I deal with that now, my DH takes his DD and his SD from his first marriage for visitation just as his own. Some of that is guilt, as my DH was around her for 5 years, the other part is the BM (FishNchip) thinks it would be detrimental to seperate "the girls" on weekends. So...we get them both...I wish there was a way to stop it but in my case my DH has made it clear he is not going to stop taking Gastapo. The difference is your DH was not a SF to this other child so he probably doesn't have the emtional/obligated feeling my DH has.

I think as the other child gets older that behavior will stop too, that is somewhat normal for a 2 1/2 - 3 year old to cry when someone is leaving and wanting to go. She'll probably get used to it, and grow out of it as well.

good luck!

I like how you are trying to look at it from his perspective. Thats great.

I kinda have an issue like this myself. I have a SD and during the summer she stays with the BM mother's mother. Her grandmother.

My husband and I have a nice inground pool that him and the BM built before they started having trouble and split. The BM moved out and left everything...so needless to say once I married my husband I gained a inground pool.

Last summer my sd called her dad aka my husband and asked if her BM mother aka her grandmother good bring her over to the house and swim one afternoon when we were at work. And whats weird about this is the SD has a pool at the BM house also.

My husband calls me and asks my opinion. I told him that I DID NOT want the BM mother at my house with me not there. We leave the door unlocked and I dont want them in the house! If the SD wants to go swimming she could call my husband mom to watch her at the house.

He did not like my answer and let them come anyway and I could tell they had been in the house!!

This year....it WILL NOT happen! If I have to keep chemicals in it too strong to swim in during the week.

THis is MY house and His house! The SD has a pool at the BM house she can swim there when we are not home!!!

ecoartchick,

I totally missed the point of your original post! sorry, your asking how to explain to SS...not the acutal situation.

I'd probably say something like..well SS, we like to get to visit with just you because we miss you during the days we don't have you. You and your lil' sis can play all the other days, but we our time to special with just us. We know you miss her when your away but you'll see her all of thd other days.

or something to that effect. My son is 10, so I wouldn't make it too complicated or too babyish in conversation, just that it is special time to visit with Dad and you.