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Husband is an alcoholic.

Sandi's picture

New to forum, but needed some unbiased opinions.
I know my family would not welcome my husband if I asked their opinion.

Some background; Im married almost 6 years, My girls 17 and 15 live with us.
HIs kids 20,19, and 13. The youngest has every other week visition.

There are several issues but I want to hit on one. My husband is an alcoholic, he is aware of it.
Recently he has said he would quit and that lasted one day. Now he said he would try to go every other day and slowly stop. The problem is when he drinks alot he is very negative towards me and my girls.
The one topic that ends up causing huge arguments is my girls. He says they are spoiled and lazy.
The only thing I pay for that is considered extra is their cell phone bill. Financially things are tight.
They worked this summer and payed for their own school clothes. They both make all a's the occasional b.
They are in other school activities, one is a cheerleader the other a bball player.
As far as lazy, they are given chores, but this last week was finals week so I wasn't as strict about them
getting them done. Typically if they don't do a chore they double up the following day.

In the last two months I have heard from my husband that he is tired of supporting them and they are spoiled and lazy.
My girls BD doesn't send money but we are still in the process of going to court. He is behind around 45k.

Apparently he has strong feelings about that since it always comes up. I feel like leaving, that if we are such a burden on him why make my girls hear this?
The next day when he is sober he always apologizes and says oh I was drunk, but I feel with the amount of times it comes out it has to be true.
I work so it isn't like he is the sole provider, his business actually isn't doing that great right now.
I am currently looking for another job, mainly because he keeps throwing in my face that he is supporting them.

I guess Im writing this more to vent, I am at a loss for what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

soverysad's picture

Being drunk is not an excuse for being an asshole. If he was TRULY sorry, he'd quit drinking if it made him say dumbass hurtful stuff.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Sandi's picture

Thanks for the replies. That is pretty much where my heart is.
What am I teaching my children? ... and why am I allowing him to hurt them, since they can hear
everytime this argument starts.
I think I will try if he quits.

Soverysad... I love your quote!

soverysad's picture

Thanks Sandi - The first part is a country song so I can't take credit (I can't remember who sings it).

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

vgill's picture

I had an Ex who was a drunken alcoholic ,chain smoking, pot head, and that is why he is my Ex .. not to mention cheating!! When I finally had enough and made him leave, the amount of relief I felt Wow!! I felt 100 pounds lighter!! I also felt really strong, like I could take on the world, If you allow some one to treat you like a door mat, you will get walked on!!!