I'm the Evil Step-Mother
Okay, so I have a daughter, 4 and a sson who is 10. I have been the only Mother they have known (mine forever) for 3 years. I love them both dearly, and am close to both of them. When my daughter is home, Thursday-Sunday, things are usually okay. When she is gone to her fathers, Monday-Thursday, I cannot "parent" his child. If I have him do his chores, I am a nazi. If I ask him about video game times, or going outside to play, I'm being rude. It really doesn't matter what I say. If I am not telling BOTH kids to do something, because my daughter isn't there, then I am being rude and mean and ugly. If they are BOTH here and I'm saying the EXACT same thing to them, it's okay. He yells at my 4 year old all the time, and even yells about her when she's not home. How she doesn't clean her room properly, or how she's a brat and spoiled. He's said these things since meeting her at almost 2. He says his son never had breakdowns, like all children do, just her. The kids love each other so much, and when he is at work, my sson and I hang out and do fun stuff, and talk about everything. He now says, I cannot speak to his kid when he's not home. How can I help with a kid I cannot speak to, but I am expected to watch. How can I be taken seriously by my sson, when his father screams at me anytime I try and ask him to do anything, and does it in front of him.
He now says, I cannot speak
Then he has to find care for his child when he is not there. Good luck to him finding someone who can't speak to the child they are caring for.
Why are they putting up with this? Why are you subjecting your child to this?
Why are you keeping your daughter in this abusive situation?
Why are you keeping your daughter in this abusive situation? "He yells at my 4 year old all the time, and even yells about her when she's not home. How she doesn't clean her room properly, or how she's a brat and spoiled. He's said these things since meeting her at almost 2."
How can you watch over a child your are not allowed to speak to? "He now says, I cannot speak to his kid when he's not home."
Your husband is being so
Your husband is being so ridiculous that I'd be inclined to leave. Why keep your daughter in a situation where she's being yelled at all the time? She's 4! And to say that you can't speak to his son when you're responsible for him? That's ludicrous and I'd just tell him he needs to find alternate care if he's not there, because you're not going to take responsibility for any child you don't have authority over while you're watching him. And that would include the ability to speak with him. SMH.
I hope you are not financially dependent on this man, because I don't see this working out.
Ugh. Throw this one back. You
Ugh. Throw this one back. You and your daughter deserve better.
He can't have it both ways.
He can't have it both ways. Would he expect a teacher to agree to these terms? His mother?
What you do is dump his son on him and tell him left you no choice. You can not be left in charge of a child and not be allowed to be the responsible adult.
He can't have it both ways.
He can't have it both ways. Would he expect a teacher to agree to these terms? His mother?
What you do is dump his son on him and tell him left you no choice. You can not be left in charge of a child and not be allowed to be the responsible adult.
You deserve better, she deserves better
I've read these forums for years and rarely comment, but I'm tired and sad to see so many men and and women putting up with things they should not have to. This is not acceptable, if you're not brave enough for yourself be brave for your little girl and put an end to this nonsense. No four year old deserves to be verbally abused by an adult. I have lots of memories of being four, things that happen in early childhood affect people later in life. She does not deserve this.
GO! Now. This guy is one
GO! Now. This guy is one short step away from abusing you and your daughter.
You are in danger and so is your child. There is nothing you can do for his son. They kid is cursed with a shallow and polluted gene pool of unparalleled toxicity.
Your husband screams at you?
Your husband screams at you? Is that what you want your daughter to think a marriage looks like?
Why are you with this abusive man?
I take it you are a SAHM,
I take it you are a SAHM, which is why you put up with this. You are financially dependent on this man.
It is time to get back to work. If you haven't haven't graduated from college and/or a vocational training, enroll in program with decent pay potential that is quick to complete- Phlebotomy, X-ray tec, AP/AR clerk cert. Get that done and get a job. Once you have your own money coming in, you will have more power in your relationship, that will give you the freedom to decide what you are willing to live with. We all sincerely hope that you are not willing to raise you daughter in an abusive home, because that is what you are doing now.
You have a partner that
You have a partner that screams at you.. and you allow him to yell at your 4 yo daughter? I don't know why you are still there. You owe it to your child to get her out of the abusive home. If that means that you go to a shelter while she stays with her father until you can figure a way to get your own place.. so be it.