Thanks for the feedback, I'm already using the knowledge is power plan, and use it at every opportunity, believe me!! I've told him I don't want to cook for her or anything else. He found that hard to accept?? What does he think I am? A robot!! No, I too have feelings that he needs to respect. He said we've got to make the best of a bad situation!! My plan is to make her feel as uncomfortable as she makes me and if there's a war there's a war!! So be it!! She is an adult now and if she wants to play the game then I'm the opposition.
Yes, it's gonna be hard but if she leaves again of her own volition then I've won.
She left last summer cos she couldn't stand living at the house anymore, spent the summer in a rented room, demanded her father saw her for lunch every week, oh yes always her terms. She wouldn't come to the house if I was there cos she couldn't stand me, went off to uni, made a big drama at Xmas and said she was only staying at Xmas because her father wants her to, then says she's gonna kill herself cos she feels she hasnt got a home and now wants to be here for the duration. In my mind the leaving last year was to see if daddy would send me packing and choose her to stay, when he let her go willingly she then had to change her tactic and return to make it unbearable for me so I leave. I had thought of renting a place for that time to come but why should I have to move out. Mind you, it would make her feel uncomfortable as her father would basically on his own and she would feel responsible for my leaving, or would she??

Anyway, let the battle commence, I am preparing myself for a few war wounds....