Wow, I was up late and thinking, did a google search and now I feel like I have found a new home!! I wish I had found you guys years ago. I have read through so many of your posts and can relate to so much in them, it is really unbelievable. I hate all the cliches you hear from everyone and read everywhere else. Yes, I did know that my husband had a child before we got into this relationship (we dated also as teenagers), but did I sign up to be treated like shit because of it? No, I did not.
Mine and my husband's story is not pretty. Yes, we made some mistakes in the beginning, and it sounds like a cliche, but we are soulmates. He and I have been through more together than some couples married 50 years and are all the more closer because of it. At the beginning of our relationship his daughter loved me to death. I was the complete opposite of her mom. She thought of me like a friend. She was 6 at the time. Everything was just great. It was hard on he and I because we were not married he would have to go stay at his parents house on the weekends he had her. His ex-wife (identified in the contacts list in my phone as dumb bitch) thought that they should get back together. Everytime it was time to pick the kid up or drop her off it was always some drama. She would keep my husband there forever arguing and fussing. It got to the point that after he and I were married he chose to no longer go get her because he said he wasn't going to deal with it anymore. It used to really piss me off when he was still going because he would be there forever just arguing. What is the point?
Then when it was my turn to do the pick up/drop off it was she and I who would stand on her deck and argue. The bitch would go out of her way to make it difficult for us to get SD or take SD home because she would not be there and we would end up having to take her to one of her family member's homes or a friend. Finally my husband grew some because I put my foot down with him and explained that I was tired of riding all over the county and burning up our gas to suit her needs when the bitch was getting $635 a month in child support plus insurance.
Long story short, finally my in laws started doing the pick up/drop off for us. This was great until the brat decided one weekend on our daughter's birthday that she wasn't going to come unless we went to pick her up. She stayed with her mom that weekend. I told my husband we were not going to start playing into that manipulation. I was noticing how manipulative she was starting to become. If she actually made it to our house on the weekends she was supposed to come, because many times she would call and say she had plans and couldn't come (her mom loved to make plans on our weekend to piss my husband off and start an argument so she could get attention from him). It got to the point where she would never make it through a whole weekend without going home. I am not going to lie, I encouraged her to go home. As soon as she would start the crying BS that was it, I was done. It was so bad that our daughter Meg would look at her as soon as she started crying and say "are you going home to your mom now?" and she was only a toddler.
To bring you to current day: about a year ago the SD wrote and mailed my husband a letter telling him that when she comes she does not want to see me or her sister, she wants to only see him (we always do things as a FAMILY). The weekend that she was supposed to come after we received that letter in the mail she called a couple of nights prior to and told him that she was not going to come anymore and for her granny and papa not to show up to get her unless she called us and said she wanted to come. My husband told her that was fine if that is what SHE wanted to do and that we have always just wanted her to be happy. Then she sent him an email later and said that he really hurt her feelings. like I said manipulative. ha ha, you little brat was what I was thinking. She just wanted him to fight for her I guess and then like her mom got disappointed. Her mom and her family have always trashed me and my husband in front of her. So it really was no suprise when all of a sudden I was the bad guy. She has always been told how I stole her daddy away which is not entirely true at all. She has been told so many things that a child should not have even been told at all.
Her dumbass mama loves to get on facebook and trash my husband and talk about what a shitty father he is and how I control his every move. No, I do not because if I had my way about it, he would sign those rights right over. All he is to her is just a payor of child support. He refers to it as his loan. He says he will be so glad once his loan is paid off. I will be too. I count down the damn days. The most recent contact we had with SD was in the form of email where she wrote "hi daddy, not A_____" my name. He wrote her back and said that I was his wife and that she needed to be respectful of that. Well, you know that started all the BS again.
At this point, she is not welcome in my home. We have a 5 year old daughter who has had her feelings hurt by this brat so many times. She will look at old pictures and say "that is when SD still wanted to come." I am not going to expose my child to being hurt like that again. Also I don't want her little disrespectful ass here. I know she will come in with a piss poor attitude and I am not going to deal with it. Like I said, I love my husband so much. There has been many times that I have really wondered why I got myself into this, and what did I do to deserve to have to deal with this BS. She is not coming right now and I hope she never comes back. I really do. I have so much more I could say, but I know it's long enough. It will just make for more posting later. Thanks for reading my vent!