just need to vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I get these mood changes with SS3 sometimes. I sometimes am nice with him and then sometimes I totally ignore him. I know DH sees that but doesn't mention it. I have reasons to ignore the kid, it's not like I ignore him on purpose. I noticed when DH does something bad to me or bad mouths me, then I don't like talking to ss. Like today, when ss was over, I asked him to get me something, he said "no, if u don't listen to me, then daddy will yell at u"...where he learned that from? obviously, his dad. His dad just scolds me if I do something wrong. So ss sees that, and that's where he got it from.
Now, this kid is smart, he's 3 year old but smart. He asks questions like an adult (really!). Like two days ago he asked DH "why do you and mommy toss me around back and forth?" I was surprised...He does things on purpose so I can get angry at him. He knows he does something bad, he looks at me with a smile on his face when he does something bad....
these are just minor issues, biggest problem I have is DH doesn't spend equal amount of time with my baby and ss...When DH comes home from work, my baby smiles and starts talking to him, and mr.daddy doesn't want to talk, he just wants to "relax". When ss is over, he spends time with ss like it was his last day with him. Dh says baby is too small to understand and play around with, When he grows old like ss then he'll be fun.
Yah, when my baby turns 3, ss will be 6. then DH will use the same excuse "when our child turns 6 like ss, he'll be more fun"
I feel bad for my baby, I'm the mother and the father for him. Dh just provides financially...
Since we have 1 car, I sometimes have to pick up and drop off DH from work. The days he has to pick up ss after work, and if I'm 5 minute late, he just gets a attitude with me, saying that "don't u know I have to pick up ss! now I'm late!"
I'm 21 years old, I feel like I lived a life of a 40 year old, just stress stress and more stress, and from who? DH!!!!
You need to start putting
You need to start putting your foot down. DH shouldn't be "scolding" you in front of SS3 because that just teaches him that he doesn't have to listen to you.
Time to grab DH by the sack
Time to grab DH by the sack and give him clarity in a hurry. Regardless of your age you should not tolerate this crap from your marrital partner. If DH thinks things are difficult now wait until you leave him, nail him for CS and he is livin gon TopRamen and riding the bus.
Grrrr! I am angry for you.
Good luck.
Sincerely,
I just love the advice you
Oh dear, check out my recent
Oh dear, check out my recent post (last night) titled So Fed Up, similar situation except for ages of kids, mine has gotten worse and not better. DH totally ignores our daughter in favor of SD, says he "had more fun" with SD than our daughter. Better get a handle on this now and lay down some expectations or you could be in for a long road ahead. Sorry to read that you are in this boat at such a young age but on the other hand if you can't make it work you have your whole life in front of you. Keep your chin up and don't let him disrespect you in front of the kids.
Wow! I read your post.. my ss
Wow! I read your post.. my ss is only 3 right now, I can imagine DH acting that way towards ss like that in the next 10-15 years...I'm sorry for what ur DH is doing to u and ur daughter, he sounds worse than my DH... I'm gonna put my foot down now before DH and ss get out of hand...I always think, if I ask for a divorce from DH, maybe thats when he will start realizing what he has done or he can blame it all on me. If you get a divorce, as bad as it sounds, I don't know if your DH would want to visit your daughter since he is too much involved in ur sd...
Finally someone who is my
Finally someone who is my side! Now I know I'm not wrong!..thanks everyone!
typo meant DH says he "has
typo meant DH says he "has more fun" with SD than our daughter, sound familiar? Ugh it seems impossible to me that these parents can look at themselves in the mirror knowing that they are being so partial to one child, but clearly it is a common theme
I agree, in the beginning
I agree, in the beginning when DH was spending some time with my baby, I saw ss looking sad because he wasn't getting attention. I told Dh to involve ss too so he doesn't feel left out. Now he totally ignores my baby and gives all attention to ss! I regret telling dh to give attention to ss, as if he doesn't get enough attention already. Even my parent-in-laws just want to be around ss, they can go out for weeks not asking about my baby...My sister-in-law thinks ss gets too much attention because of his situation, he's going to grow up to be a spoiled brat. i agree!!
my problem is since our son
my problem is since our son was born my SO pretty much ignores his daughter we have 100% so duh after sounding like a broken record to warn him, she now pulls every stunt & behavior to get his attention & to come between us
She openly admits she is rude, disrespectful & disobedient, but shrugs it off when you try to ask her why.
Yes she is in counseling, but we'll see how that goes; last counselor she manipulated into blaming us for not giving her attention, but yet we were told we would never be able to satisfy her constant need for attention.