I don't want anything to do with his kids
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My boyfriend has two kids and after living together since March, I've realized that I don't want anything to do with them. I get really annoyed when my boy friend ask me to include then in activities with my bio child and I really don't want too. I feel like my time with my child is our time and I shouldn't have to emotionally support another persons child. They call me their second mommy and incorrect them. I know I'm gonna get flammed be those who feel I should accept his children but I don't want to and I just wanna leave the relationship. I respect them but I don't wanna bond with them.
Then leave. You are not meant
Then leave. You are not meant to be another mother for anyone. So be honest, walk away. And do not involve yourself with another man or introduce a man to your child until that child is 18 and living on their own.
It is unfair for you to live and sleep with a man and act like his wife or Sig Other when you dispise the children in his life. They are part of him and his life and at no time will he expect you to share his bed and not interact with his kids. Nor should your child be expected to live with a man with children that you do not want your child interacting with.
These kids sound like ordinary kids and not particularly nasty or evil. Yet you continue to live with their father in a 'wifely' role yet want nothing to do with his kids that you know he has.
Being a 'wife' and not a 'mother' figure works best when the kids are older and in their teens. They don't need a mother at this stage.
Just tell your bf you want to move out and live your own life. And do NOT introduce another man into your child's life with or without children until you are sure this is 99% forever. Because the damage you will do to your OWN child by moving in and out will be far more evil and selfish.
Consider it a lesson learned.
How would you know if they're
How would you know if they're ordinary kids without me saying so? Wow, gather all the facts before you try to play dr Phil.
No he's doesn't. All he has
No he's doesn't. All he has to do is respect my child. Also I failed to mention that my boyfriend curses a lot and doesn't mind it when his kids 8 and 14 curse. My child is three and I don't want my son dropping f bombs and neither does his biological father. I curse here and ther but every sentence isn't fuck this and fuck that especially not Infront of children.
I think everyone would
I think everyone would understand if you explained what made you feel the way you do about his kids. Did you always feel this way? Did you start out trying to make them feel like one big happy family & then their behavior made you change your mind?
In the beginning I played and
In the beginning I played and interacted with them but over time I just go tired of dealing with their emotional issues. The oldest takes medication for bipolar disorder and the 8 year old has to tie prescription sleeping pills. My boyfriend screams at them all the time and is easily set off. He always telling them to shut the fuck up and he'll beat there ass. I guess I'm really afraid to bring my son around this and my boyfriend says I'm being a snob and I great my kid better than his but I don't want my son to have the issues they do. These kids all set up for failure and I'm supper embarrassed to have choosing such a low quality mate. Also, he moved 50 minutes a way and changed jobs to be with me so I feel guilty in breaking things off. Although his dad is dyin from pancreatic cancer right now, I still feel like the situation would be the same after learning off my boyfriends past.
Why in the world did you make
Why in the world did you make the choice to live with this man?
You had to know that he and his kids curse before deciding to move. If he treats his own kids like crap, how do you think he's going to treat your son?:?
They didn't curse like they
They didn't curse like they do now. I confronted him about it after it got worse and he said fuck it, it's who I am and that's that.
Sounds like a real peach of a
Sounds like a real peach of a guy. The type I'd want around my kids, for sure!
I feel your pain. I respect
I feel your pain. I respect your honesty. I would give him an ultimatum that he either takes parenting classes or behave like a father, you'll walk. It will take time to blend, and sometimes it's not meant to be.
Kids can be frustrating but
Kids can be frustrating but no parent should be telling their kids to shut the f up and that they are going to beat their ass. Totally insppropriate and poor poor parenting. I can't believe you would want your little boy to hear those kind of threats. I would think it would be terrifying to him. And how do you think those boys will treat your son??? Monkey see, monkey do.
If he is unwilling to change,
If he is unwilling to change, the kids will be unwilling to change. So you can either choose to live with it and roll the dice with how it will effect your little one and you in the long run or leave now. Be honest with yourself and him, though. Don't allow guilt to be the decision maker in your life's path.
Good luck
Agree!
Agree!