i have knowone else to talk to about sk
i will start of with me and my husband have been together for 3 years married for 1 year. he has 2 kids my sk (boys) 6 and 9. and togther we have 2 kids aswell daughter is 16 months and son is 2 months. up until my daughter was born me and my step kids had a good relationship we would play games ect. but after she was born for some reason i just pushed them away and now since my son was born i just cant stand my step kids at all. everytime they come to our house for there weekend i turn into a complete b****. i cant stand anything they do from just looking at me to playing with my kids toys to eating.
when i was about 2 months pregnant with our son i finally got my husband to confess to me that he was sleeping with his ex wife (sk mother) for the first year we where togther in other words up untill we got pregnant with our daughter. i didnt know what to do wheather to stay with him or leave so of course i stayed cause of our daughter and cause we where pregnant and cause i love him. now his ex wife lives next door to us with my sk. i have tryed so hard to forgive and forget about this whole situation but i just cant, i think about it amost everyday. and it is causeing my marriage problems. i also think that my resentment towards my sk started when dh told me about this. cause the sk remind me so much of her. i just dont know what to do anymore. i have mentioned consuling to dh but he says we cant afford it. and i know if i dont change how i feel and treat the sk my marriage will end. cause like i have said i just cant stand them. the only time i talk to the sk is to yell at them for doing something wrong.
someone please help me out
you guys need counseling and
you guys need counseling and your DH had better think about whether or not he can afford a divorce (and child support paid to YOU) before he says you can't afford counseling again. he is not taking you seriously enough.
i am so sorry to hear what you are going through. NO ONE should have to deal with that mess. i understand that it is not fair to your step kids for you to feel that way about them because of what your DH did, but honestly I don't blame you. I think anyone would have a difficult time responding to steps in that situation.
counseling. and if he refuses to go, i would really really consider divorce.
btw--how did you get him to admit to sleeping with his exwife? How did you know it was happening?
the ex used to text my phone
the ex used to text my phone telling me that they fooled around but when i would ask him he would deny it all. so we split up for 2 weeks before we had our kids and when we got together i asked him the same question and he said the only time he slept with her was during that time we where apart so i took his word. as time went by and thought about it more i just couldnt believe him cause i would ask myself " why would she lie" so i wrote him a long note telling him if he didnt tell me everything than i would pack up our daughter and leave that was when i was pregant with our son. so it took him a day but he finally told me everything.
yes we really do need counseling...
its so nice for someone to know and see how i feel without getting upset about it when i try to talk about it
Thank you that does help
Thank you that does help some. to answer your 5 questions.
1.Yes i do want to stay married. i love my husband
2. i am will to stop my anger but i just dont know how cause they make me so mad so easily.
3. i can not be happy ignoring them cause thats all i am doing now an i am so unhappy
4. i have not trusted him since he told me and im not sure if i can ever trust him completely exspecaily with her next door
5. idk if there is anything for me to do to over come this besides leave but i just cant do that.
i will look into talking to a pastor or counselor.
i just cant stand them skids and it dont help when they never listen to me and my husband always says that i hate them right infront of them and that does not help either.
Hmmm...I get that you stayed
Hmmm...I get that you stayed with him because you were already pregnant, although honestly, not sure I could do such a thing. But after the lie you still had another kid? AND you live next door to her? Why? Not sure I get it.
he didnt tell me the truth
he didnt tell me the truth till we already had our daughter and where pregnat with our son. and the ex just moved next door about 2 months ago.
You are being asked to accept
You are being asked to accept to much. Her living next door is wrong. There are no boundaries. You can not get past this with her there. I would ask myself if I can ever trust him again. If not, it may be better off that you and your kids move out. This is unnatural. I have a BM that lives in the next subdivision over and it is heart wrenching for me. This is way too close.
thats just it tho dh does all
thats just it tho dh does all the decision making when it comes to ss. the only time i get to make a decision is when i argure with dh about it. he always tells me that i am mean to ss and all i do is yell at them. and all i want them to do is sit dont and not talk. he makes it very clear to me and to ss6 ss9 that im not the one in charge when dh is home.