I took the tools from him, told him hes not allowed to play with these. and he threw a horrible fit, he starts yelling and saying he was putting them up. I tried to explain to him that they were already put up, but the entire time hes yelling at me in a hateful voice "listen to me, listen to me, I was putting them, Listen to me!" I'm starting to get very frustrated with him acting this way and was pretty angry at this point. I told him "No, I am not gonna listen to you, you listen to me, you are not allowed to have these, don't touch them again" I took them to the basement put them back, and was headed to go back upstairs. he was sitting on one of the steps, then kicked me with everything he had, and I almost fell backwards. If i had not been holding on the rail I probably would have fell. both times the grandparents where present, and they didn't say a thing to him, I told my boyfriend and he said that if i didnt tell him right as it happens he wont know what he is getting punished for. and even though he has told me to punish him, with his parents around I cant really do that, because they get upset any time someone punishes him.
a week previous to this, I sat down in the living room, got up for a moment, came back and he was sitting on the couch where I was sitting, then told me he didnt want me sitting there, I sat down anyways, and he get upset as soon as I did, and cried for 20 minutes. the next day same thing, went in there to sit down on the couch, he purposly spreads out so that I can not sit down, then throws a fit when someone makes him move. shortly after he starts kicking one of his chairs around the living room. later that night, he gos into the bedroom, and I go in there to get on the computer, and in his hateful voice, says "I don't wan't you in here, go away"
If hes not disrespecting me this way, hes doing it to someone else. and his Behavior is like this every day.
I keep trying to bring up to my boyfriend that this is not normal behavior, that I have been around many kids, and even been with guys before with sons that age, and not once did they act out like this on a daily basis. and my reasoning for this is, he does not get punished every time he acts out, someone always ends up feeling sorry for him when he does get punished and then tells him its okay, and he is very spoiled.
But he told me that hes a 3 year old boy, they like to wrestle and that its normal for him. he tells me Ill have to punish him, even though I am not the parent. my boyfriends parents complained about how his ex wives boyfriend was spaking him and punishing him, and hated him, but then my boyfriend tells me "that's different" I don't really see how its different, I'm the girlfriend of one of the parents, and so was that guy. so I'm positive they would hate me for it too.
So anyways, the question is.. from your own experience, Is that the normal behavior of a 3 year old boy?
so many times I do want to
so many times I do want to get on to him for this stuff, and correct all these things he is doing wrong, but fear comes in big time, sense no one else really seems to crack down on him, and I'm not even one of the biological parents, or grandparents. I sometimes feel that it would be extremely weird if I was the number one enforcer of punishment. plus something I left out, they had a restraining order put on the ex wives boyfriend, even though he was just doing a normal spank on the butt or time outs, and I remember them complaining about how he wouldn't let him sleep in the bed with him and his girlfriend (ex wife). they griped about what I think are pretty normal acceptable things, as if it was the worse thing in the world for the boy to go through. and so many times my boyfriend has told me that I have a "kids should be seen, not heard attitude" over small things, like me saying its okay for him to tell his son, that he don't want to play with him sometimes, sense he already plays with him most of the day. that way we could have some time together to. so through out the entire relationship I have felt like when it comes to his son, that I am on thin ice, I always have this gut feeling that when I do start breaking down on him, its gonna cause some major issues from the entire family, and that is not a fun thing to think about. and my boyfriend being a huge family person and wanting to always be around them, would really make things hard on me. Id have grandparents who would hate me, a kid who hates me, a ex wife who would hate me. and a boyfriend who would eventually get angry because I'm giving too many time outs. so many times I think to myself, what the heck did i get myself into! I just wish He would start punishing his kid more, stand up to his parents about it. Then I wouldn't feel like the wicked witch or something. I know there going to have that attitude, who is she to come into our lives and treat that baby that way, she has no right to do that. and sense where always around my boyfriends parents sense our house isn't finished yet, I know if I started now it would be an automatic uproar.
I don't think a child is evil, but I do think they can act evil if everyone lets them walk all over them. my sister was treated the same way as him growing up, I love her to death, but she treated my parents horrible. and now that she is older looks down on them very much and thinks they owe her the world. and if there anything like my parents he will end up the same way. and that way of acting is simply annoying. I know eventually I'm going to have to get on to him, cause I do not want to be treated the way my parents were. its just the hole situation really sucks if your on my end of things.
oh, i feel kinda silly now
oh, i feel kinda silly now for thinking your qoute was a question you asked me. lol
glad to know I meet the
glad to know I meet the qualifications hahaha
but very clever, I don't know why I didn't think of that before, probably to stressed about it to think clearly. I'm going to have to start this writing down thing, as he has been known to switch things around on me. then if anyone tried anything, I could just be like.. "singed written consent" haha
that was the best crappy post ever!even though short and to the point, I feel your advice could take away a lot of confusion with whats been an ongoing issue and worry. Thank you
I think alot of what your SS
I think alot of what your SS is doing in within the realm of normal 3 year old behavior. But he is definately testing authority and boundaries right now, so you really need to have a plan of action or he will get out of control if left unchecked.
I think you and your BF need to decide on a punishment for SS's bad behaviors that is agreeable to both of you and be CONSISTANT!! Once you have had your discussion and you come up with a plan that works for you, you need to not be concerned about what your BF's parents think about your discipline choices. This is your BF's son, and his home and unless your agreed upon discipline is something along the lines of chaining SS to the raidator, then his parents have no business passing judgment and should leave the parenting to your BF (and you)
Wow I feel really sorry for
Wow I feel really sorry for anyone responsibile for his well being. He's being allowed to punch and kick people with no consquences wow. You were not put on this earth to be anyone's punching bag and your FH and his parents need to be told that. Your a much calmer person than I am he would have been corrected immed in front of god if he hit me.