I feel second when Step son comes to visit...
I dont know if this normal or not- I am 7 months pregnant w/ my 1st baby, for witch Im VERY EXITED. I love my baby-to-be and my fiance (the baby's daddy.) Now, he has a 3yr old boy that we have every other weekend and once a week. The problem is that whenever he is around, I feel like a second-class citizen. My fiance loves his son an makes EVERY EFFORD possible to make him happy and content when he's with us - its almost as if he wants him to like it better with us than with his birthmom. My problem is that I dont like it. I wished he would be as sweet as he is to me when his son is not around as when he is around. I mean, my baby would be the first grandchild in my family and his son is the third in his- whenever he is around, we take him to my fiances parents house and they ALL CANT GET ENOUGH OF HIM. My baby?--- well.... lets just say "its not born yet." I dont know if Im being irrational or unfair, but I just cant help but want a little more attention to me right now. He is my fist real relationship and this is my first baby... dont I have a right to feel special right now? My family is not always around because of work, so I dont get to feel special around them all that often. How can I shake off these feelings and be happy when the boy is around? Right now, I really dont like those weekends when the boy is around. PLEASE HELP ME!! Im DESPERATE!! 
ps: My fiance and I live together. I knew about his son before we got engaged and pregnant- I just didnt know it was goign to be this way until after i REALLY fell in LOVE with him- at that point, I took him with ALL his baggage...
i know how you feel
I feel your pain, although I'm not pregnant, but I do have my own six year old daughter, my fiancee is playing the "I have to be the perfect parent" cause he's in a custody battle and he wants to make himself look better...I feel 2nd rate ALL the time...we have talked about having our own but I'm scared the "golden child" will always be number one. He's overbabied by everyone and a spoiled crybaby...sorry I'm venting...have you told him how you feel? I have told my fiancee how I feel, in fact I tell him all the time..LOL...Maybe talk to him about your feelings??
I am a 24 yr old step mum i
I am a 24 yr old step mum i moved in with my partner after leaving the husband i have two lovely well mannered well behaved children of my own then he has his 2. At first when they thought i wasn't there for the long run they were fine but after a while they started causing conflict talkin about me behind my back telling lies to their mum and dad causing major arguements I have been diagnosed with depression and i feel like i am in a rut. we have his 2 every wkend we never get a break ad he has them for his ex in the week too i don't get consulted and if i complain i am accused of hating them and not wanted them around.His youngest is naughty and defiant and has no discipline as her mother lets her do as she pleases she is cheeky and rude and causes a lot of problems but he can't see it he is blind to it all because they are his ' angels' I feel like i come 2nd to them and his ex and it is really getting me down why cant men see these things and see how naughty the kids are and what they are trying to do which is basically get daddy back all to themselves and me out of the picture i know it sounds selfish but is it too much to ask to be loved by someone and be respected by their children ?
Bio Dad's have a habit of being "perfect daddies"
Bio Dad's are scared of BM's.
They worry that if they are not a 'perfect daddy', get angry at, or discipline the kids when they have them, the BM will turn them against the bio dad.
We have this problem, my DH is terrified that his kids will not want to come to our house if everything isn't wonderful 24/7. And the BM often tells him on the phone that "the kids don't want to come to your house". When he asks her why, she says she doesn't know. I suspect that SHE doesn't want them to come to our house and is making up crap, because they are, usually, absolutely happy to be with us when we have them.
DH would do anything to get his kids to choose to live with us full time. As their Step mum, I'm not so sure I want them full time, but I am happy to accommodate them part time. As you have said you love your man, and have taken on his past, which is inevitable (but difficult I know) when you are a step parent.
And as for feeling second, Honey, sorry but the bio kids will always come first. It is just how it is in step families.
I Feel Your Pain
I am in a similar situation; my boyfriend and I lived together and his daughter came to visit for the summer for three month. Boy was I glad to see her leave. The whole entire time she was here spend money on her like you would not believe (granted I had to pick up the slack and pay all the bills). She made my life with him a living H*LL. She would say inappropriate things to me in front of him and he said nothing. He just treated her like this little "princess" when she is a little devil and manipulative already at 7. I found out that I am pregnant with my boyfriend's baby and was having issues with bleeding etc. His daughter called him the day before 4th of July and he left me alone to go to his Mom's house where she was because he wanted to "be there when she woke up". I begged him to stay with me, he told me his daughter was his blood and his heart, he couldn't disappoint her and he left me. Talking about feeling second rate, I just cried myself to sleep. There are times when I wonder if having this baby was a mistake because I feel that no matter what he or she will always play second fiddle to the "princess".