Mother in Law
So as some of u know, I can't stand my SD. I wish she lived with her mother and she came to visit every other weekend minus the CS payments we would have to do. I am 27 and I've been married for a year. I didn't think I could ever dis like a kid as much as I do my Sd who is 10 but what about the in laws? I love my father in law! He's the best! But my wicked mother in law... we have come to agreement terms but I still don't like her. My Sd is actually like her! My mother in law laughs at everything. She says stupid stuff like when holding our new born " O he is trying to stand" and laughs. " o u need to eat" and laughs. " Do u need a diaper change?"and laughs. She tries to tell me how to do my baby's food and etc. I'm a breastfeeding mother so ... I will nod my head but I don't really listen to her. My SO loves to pick up my SD from his moms and bring us all with him so she can see the baby. I honestly don't want her touching my kid nor talking to him. She looks wicked. She's a manipulator. Does anyone dis like their mother in law? How do i get over not liking her or how do I deal with her?
honestly, the best you can do
honestly, the best you can do is deal. The only reason I can stand my MIL for 5 days a year is that we moved half way across the country. She's good to her granddaughter, and I know she'll be good to future bios. That's how I try to see it sometimes. Ok a personal level, I can't stand her always trying to show me how to cook or clean something. I just try to smile during those days of visiting and remind myself she's here for her granddaughter, and secondly for her son. Take some of the advice from the above comment and try redirecting conversation. We don't need to love our MILs, just survive them.
Lol thank you all. I will try
Lol thank you all. I will try the first comment.I wish we lived farther from her but... I don't see that happening. She adores her grand daughter and I guess that's good since I don't like neither one of them. Lol.
My mother in law is exactly
My mother in law is exactly the same as yours.... I feel like I was reading my own thought.... and I too have just had a baby.
Problem with your mother in law is that if given the opportunity I bet she would take on the role of Mother to your SD. The reality is that you are never going to change that dynamic. And it will get worse as she get older, then the lies will start and the manipulation will take control.
Be very careful and good luck.
Yes she acts like she is my
Yes she acts like she is my SD's mom. My husband got annoyed with that his self so he stopped that but still, she does that everything for my SD and calls her and checks her grades and so on. So annoying!!!
O gosh! I would grab my child
O gosh! I would grab my child too. That's one thing ppl don't understand. My MIL luckily hasn't done that b/c my son wont stop crying for NOTHING if he wants me or is ready to eat. Absolutely nothing will calm him or no one can calm him like me. Lol. I got lucky in that!
My wonderful MIL feels the
My wonderful MIL feels the need to replay every single aspect of my husbands previous relationships OVER AND OVER AND OVER to me! She'll say things like "I remember when he was with so and so..." and continue on to give me details on the relationships! She still hadn't gotten over a relationship from 15 yrs ago that ended with him being cheated on by this wonderful girl! Not to mention "THE RING" has now come into our lives again...a million yrs ago he and his ex split (not even the ex he has children with! This is like the ex from high school were talking about here!) and she gave "THE RING" back, which in turn him not giving a shit about her or "THE RING" gave it to his sister and promptly forgot about it! Fast forward 20 yrs later, his nieces boyfriend wants to propose and he offers him to use the diamond from "THE RING" seeing that these 2 are young, have just had a baby, and he would like to see them spend their $ on something more like...I dunno A HOUSE TO LIVE IN!! Logical thinking right? U would totally appreciate this and hey maybe even think its a pretty nice gesture?? NAH! Let's instead start WW3 over it saying that "THE RING" should go to SD12 instead! Ummmm WHAT?! "THE RING" has no significant meaning to SD12 at all! It wasn't HER MOTHERS RING! It was the GF BEFORE BM!! I tried to present the idea that I'm absolutely positive BM wouldn't appreciate her daughter getting "THE RING" from the relationship BEFORE her, just like I'm sure my ex's new wife wouldn't want MY RING for their new daughter either! But his family can't see this! I'm just mean and don't want SD12 to have anything!! Are u fucking kidding me??? So with this all being said, guess who blew his family off for Easter this year?? THAT'S RIGHT...ME! And I'll see as little as possible of all these crazy people as possible as much as I can! I will fake diarrhea before I attend another dysfunctional family function again!
At least your MIL's have met
They broke up WELL before I came on the scene, we dated for ages before moving in together, but somehow *I* am responsible for destroying his family!! They had been having problems for YEARS - the ex kicked him out of the house three times (because they fought ALL the time) but always got him back with emotional blackmail over how she couldn't cope with the kids on her own. When he finally made the decision to leave himself I think she expected that he would be back soon enough, so just kept telling everyone how he had deserted her, left her to fend for herself with the kids, bad father etc (even to his mum!) Along I come months later, and then she siezes on that - I must be the reason he left etc, secret affairs etc, (none of it true!) Most of her friends are supportive of him and know what a drama queen she is, they are happy that he has got out and is happy! His mum however, believes the bitch!
I would love to meet her, she is about 85 so won't be around forever, and I just think that he needs to have her ok with his choices and be at peace with it before she dies - if she dies and things are still as they are now I think it will hurt him forever.
As for the MIL giving new baby advice - smile, nod and say that's great - but this is how I do it. Most mothers and MIL's do this (have 4 bio kids - been throught it a bit now LOL) - they just want to share and be involved. No harm in it as long as they aren't sabotaging you.
Ugh I can't stand my MIL
Ugh I can't stand my MIL either!! She has been a major pain in my butt ever since DH and I got married! I have 1 SD who is 5, and DH and I don't have children together yet (I don't have any of my own either). MIL thinks once we have a child, SD will get "pushed to the side." She constantly babies SD and spoils her because she feels sorry for her (long story but basically SD's mother is a complete POS). I have no idea what it will be like when we do have a baby because MIL will have no reason to feel sorry for my child like she does SD, so I feel she will treat SD better. I also plan on breastfeeding and people have already made comments and I am not even pregnant yet! I quickly explain my choice but don't feel the need to go into detail because frankly it's none of their business. Breastfeeding is healthier, it's FREE, and it helps you lose weight faster (among other things)! Why not do it? The only way I deal with MIL is by hardly ever seeing her. I only go over on holidays. She has proven that she favors BM over me (even though her and DH were never even married.. SD was an oopsie) and I refuse to allow that negativity in my life!