My step son is the golden child and I am second along with my kids
Now I know some ppl say "he had baggage (and so did I ) when you met him. YES that is so true. However, we've been married for two months (together for three years) and all of a sudden I am not allowed to tell my SS8 that its not ok to say my dinners are "disgusting" I am SO SICK OF HEARING I don't like this its gross. RUDE. and my husband out of nowhere said that if that is the case my youngest who is 4 should starve. I told him tonight, "I said nothing about not eating what he doesn't like if he doesn't like brown rice FINE but I am SICK of hearing its DISGUSTING" there is NOTHING wrong with brown rice with a little bit of butter on it!!! How is there anything wrong with that!!!? I told my husband , If he doesn't like it he doesn't need to eat it, thats fine, I don't eat things I don't like , but I don't want to hear ITS GROSS or ITS DIGUSTING!! He gave me the rundown on how my youngest should starve if thats the case. My youngest never says its gross, he tells me in HIS 4 YEAR OLD VOICE "momma I don't want that ok?" I am FINE with that out of my SS8 too, but not this ITS DISGUSTING SHIT.
I AM SICK TO DEATH latley of my stepson! I mean is it possible I don't like kids except my own (I find myself kinda annoyed my children other than my own) does this make me a bad person? Should I be trying to warm up more? My husband dislikes my children and I am well aware of this. he does to the point that if my child needed watching for a half hour I'd have to find a sitter, FINE I've dealt with that (even though I feel a family should be a family blended or not and even though my ss8 is annoying I'd still care for him when my husband is off doing whatever because thats part of being a mom or stepmom)
SO WHAT DO I DO!? He's annoying me to no end! He's emotional for no reason, breaking down over STUPID stuff that my kids would NEVER cry over, and I just ignore him, I've TRIED to bond with him but he's a obnoxious kid. My husband though, its "HIS BOY" because its his only son even though his EX "didn't know you had to take BC every day" DUH and his son was forced on him he's stepped up and has Full Custody,good for my husband, he's a good man. BUT I CAN'T STAND that his son can DO NO WRONG and is NEVER WRONG
he can tare the hell out of my sons bed while playing and there is NO reprimanding . the last time he did that I went into his room and told him "tear my sons bed apart again and I will MAKE SURE to tear yours apart. QUIT IT" he said Okayyyyy but of course I walk upstairs while they are playing and he's up on my sons bed jumping around yelling and its a MESS. He saw me and Ran (call me a evil step mom I don't care Lol) and I told him NEXT TIME!!!
ughhhhhh I just needed to vent and I have HAD IT UP TO HERE with the GOLDEN CHILD so much that I cannot even eat dinner with him, I shovel and leave the table before I explode at him how he eats his fork, slurps his milk, cuts his meat like he had a problem throwing meat all over the table and anything else on his plate, talks like a baby to be funny , stomps around the house like he's 800 lbs and over all is JUST ANNOYING!!!
When my husband told me he wasn't clicking with my kids I was devistated and wanted him to TRY he has and its still not happening, I know these things take time but I wonder, I WONDER what my husband would say if I told him I don't like your son, he drives me up a wall and if he was my kid I'd slap some smarts into him
ughhhhh
My boyfriend's son is 8 years
My boyfriend's son is 8 years old too and I couldn't help but agree with some things you said that he does!! If I were you I would say something. Your married, so you both need to try to compromise and be honest. Yeah it may be one hell of a fight but at least you both can lay it all out there and tell each other what is bothering you about your kids and see if you can change it.
That's what I did, to a certain extent. I also used to not say anything to SS but my bf and I have been together a year and a half so I am much more comfortable disciplining. I am also fortunate to only see him 2 days/week!
I found that my SS acted out and whined and bitched about food, etc. because he misses his dad. So I make my BF take him out one whole day out of the 2 so SS can get his fill. Otherwise he will be rude to me and my 3 year old son and just be generally irritating.
I bet your SS8 will not be so difficult if he can get some one one one time in with dad. He probably misses his mom too so he acts out for your attention.
Good luck!!
hi everyone!! i just found
:jawdrop: hi everyone!! i just found this website & i think its gonna make me a whole lot happier!! lol
his mom is a psycho and if
his mom is a psycho and if he's missing her then he's crazy himself, he's at this point a mini me of her, except she's now gone extreme and is starving herself .
Hey I went looking for some
:O Hey I went looking for some advice on step parenting thinking I had a problem but feel a tad stupid now after reading about some of the probs you guys are dealing with.
I am SM to my husbands 12yr old son J,He moved in with us full time 2mths ago and has settled in nicely he is a really good kid and I think the sun shines out of his arse.
My prob is with my husband of 5yrs R and his ex V as I am the primary care giver to J and spend alot more time with him than R due to his work commitments I feel I should have alot more say in the dession making side of things.
R has always found it hard to say NO to V or standing up for himself and me so he just agrees to what ever plans she want to make in regard to spending time with J weather it interfears with my plans or not.
Just over the weekend he agreed to her plans knowing full well I didnt want that to happen and tells me I have NO SAY in it as she is Js mother and I cant stop her from doing what she wants with J.
She wont phone or text me any more as she knows I have no prob saying no so she contacts my husband who always says yes and it ends in us fighting over her AGAIN.
I know primarily it should be about what makes J happy but that isnt always whats best for him and I have watched J improve and thrive on rutine so that she can butt in and stuff it all up at least once a week like her fortnightly weekend and half the school holidays arnt enough.
So I would like some advice if any one can help on how I can get my husband to grow some balls and support me more rather than giving into the ex.
You all probably know this
You all probably know this but you have GUILTY DADDIES on your hands. Not easy to live with. HIS spawn from a previously enjoyed golden uterus can do NO WRONG and can act anyway he/she pleases. However YOUR children come under a microscope and are held to a much higher standard. . .by HIM!
I don't buy the "misses his dad" theory. I've been on this site almost five years now and have over eight years experience on my own. These skids are handled with velvet gloves by daddy b/c he's "afraid of losing his children to the BM" (TM)
They quickly learn that they can manipulate adults by simply whimpering like a baby at an inappropriate age. Their bioparents become "kid pleasers" and downright "kid worshippers" in the war against each other. NO amount of attention will be sufficient enough b/c they've learned that they can call the shots.
Unless daddykins steps up and becomes a parent/demands respect for both you and him, the relationship is doomed. The other option is disengagement. Having nothing to do with his children either good or bad sheerly for self preservation. However, YOUR children will be resentful when they detect the double standard.
I just meant his little boy
I just meant his little boy voice, and that he calls me momma lol . I just mean my son is four and his is 8 BIG difference!
I feel your pain. My DH will
I feel your pain. My DH will notice and reprimand stuff that OUR son (7) does at the dinner table, but when SS15 does stuff and he's sitting right next to DH, DH says "oh sorry, I didn't notice". He never "notices" when SS15 does stuff, I have to constantly point it out and make him reprimand him. He is the golden child, even though he's lazy and a slob. I tried to bond with him for years, and have given up as it just became too stressful. Now we pretty much ignore each other. Sad, and I'm not proud of it, but that's the only way I can deal with it. Having my own DS15, plus SS15, SD12 and our son,7 with the crazy going back and forth with all of them is stressful enough.
However, I can't believe he won't even watch your child for 30 mins for you. Sorry, but that is just plain unacceptable, and I don't think I could have married into that situation.
Trust me Kirbykat I have a
Trust me Kirbykat I have a hard time with him putting his kid up on a pedestel and mine under all.
the thing that upsets me is he compares a 4 year old (out of diapers for about a year and half now ) to a friggin 8 year old boy who knows to SHUT HIS MOUTH about what he doesn't like. He has to turn the tables to grab some control and make sure his son stays perfect in his mind.
and his Son did not come from a "golden Womb" but its his one and only offspring, I at this point will NEVER have a child with him and neither will he. Too much Chaos in our house now and I don't think we could handle another kid pitting us against eachother, on the other hand I'd almost have a kid so we could parent it together, I know that we have parenting issues with our kids but on the other hand I feel we'd parent our own together, because we would both love that child. its a pipe dream though NEVER going there.
I LOVE him he is other than this issue wonderful. but I can't stand the 'his son is better than mine two' and the sad part is he bred with some blond dumbass who isn't EVEN HOT. she's not even pretty, skinny but UGLY. and STUPIIIDD she traded custody of her SON for a couch!! yes I said A SOFA!! for her SON.
SO if you breed with dumbasses what do you get?
yeah sweetie keep telling yourself he's perfect.
we had it out last night and I finally told him "I have people telling me all the damn time I could find a man to love me and my kids" but I choose you because I love you. SO STOP RIDICULING MY PARENTING.
I've decided to disengage for my own sanity and I am fine with this. His kid can turn into a fat jerk for all I care. He said last night what J wants for dinner from now on he gets. I said since when is that new for anything with your kid! he told me not to f'ing go there! FOR REAL even BIO MOM thinks he's spoiled by my husbands mother (and for oncein her sad life she's RIGHT) my SS get EVERYTHING HE WANTS so god forbid I not allow him to give me crap about my cooking!!!!!
breaded chicken, brown rice, peas and applesauce. eww gross!!
how about eating the crap your mom feeds you! and god forbid I tell my husband to stop giving him thirds and fourths so others at the table can eat.
I've come to the point now where I'm so immature about the situation that I hope he gets fat so his dad can see how "perfect" his son is.
SO evil I know but this CHILD IS OUT OF CONTROL cry about now wanting to wear a certain costume his mother bought, and not cry but have a down and out tantrum~! at 8!!! years old!!!!!!
my two are NOT perfect, my son is high energy (not adhd though) and can be challanging but he knows the word NO and he is NOT spoiled. They all want for nothing but my two are not spoiled. Spoiled is 1k worth of xmas gifts that he NEVER PLAYS WITH.
ughghghghhghghhh
Oh and SS15 will STILL have a
Oh and SS15 will STILL have a tantrum and go to his room crying. It's pathetic and I have no patience for it.
I completely understand. My
I completely understand. My DH often expects more from our 7yr old than he does from SS15 and it just infuriates me. I disengaged from SS a few yrs back, and it releived a lot of the stress for me.
I am doing the same Kirby. I
I am doing the same Kirby. I cannot do this anymore. I feel broken . and the most frustrating part is I want to cry, to just GET IT OUT and I cannot.
Why do we have to love people with such little shits for kids? lol
Zebra.wings.... I been going
Zebra.wings....
I been going through something like this... but I finally couldn't take it and spoke to my husband... talk to your husband... if he is a good dad he will work with you.... I don't think some men realized that when their golden child grow up... guess what??? you will either be alone or have a wonderful wife with you.... this is kind of the choice they have to make... talk to him... it won't be easy.. but his son needs to show you respect... not only because you are his wife but because your husband would probably not allow him to treat a stranger like that... talk to him.. it's not going to change from one day to another... and sometimes when you think things are getting better you will have a setback... but be strong.... he needs to adapt to your kids as well... if he loves you and if he wants your marriage to work.... hope this helps... be strong.. don't give in... and let the 8 year old brat win this....
Thanks for the advice and
Thanks for the advice and encouragement Newbie.