I need help, again- (this is a long post, but I wanted to get it covered...)

My DH and I had been fighting over something unrelated to my skids for days, so I was severly annoyed with him. In the midst of it all, his stupid ex sent a picture of herself to my DH cell phone intended for thier son. I was outside on the phone complaining to my sister about it, and my SS walked outside and heard me- I think. I was kind of going off about it, so I didn't notice until I heard the door shut.

The next day, I was home with my SS10 and our son6 while my DH took his daughter11 out on a daddy-daughter date. My SS had been having attitude towards me and when I asked him if his stomach was sick because he was complaining about it, he acted like I was stupid and got edgy with me and said he was just hungry. I told him not to get uppity on me, that I was just asking him if he was okay. He backed right down.

Later he decided to watch a movie, my son was playing, so I decided to come up to my room to feed my new addiction to steptalk.org hehe My son ended up joining me and playing on the tablet next to me, and when I heard my SS turn off his movie, I called for him. I didn't hear anything, so I let it go. My DH got home and attacked me for not including his son because he was sitting alone in his room. I was already so annoyed with him and his son at that point and am sick of ALLLLLLL the shit of his mom not being here being put on me that I just reacted. After I was shut down while trying to explain that I called for him, I blurted out that I didn't like him anyways. I know I was being very childish and rude, but I really am so tired of TRYING and TRYING and TRYING to be the mom, the stepmom, the good wife and getting crapped on no matter what I do. I AM EXHAUSTED.

My SS told my DH that he heard me and it hurt his feelings, of course. Now I gotta talk to him and I want to be honest, but I don't know what to say. He's very sensitive. I am not. I have feelings, but I am more forward and open and honest, instead of passive like my SS. MY son can handle that about me, but my SS can not. I've never been able to form a tight bond with him, and I've known him since he was one. Even as a baby, he wouldn't let people in very easily. I have a harder time with him because he's so thick headed, arrogant, and know-it-all at times. I get along with my SD11, so I know it's not just because he's my skid that I have a hard time with him. My DH family all LOVES my SD, but I think they kind of just tolerate SS because he can be such an ass and a bit snippy with adults, so it makes people uncomfortable. Of course they love him, he's family- and I feel the same way. I love love love him, but I just get frustrated with him.

Anyways, I'm rambling on, but I would like some positive feedback on what I should say to him. I want to get the point across that although I don't really care for his mother and the boundaries she constantly crosses with me, that it has nothing to do with him. I've tried to be his mom's friend and she's just an idiot. I'm tired of the stupid shit she's done being put back on me. Also, I didn't mean I don't like him, when I thought about it I realized I meant more that I don't like the way he resents me, me and my son (for our relationship and for me being here with my son) and how he treats me at times when I do as much as I can for him (he's pretty respectful and thoughtful mainly, he's just having a hard time right now with missing his mom). Maybe I try to talk like an adult to a kid and taking the wrong approach with him. That's why I'm here writing this right now.

And please don't attack me for my feelings and for the things I do. I'm learning too!