Oh HELL NO! Don't ever subject yourself to that... BM made your decision easy the first dsy in the truck. Trust me you dont want to engage count your lucky stars she ignores you. And if she all the sudden does a 180 and want to get buddy buddy dont engage then either!

Don't waste your time. She has already showed her true side. She will be nothing but a problem.

She doesn't want to meet you and that's fine.

Please don't fall for the if she cared, she would try to get to know you line. It could be she knows her ex wouldn't have their child around a woman that couldn't be trusted.

I never made an effort to meet the women my son's dad dated. just figured he was smart enough to keep the nutty ones away from our son.(he was)

"If you introduce yourself, she will know that you have a need to be polite and proper and exploit that. I know that sounds crazy, but this type of person is able to find your weaknesses and capitalize on them."

Yes!

Do not engage.

Nope, just let it be. She knows who you are.

TWO years ago this woman, presumably still sorting out the loss of her marriage, acted in a less than admirable manner towards you. Since then you've respected her space.

With the passage of time you now think it may be possible for the two of you to act in a more responsible manner and you might be right. I know I'm in a minority here but I also know that many people on the web site (not necessarily the ones who have answered you so far) would rather not see two women acting like adults but instead prefer to inject their own hatred towards the "other" woman. Again I'm not pointing a finger at anyone who has responded to your question - just speaking in general about some people who populate this Forum.

Reach out to her - she may be going through the same turmoil you are. She may be willing and able to create a civilized relationship with you. After all she has not created any problems since that first scene so undoubtedly she has settled down.

Now she knows that her marriage is over, her kid is in safe hands and you're not going away any time soon. Approach her in a friendly manner and say "I thought it was time we were properly introduced". If she's aloof don't take offense just wave the next time you see her. If she's friendly continue making small talk until your boyfriend and the kid are ready to go and obviously if you're snubbed just let it go. Good luck. Her actions since that single incident tell me she's not the insane crackpot some would make her out to be.

Nope - stay as you are. Don't feed the animals.

I agree with unfreakingreal. (I used to go with DH to keep him company, but i have other stuff to do)

My scenario was very similar to yours, with an exception.

The first time we saw each other was at a pick up. She smiled and was polite, so I was as well. I normally don't go to drop off and pick up unless we are headed somewhere directly. A while later, I saw her again- she threw me the stinkeye when I smiled, for no reason.

Knowing she is unstable and a hot mess, I ignored her forever thereafter. Flash forward one year? Crazy bitch pulled a stunt that required a call to police, all because there was no drama. She craves the tension and drama. Dont feed it. She may still go off on you, but since you have NOT been the source of drama, you can't be blamed.

And to Orange county? BM and DH have been done for 12 years... Doesn't negate the crazy. Two years is nothing in crazy scorned woman brain.

Jeez- I left out the part where I reached out...

LOL- after she flashed me stinkeye, we had to be in the same auditorium for a skid concert. I tried to make nice and be friendly- she was a complete bitch.

Then a year later she tried to explode my life.

Time does not heal crazy, as we all well know.

Just stay away from her.

Don't poke the crazy.

Our BM wanted to be all fake nice to my face, and then say nasty things about me behind my back to SD and DH. So I put an end to that. I haven't spoken to her face to face in 5 years, and the one time she called the house, I told her DH wasn't home, I'd let him know she called, and then hung up on her. Rude? Maybe. But it is my house and my life, and she doesn't get to worm her slimy way in.

SD18 is now in our custody, and will be graduating from high school in June. BM is dragging her entire family up to WA. She's going to want to meet up and go to dinner or something. DH and I are planning on avoiding her. Graduation in at the Tacoma Dome, so it's not like seeing her will be unavoidable.

We are not her friends. We don't have to be. There is absolutely no reason to placate BM: she doesn't have control over SD18, isn't paying CS, and isn't helping with SD18's college costs, so we have nothing to lose.